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Letsay you both married/committed and you both decided that he would stay home as a house husband, would you still expect him to pay 50/50? So if you make double of him, why are you expecting him to still pay 50/50?
You both have incompatible financial goals and values.... need to compromise or move on.
The fact that you are banking on his inheritance doesn't reflect well on you AND more than likely won't solve the underlying... Heck, there is a good chance you may see very little benefit from the inheritance.
You seem money hungry. Seriously you're focusing on how much his parents have and it irritates you that the guy you're with isn't making "good money." You claim to make twice as much and it's bothering you because you feel you pay for everything. Why don't you just leave and find a man on your level?
It sounds like you're plotting on this guy and his family.
Sounds like an episode of Fatal Vows on the ID Channel.
Good points. Never, ever, ever "count your chickens before they hatch".
1. His parents may end up spending 100% of their money in nursing home costs/mal-practice law suits/expensive vacations/etc. and your boyfriend may receive nothing. Heck, he may have to help his parents pay their bills.
2. Any inherited money belongs 100% to the person who inherits it. Even if you have been married for 50 years that money belongs to your partner, and your partner alone.
Plus there is no guarantee that even if his parents have $5 million when they pass, they won’t give $4.9 million of it to charities of their choice. I had one relative who died and still had several hundred thousand in her accounts, but she donated about 2/3 of it to charity. I can see that being more likely the case if they feel like their children married gold diggers who would squander the money.
Is it safe to assume he's probably going to get a lot of money after they pass, which he'll then be able to start paying for things that I've always paid for?
I feel like if I knew for sure he was going to inherit a million dollars, I would not feel so resentful and angry that I work more than he does so we can afford to go on vacation.
No. Never safe to assume anything at all, aside from the money points that everyone pointed out... Why would you expect him to do something he's not already doing now? Even if he DID inherited tons of money, he'd likely keep the current arrangements you guys have now because that is the expectations you taught him.
Your best bet is to tell him about your resentment and what you want to happen.... then change your behavior (like opting for vacations where he can afford his part, working on a budget together to buy furniture, etc). I would leave out the potential windfall part because it's not even relevant to the discussion.
OP, a million isn't a lot of money for two people in their old age. A lot of that could get burned up in just a few years, if they needed home health care, or nursing home care.
But I do feel like what I spend on him I could have put towards my own retirement savings (we are not married so I still feel financially responsible for myself). Plus, unlike him who has a large potential inheritance, I'm definitely not getting anything.
You SHOULD feel financially responsible for yourself. Stop splurging, and amp up your savings. If you two break up, you'd be up a creek with nothing to show for it, because you spent years spending on his vacations. Think about it. Also, there's no guarantee that he will outlive his parents. He could keel next week. Health and life span get very unpredictable after about 50.
Since you don't really like his financial situation...you should fine someone that is more suited for you.You are getting resentful of his situation because you know his family has money and you feel that your bf should be doing more and having more money.When you start being resentful of the person that you're with..it's time to go.It's not fair that he's with someone who feels this way about him.I'm sure he's a good buy BUT his finances seem to be bothering you to the point where you're resentful of him.
I didn't know what his parents did or their financial status until we decided to move in together so clearly I wasn't after him for his parents' money.
I have no problem paying for furniture and vacations. I feel some resentment yes. However we have fun and that is what is important.
But I do feel like what I spend on him I could have put towards my own retirement savings (we are not married so I still feel financially responsible for myself). Plus, unlike him who has a large potential inheritance, I'm definitely not getting anything.
I didn't say you went after him with that in mind but it seems to be a reason you might stick with him otherwise. Provide for your own retirement FIRST. He isn't even going to be able to cover his own.
The "inheritance" is not such a thing until BOTH parents are gone and haven't spent it all....and not donated it to charity. There are a dozen ways this could go badly.
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