Guys & exclusivity - Is he serious with me or am I being paranoid?

[old_cold]

You said 'safety issues' Does that mean 'without protection'?

[redplum33]

Originally Posted by Lovedianaroses

about one month into dating him, I somehow found out that he was still on dating apps, though I'm not sure if he is still on them now.

Well, look into this ASAP. If you were able to find out then, you should be able to find out now.

As for directly asking him about exclusivity, I guess you should but will it satisfy you if he says yes?

You found him still using dating apps a month ago, you believe he was lying about the gifts, and he gave you a wishy-washy response when you attempted to have the exclusivity talk.

Would you even believe him if he said yes? I wouldn't.

My advice (which you didn't ask for): dump him...or insist on protection in the future.

[Mimidae]

A) Please ignore MechaMan. Most people here do.

B) I think there's a third option, should you have the exclusivity talk and he's not committing to it, other than dumping him or going along with it but insisting on protection. That option is to tell him you're open to continue dating, but you're just not comfortable continuing to have sex while he's still possibly having sex with other people. The phrase "I'm not comfortable" can be a powerful one, especially if you're not a confrontational type. It makes people stop and respect your boundaries, without feeling confronted or attacked.

Some of the troglodytes here will say that I'm suggesting you use sex as a weapon. It's not about that. While open relationships are right for some couples, that's not what you want, and it's legitimately making you feel uncomfortable to be sexual with him without knowing if you're his only partner. Now, dialing back the sexual element may be hard to stick to, or may end the relationship. I'm just saying that it's a third option besides ending the relationship completely or continuing on as is (with protection).

[strawberrykiki]

Ask him. If he really likes you, then he will have no problem being exclusive. He'll be happy that you aren't seeing anyone else too.