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[quote=bell235;52489922]Well his brothers were twins. So idk if that changes anything. I know its harder to lose a twin so the remaining brother/twin is not doing very well.
Weve been together for 7 years, so its a committed relationship. He feels like me and him can go away any time the rest of our lives but he feels like his brother asking him to go is more “once in a lifetime”. And he feels like he never did that when his other brother was alive so he feels like he should go.
Also when i talk to him about it he keeps bringing up how his life is over and ruined now and how much hes hurting so thats why i wanted to post here and make sure im not being unreasonable bc idk what hes feeling.[/quote]
I want to make sure I'm understanding this...your boyfriend is telling YOU that his life is over and ruined?
Hmmm. Granted your boyfriend is hurting, and sometimes when people are hurting, they lash out. But, if my husband said something similar to me, when his sister died, I would've had to put him in check.
Maybe I'm feeling peevish today, but I'm thinking you need to change that vacation to the week that he comes back, and he can 'batch' it for a week by himself. And you take your vacation, and maybe you can get a friend to go with you, and do your best to have fun.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bell235
Car accident.
This is important. It is not like dying of a terminal illness where you at least have some time to prepare to not have that person there anymore. A sudden death is harder to recover from because of the lack of preparation. One of my friends lost his brother to being shot and killed in CT a few years ago. He will tell you the suddenness and graphic death of his brother was the death knell of his marriage because he was having a hard time processing it even a couple of years later. I implore you OP, this is not a fight I’d pick out of compassion for your FB.
This is important. It is not like dying of a terminal illness where you at least have some time to prepare to not have that person there anymore. A sudden death is harder to recover from because of the lack of preparation. One of my friends lost his brother to being shot and killed in CT a few years ago. He will tell you the suddenness and graphic death of his brother was the death knell of his marriage because he was having a hard time processing it even a couple of years later. I implore you OP, this is not a fight I’d pick out of compassion for your FB.
I'm trying really hard to not let that happen. I know we're not married but been together 7 years so it's a committed long term relationship. I would think at some point things need to go back to semi-normal. For whatever reason i view the 1 year anniversary of the death as maybe the time where things may settle down. That's in September. SO yeah, maybe I have to let this go.
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