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My bf loves his mom and I'm glad but the only thing I have in common with her is that we're female and have white skin. Seriously I think that most of the guys I know look for the opposite of mom.
It is very true in my case. love my mother and I'm very happy to be married to someone with the same xteristics (goal, family orientation, temperament et al).
My mother.... Where to begin??? She was so ****ed up as a human. Took me 40 years to see her objectively. When I think about her nothing but sadness and pain comes to mind. Potential wasted, completely wasted. Bitter, jaded, angry, sad, dejected, hurt, broken, beaten, and hopeless. My poor mother.... Would I want to be with a woman like that??????
I loved my mom (not obsessively ) and wished I could find a woman just like her.
not possible
There were a few of her generation that really sold me on their value, but since the modern woman has made her self untouchable, unwise, and self absorbed, you can't have two people in the house living like that.
If you ever saw "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" You might understand what i'm saying.
Whether her dad knew or not , that he was being manipulated, she preserved his dignity .
Women are too lazy now days to learn their husband, and not be pushing the buttons that cause problems deliberately, for no other reason then to provoke confusion/distraction if possible. . That's not building a relationship that's destroying it.
Women should not be competing with/against their husband ,they need to be in the same team.
The second she takes some one else side , she has betrayed the team.
A team has one captain not two. sink or swim you chose his boat . if your sitting there drilling holes in this boat your both going down.
Take more thought about the person your considering. Lust does not change them, love doesn't either .
I've known a lot of women young and old from many different cultures and race and economic levels. A lot of men as well.
In time ,unless there are extenuating circumstances, most folks during a stressful event fall back on what their parent did in a similar event at the same age man or woman .
One last thing,
If there are/were drugs involved in a relationship you really have no idea what/who your dealing with .either of you.
If you've been horsing around, you've clouded the facts and have no idea what your looking at.
“Attractive” is a pretty relative term.
I find aspects of my mother’s personality and mothering nature attractive in mates, but that’s becuase she was an alll around good parent and decent human. I find those things so attractive becuase those are the things I relate to as “normal” and in turn what I myself want for my family.
My mother.... Where to begin??? She was so ****ed up as a human. Took me 40 years to see her objectively. When I think about her nothing but sadness and pain comes to mind. Potential wasted, completely wasted. Bitter, jaded, angry, sad, dejected, hurt, broken, beaten, and hopeless. My poor mother.... Would I want to be with a woman like that??????
What do you think?
Sorry to hear that. I certainly wouldn't want to be married to someone like that. Sounds to me like she also had a rough childhood.
Anyway, I hope you've found or find a compatible spouse.
It probably depends on whether either of you have worked out the issues involved with the mother/father figures in your life. I believe some models of psychology have adult/parent/child personas inside each of us and we can take on these roles at any time in our daily life. This alters how we react to others and how we see their role at any given moment. A relationship is supposed to be a mixture of all these kinds of roles played out at different times between players.
My partner is foreign and I can even see quite a few attributes in her which are very my-mother-like and I can also see quite a few of her-father-like attributes in me.
So, do women end up like their mother and do men they marry end up like her father too? If so, does that mean that their mother is like your mother and your father is like their father? Possibly so.
Depends on the guy, depends on the mother. Also depends on the relationship one has with his mother.
Family systems theory notes that our families of origin are responsible for much of our behavioral development, communication patterns, conflict resolution style, etc., but that doesn't guarantee seeking out partners similar to family of origin. People often seek completely different partners.
My MIL and I have been great friends from the day we met. We enjoy one another immensely and have a ton of common interests and a compatible sense of humor. She is a fantastic grandma to our kids and I trust her with them like no other. I consider her a friend as well as MIL, and know she l loves me the same, because she has said so.
But we are also quite different in ways, just as we are compatible in many. She is far more reserved than I am. Also far more organized. She was a math teacher and accountant, and I run screaming from ledgers and budgets. She is petite and athletic, I am neither of those things. She is a planner and scheduler, and I keep things pretty open and spontaneous. But we are both literary types, bookworms, love whisky and gardening and being outdooors, traveling abroad, museums and plays, like to cook and bake, and love dogs.
One thing about my husband is that he has a close, respectful relationship with his mom (and with his dad), and he also treats me with the same respect.
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