A question for men 40+. (marrying, lover, cheat, separated)
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30K a year!!??? You’d be living on the street making that amount in the D.C. area. The average rent for a one bedroom/one bath in a decent area is like $1600-$2000 a month. That’s not including utilities/parking, etc.
And, if course, not everyone lIves in locations where supporting one's self on 30k is out of the realm of doable.
When people generally speak of living in the Northeast, they're not really talking about rural Maine or Vermont and the crowd heading to the Common Ground Country Fair each September.
Low cost and low crime rural Maine is in the NorthEast.
No. Not at all. I said before (I don't know if anyone saw that...it seems to have been plowed right past, LOL) that from the age of maybe early to mid-20s, pretty much all of the men I dated expected the woman they dated to have a career. At the very least I was expected to be fully self-supporting. It was the same for my female friends.
That's been my experience as well. This thread I think is another example of the glaring differences of living in a large metro area versus living in a rural area or smaller metro area. Where I live now, as well as when I lived in Miami and Seattle most of the people I knew who were in relationships or married were pretty close with regard to education and income. Actually when I was on OKC, nearly all of the matches for me based on my preferences for women my age all had very good careers with extremely good paying jobs, and nearly all had at least a bachelors degree with many having more.
Last edited by david0966; 07-12-2018 at 08:58 PM..
Actually, sometimes it does. I'm a writer. I'm a reader. I'm a researcher and learner. This is how I make my living. I can never remember *not* being and doing these things.
I would say that your profession is more an expression of who you are, and not the definer.
There are numerous ways and instances where career choice and character and personality are inextricably tied.
Same thing I said to JerZ: Career is more an outward expression of who we are. Changing career would change the expression but the (inner) definition of Self remains the same.
Same thing I said to JerZ: Career is more an outward expression of who we are. Changing career would change the expression but the (inner) definition of Self remains the same.
When what you do and who you consider yourself to be, identity-wise, are tightly enmeshed, which came first, the chicken or the egg, doesn't really matter much.
When what you do and who you consider yourself to be, identity-wise, are tightly enmeshed, which came first, the chicken or the egg, doesn't really matter much.
If you're over 40 and flipping burgers at McDonalds, you've made a lot of really poor life decisions, assuming of course that you're not cognitively disabled.
LOL - this comment reminds me of the middle-aged, unhappily married character in "American Beauty" who was flipping burgers after quitting his job in a midlife crisis. He caught his wife in an affair in that scene.
In real life, as a 40+ guy I think marriage is a very high-risk commitment prone to failure by (1) infidelity or (2) divorce. Parenthood is also a challenge. So, dating commitments should be carefully analyzed. The "dont' rush into it" mentality is good. And avoid "opposites attract" scenarios - they usually don't work.
With that said, as a healthcare guy and engineer who is not divorced with children, a compatible woman would be highly educated and not divorced with children. That is rare beyond the mid 30s. Trust me. I learned this the hard way. In my case, probably very late 20s to early or mid 30s for a career woman with similar lifestyle and highly educated would be a realistic match.
A lot of guys leave their wives for younger women. But I don't think that's necessarily a good idea. When I was in FL, these four drunk college girls partying "Spring Break" style tried to get into my truck one night. I just drove off. I'd much rather be with a 30 year old DNP who doesn't drink and enjoys half marathons or marathons like I do in the mountains. That Spring Break scene in FL often has "girls gone wild" lol.
I am not naive though. Many married men would jump at the opportunity to be with young college girls like that. I knew a woman who worked at Disney World and told about how many young females on summer jobs or internships at Disney often got hit on by married men despite their families (wife and children) being just around the corner. This is common in Epcot or many Disney parks - the married guy trying to "score" while just out of hearing distance from his wife and children in line. Go figure - daddy failure days.
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