What’s the First Thing You Think Of? (date, wife, girlfriend)
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Some friends and I were talking about our past relationships. One friend suggested an interesting thought experiment. Think back to everyone you had a serious relationship with and say the first word that immediately comes to mind when you think of that person.
Some of the responses:
Hot
Tall
Lawyer
Fat
Black
Older
Drunk
Sweet
Childish
Mother
Bipolar
Cheater
Workaholic
and of course the two words that inevitably elicit laughter, the words that start with A and B.
It was interesting to hear not only the answers, but also how those words seemed to take precedence over other potential descriptors. And it kind of gives a window into how we see our partners, what we remember most about them, and the thing that most defines them in our minds. I was actually surprised and, in some cases, disappointed with the words that popped into my head. One woman, I immediately thought of her age even though there was so much to her than that. Why didn’t I think of her looks, her occupation, or personality? Another, I thought of her issues with alcohol, even though again, there was more to her than that. But it’s an interesting thing to try...unless you prefer to forget about certain people.
In order of people I dated for any length of time since my divorce, there was the User (pretty sure he dumped me when I didn't have as much money out of divorce as he thought I might), then the Flake (seemed nice and sincere, got a second chance months later, and flaked again), then the Dip$#!t (nice enough guy but worst lover ever), then the Felon (Oh I so should have walked away immediately and not let him "explain").... Others I can recall are the Cokehead (he was acting so very weird, no idea if actually on drugs, but he seemed amped up on something), the Player (he gave it his best shot, but we avoided third date sex), the Shrink, the Bowling Ball (short and very rotund) ...
Color me thankful for my current SO, a little Redneck but honest as the day is long.
Trash, Shaman, Liar, Ginger, Ugh, OMGWTF, Lovely hair, Issues, Pizza, Rapist, Kid, Virgin, Comedian, Leather, Vampire, Mischief, Biter, Preppy, Puppy, Thief, Mistress, Devil, Threesome chick, Corrupted innocent, Green eyes, Dark & lovely, I was bored at the time IDK, Loser, I'm using you for your waterbed because I like naps, Captain Hook, Rogue, Rogue's yoga-retreat girlfriend, Soft hippie chick, Bad joke, Awkward, Sparky, Spooky, Patchouli stank...
~THE Ex, PTSD poster child, father of my sons~
Writer, Worm King, Viking, Analyst (quad), Fire & Honey (quad), Hefe (quad), The Critic, The Pirate,
"No, you do not love me, do NOT move to Colorado." (ons), Punk Rock Daddy man
And finally... ZEN.
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