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Your husband's full time job has him out of the house 40 hours per week. That leaves easily 100+ hours per week when he's home and you could work at least part time.
My take is that anger is the way this guy reacts to stress. I don't see what you're doing to reduce the stress. If you want to peg the stress meter, start talking about divorce.
He works most weekdays out of town. I have no one to watch/raise my kids while he’s out of town for work and I’m at a full time job.
Your issue is the temper and the actions that follow.
If those are the reasons you have identified as to why you need to step out of this relationship, those are the things you address with your husband.
Don’t wait for it to happen before addressing it, approach the issues you have and talk to one another about it.
You have to make time for your relationship if you want it to survive and not just be two roles the other plays out for the other. You can’t expect people to just “be” invested without giving reason to be so...and with that I would suggest you consider a mediator to help you both address the issue you have maintaining your relationship with the time afforded to you both.
He works most weekdays out of town. I have no one to watch/raise my kids while he’s out of town for work and I’m at a full time job.
How does that work with him having two jobs?
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How did the debt happen? So far, we've gotten "iPad" and "vacation". The debt likely happened the old fashioned way... They spent more than they earned.
They had enough debt that the guy felt compelled to go out and work a second job. The guy has massive stress. It sounds like they're not particularly high income given the grammar errors. The OP isn't contributing a dime to household income. That's pretty unusual in 2018.
I figure the most likely outcome of a divorce is the OP lands in abject poverty. 3 kids. No job skills. The ex-husband no longer feels compelled to work two jobs. If they own a house, that vaporizes. In this case, you want to address the issues, not launch on a path to a divorce. It sounds like money is the big issue in this marriage. Get a freakin' part time job, upgrade your education, and get counseling. The alternative probably isn't very attractive. This isn't a high income household where she gets to stay in the house with a big monthly alimony and child support check.
Wow. If only they could move out of the trailer park, everything would be better.
I'll go out on a limb a say marriages fail regardless of wealth.
Wow. If only they could move out of the trailer park, everything would be better.
I'll go out on a limb a say marriages fail regardless of wealth.
Financial problems and the stress they cause have always been the #1 cause of marriage failures.
The OP has now disclosed that her husband works out of town 5 days per week. Not much of a marriage. Tough to guess whether the second job is also out of town or whether it's a weekend job. It doesn't take much of a Magic 8 Ball to predict how this is going to turn out. Announcing "I want a divorce" on a Friday evening is going to produce a mushroom cloud. With a non-working wife and 3 kids, this guy is going to get slaughtered in divorce court. Why would he ever make another mortgage payment? Why would he work that second job? Why would he even bother to come home from that 5 day out-of-town job?
I've had road warrior jobs. They're not exactly relationship-friendly and mine weren't putting me out of town 5 days per week every week. The travel burnout is brutal. It's not surprising all this guy's filters vanish after month-after-month of that life.
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