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Old 07-12-2018, 08:28 PM
 
Location: Middle America
37,409 posts, read 53,412,743 times
Reputation: 53067

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Quote:
Originally Posted by david0966 View Post
30K a year!!??? You’d be living on the street making that amount in the D.C. area. The average rent for a one bedroom/one bath in a decent area is like $1600-$2000 a month. That’s not including utilities/parking, etc.
And, if course, not everyone lIves in locations where supporting one's self on 30k is out of the realm of doable.
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Old 07-12-2018, 08:35 PM
 
Location: Forests of Maine
37,331 posts, read 61,154,439 times
Reputation: 30256
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
When people generally speak of living in the Northeast, they're not really talking about rural Maine or Vermont and the crowd heading to the Common Ground Country Fair each September.
Low cost and low crime rural Maine is in the NorthEast.

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Old 07-12-2018, 08:38 PM
 
Location: Forests of Maine
37,331 posts, read 61,154,439 times
Reputation: 30256
Quote:
Originally Posted by TabulaRasa View Post
And, if course, not everyone lIves in locations where supporting one's self on 30k is out of the realm of doable.
$30k is well above the average household income in my town. More than enough for a homeowner to support a family.
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Old 07-12-2018, 08:49 PM
 
Location: D.C.
2,913 posts, read 2,437,454 times
Reputation: 4005
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ View Post
No. Not at all. I said before (I don't know if anyone saw that...it seems to have been plowed right past, LOL) that from the age of maybe early to mid-20s, pretty much all of the men I dated expected the woman they dated to have a career. At the very least I was expected to be fully self-supporting. It was the same for my female friends.
That's been my experience as well. This thread I think is another example of the glaring differences of living in a large metro area versus living in a rural area or smaller metro area. Where I live now, as well as when I lived in Miami and Seattle most of the people I knew who were in relationships or married were pretty close with regard to education and income. Actually when I was on OKC, nearly all of the matches for me based on my preferences for women my age all had very good careers with extremely good paying jobs, and nearly all had at least a bachelors degree with many having more.

Last edited by david0966; 07-12-2018 at 08:58 PM..
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Old 07-12-2018, 08:53 PM
 
Location: Middle America
37,409 posts, read 53,412,743 times
Reputation: 53067
Quote:
Originally Posted by Submariner View Post
$30k is well above the average household income in my town. More than enough for a homeowner to support a family.
The median where I am from is just under $27k

Where I live now, one would need to scrimp, and be okay with a less-than-savory zip code, but it could still be done.
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Old 07-12-2018, 09:19 PM
 
Location: Fairfax, VA
1,020 posts, read 1,008,598 times
Reputation: 1349
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ View Post
Actually, sometimes it does. I'm a writer. I'm a reader. I'm a researcher and learner. This is how I make my living. I can never remember *not* being and doing these things.

I would say that your profession is more an expression of who you are, and not the definer.
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Old 07-12-2018, 09:22 PM
 
Location: Fairfax, VA
1,020 posts, read 1,008,598 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TabulaRasa View Post
It may or it may not.

There are numerous ways and instances where career choice and character and personality are inextricably tied.

Same thing I said to JerZ: Career is more an outward expression of who we are. Changing career would change the expression but the (inner) definition of Self remains the same.
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Old 07-12-2018, 10:23 PM
 
Location: Middle America
37,409 posts, read 53,412,743 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SomeGuyInFairfax View Post
Same thing I said to JerZ: Career is more an outward expression of who we are. Changing career would change the expression but the (inner) definition of Self remains the same.
"Inextricably tied" doesn't imply directionality, though.

When what you do and who you consider yourself to be, identity-wise, are tightly enmeshed, which came first, the chicken or the egg, doesn't really matter much.
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Old 07-12-2018, 10:51 PM
 
30,907 posts, read 32,923,411 times
Reputation: 26919
Quote:
Originally Posted by TabulaRasa View Post
"Inextricably tied" doesn't imply directionality, though.

When what you do and who you consider yourself to be, identity-wise, are tightly enmeshed, which came first, the chicken or the egg, doesn't really matter much.
I was thinking the same thing.
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Old 07-13-2018, 01:14 AM
 
Location: Scottsdale
2,072 posts, read 1,629,987 times
Reputation: 4081
Quote:
Originally Posted by RJ_ View Post
If you're over 40 and flipping burgers at McDonalds, you've made a lot of really poor life decisions, assuming of course that you're not cognitively disabled.
LOL - this comment reminds me of the middle-aged, unhappily married character in "American Beauty" who was flipping burgers after quitting his job in a midlife crisis. He caught his wife in an affair in that scene.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5qfBlDLHRoY

In real life, as a 40+ guy I think marriage is a very high-risk commitment prone to failure by (1) infidelity or (2) divorce. Parenthood is also a challenge. So, dating commitments should be carefully analyzed. The "dont' rush into it" mentality is good. And avoid "opposites attract" scenarios - they usually don't work.

With that said, as a healthcare guy and engineer who is not divorced with children, a compatible woman would be highly educated and not divorced with children. That is rare beyond the mid 30s. Trust me. I learned this the hard way. In my case, probably very late 20s to early or mid 30s for a career woman with similar lifestyle and highly educated would be a realistic match.

A lot of guys leave their wives for younger women. But I don't think that's necessarily a good idea. When I was in FL, these four drunk college girls partying "Spring Break" style tried to get into my truck one night. I just drove off. I'd much rather be with a 30 year old DNP who doesn't drink and enjoys half marathons or marathons like I do in the mountains. That Spring Break scene in FL often has "girls gone wild" lol.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imDML4om8z8

I am not naive though. Many married men would jump at the opportunity to be with young college girls like that. I knew a woman who worked at Disney World and told about how many young females on summer jobs or internships at Disney often got hit on by married men despite their families (wife and children) being just around the corner. This is common in Epcot or many Disney parks - the married guy trying to "score" while just out of hearing distance from his wife and children in line. Go figure - daddy failure days.
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