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Somehow to many in our society working for nearly nothing at a non-profit is nobler than working another min-wage job, which to me is a problematic mindset.
But, difficult to avoid, particularly for those who specifically feel called to do direct service work, the traditionally most poorly compensated tier of nonprofit of all.
It's exceptionally hard to be of the mindset that, "I want to work for x nonprofit, but I want to earn a pretty hefty salary," especially if you aren't particularly interested in administrative roles within NFP organizations with large corporate-modeled structures. Those just don't represent the bulk of the work available, even assuming you're not a person who prefers the boots-on-the-ground type of work that draws many to nonprofits.
I was (basically) asked this question quite a few times as a 19-year-old working as a receptionist at a car dealership, and had no problem answering: I had not been able to afford college while paying rent, and I was working my way up to hopefully becoming published as a novelist some day. I would obviously not tell customers I was interviewing for better positions at something more challenging, I remained professional, but they got the gist and I remained honest. Easy, and done.
I actually didn’t blame them for asking. Made sense to me.
Well that's kind of my point. It made sense to you because you know you didn't really belong there, bc you could do better.
Actually working that menial job starts to wear one down and create the kind of atmosphere where you see people looking down on you, and either feeling sorry for you, or thinking that you're less of a person because you're doing that instead of what they do.
Maybe my response was Defensive, but for someone to ask me 'what the hell I was doing there' insinuated that they could see I could do better than that, but couldn't I?
Well I was doing better than that, do I need to explain to strangers how one gets into that situation, feels desperate, takes the first thing that comes along to at least do something besides a fast tread to help get them out of that situation? I didn't need more judgement or advice so I just smiled and shook my head.
A friendly, nicely dressed business-type man came into Walmart at 4 in the morning, and gave me the most condescending look as I was putting frozen bread dough into the Industrial Baker and asked: "What the hell are you doing here, overnight at WM, surely you can find something else?"
I had seen him a few times and had always smiled and made polite conversation, although I wasn't interested in men or dating. I had to work and that's about all I had time for. I didn't feel like answering because that was kind of insulting, and would he have time, or care to know that I was raising a teenage daughter alone, her father said he would pay for half of her braces but then he fell off the face of the Earth, and so I had to work a full-time job at the hospital during the day, and then a part time job overnight at Walmart in the bakery, so that I could pay the whole $6,000 myself, so that she could get her braces, and not have 2 disappointing parents?
You're right-- people have stories. Sometimes we don't even deserve to hear them.
So true, they don’t deserve to hear them and wouldn’t have the pathos to understand and absorb what you’re about. Good for you in providing for your daughter and doing whatever it took to achieve that goal.
I would not be able to date anyone working specifically in McDonalds or other US fast food places. To me, these are the symbols of disgusting and harmful food, industrial animal slaughter/torture and suffering of underpaid humans. But, for example, if a woman loved children and worked as pre school teacher or social worker, I would have no problem. Unlikely in the Northeast, but if a woman worked in a farm or worked with her hands I would not have a problem. In all these cases, they would probably be earning less than me but should be able to support themselves in a modest life style...
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TabulaRasa
But, difficult to avoid, particularly for those who specifically feel called to do direct service work, the traditionally most poorly compensated tier of nonprofit of all.
It's exceptionally hard to be of the mindset that, "I want to work for x nonprofit, but I want to earn a pretty hefty salary," especially if you aren't particularly interested in administrative roles within NFP organizations with large corporate-modeled structures. Those just don't represent the bulk of the work available, even assuming you're not a person who prefers the boots-on-the-ground type of work that draws many to nonprofits.
Yeah, I earn much less than I did when working for for profits, but it was so much less fulfilling to do so. Each to their own. The main person I'm seeing now earns very very little, but she is well educated, and owns a business on top of it. It's just a tough business to make work. Nothing but respect for her.
Again, as others have said, what would an educated, professional guy have in common with an uneducated, clueless housewife who didn't have the sense to leave a drunken, abusive drug addict who was actively destroying their financial security?
I find it hard to believe you would want to get into a relationship with someone who had so little regard for their own safety and future security as to have zero backup plan in life. Women like that make me shake my head. I just assume they are hopelessly lazy and prefer to be passive and dependent. I guess some dudes like that?
This response indicates very little knowledge of the dynamics of abuse and why victims stay.
It's not something I had a deep understanding of either. Unfortunately, I eventually lived it.
Long term abuse generally results in crippling depression and anxiety for the abused partner. It's not "hopelessly lazy" or "passive and dependent" because it's how they want to be. It's despondency and hopelessness and feelings of worthlessness and fear you can't make it on your own, instilled by the abusing partner. It's a living hell.
Yeah, I finally got out. I finally rebuilt myself. But it's hard. Victims deserve a little compassion if they've endured this kind of crap, not name-calling and even more smearing of their character. Trust me, they got enough of that from their abuser.
That said, if someone hasn't dealt with the impact abuse has had on them, they may not make a great partner.... but often, someone who knows what it is like to live with a figurative boot on the throat is kinder and more compassionate and unwilling to inflict unnecessary pain on others, because they know what it feels like.
When it comes to finding a woman your age, how important is it that she has a good job/career? By that I mean, say you were single and met a woman that was pretty, in good shape, fun to be around, nice etc. however say she had never gotten a college education and was working at some very menial job, say burger flipper at McDonald's or the like. Would you be okay with it, or would it be a deal breaker?
I would not mind what she does for a living (except prostitution ) as long as she earned her own money and I didn't feel like she depended on me. Other things are much more important, for instance similar belief/philosophy, similar musical taste, no smoking/drugs, etc.
I don't share the view that just because someone has a simple job they can't be intelligent and interesting. Conversely, many people with a degree are total a-holes.
This response indicates very little knowledge of the dynamics of abuse and why victims stay.
It's not something I had a deep understanding of either. Unfortunately, I eventually lived it.
Long term abuse generally results in crippling depression and anxiety for the abused partner. It's not "hopelessly lazy" or "passive and dependent" because it's how they want to be. It's despondency and hopelessness and feelings of worthlessness and fear you can't make it on your own, instilled by the abusing partner. It's a living hell.
Yeah, I finally got out. I finally rebuilt myself. But it's hard. Victims deserve a little compassion if they've endured this kind of crap, not name-calling and even more smearing of their character. Trust me, they got enough of that from their abuser.
That said, if someone hasn't dealt with the impact abuse has had on them, they may not make a great partner.... but often, someone who knows what it is like to live with a figurative boot on the throat is kinder and more compassionate and unwilling to inflict unnecessary pain on others, because they know what it feels like.
I can't rep you again, but you said it all, Ann Onn, especially the part I bolded.
I would not be able to date anyone working specifically in McDonalds or other US fast food places. To me, these are the symbols of disgusting and harmful food, industrial animal slaughter/torture and suffering of underpaid humans. But, for example, if a woman loved children and worked as pre school teacher or social worker, I would have no problem. Unlikely in the Northeast, but if a woman worked in a farm or worked with her hands I would not have a problem. In all these cases, they would probably be earning less than me but should be able to support themselves in a modest life style...
Agreed! I have zero interest in a low income, low drive, high excuse, low education, underpaid 40+ female. Not happening!! No matter what poor excuses they proclaim! No time for this BS, no time. They've had plenty of time to self-correct...
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) as long as she earned her own money and I didn't feel like she depended on me. Other things are much more important, for instance similar belief/philosophy, similar musical taste, no smoking/drugs, etc.
