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Old 07-25-2018, 09:24 PM
 
Location: SoCal
14,530 posts, read 18,534,716 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SomeGuyInFairfax View Post
Are these no-show men members of the meetup group? If so, it would be strange for them not to go.

I would bet that some of them scan the pics of the women who RSVP "yes" and, based on that, decide whether or not to go. This does not necessarily suggest a negative opinion of the women; it is equally likely they (the men) feel they do not measure up. Or as you noted, if they see other men going, they may shy away from the competition.
That's way too calculating. If men don't go it's probably they aren't interested in that mode of meeting women.
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Old 07-25-2018, 09:25 PM
 
3,855 posts, read 1,618,590 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth View Post
It's it's beginning to be clear to me that most meetup groups that are specifically geared towards singles tend to attract a boatload of women and not very many men. Now, I know why women go to these meetup's to meet men, but I am wondering why men don't want to go to these meetup's. Is it because men don't like meeting women in groups? It is because you think there will be a bunch of ugly women there? Is it because you think there will be too much competition and don't want to bother? Why do men seem to prefer online dating to meeting women in singles meetup's?
Funny mention this. The group that I'm active in, it's a regular social club, but the organizer was telling me the women there had been complaining that there's not enough men. The encouraged her to start an actual singles group.

I was like, "What of us men that are going? Aren't we good enough? lol".

But yeah, there could be other theories, but it's pretty interesting that I have seen my share of meetups with lopsided attendance where women outnumber the men.

Also, when people RSVP, you have to expect half of them to be no-shows or flake out at the last min. These days, there are too many damned Meetups that people wind up double booking themselves for 2 nights with 2 diff. Meetups by accident.

They should also put a cap on how many Meetups a member should belong to. I'd seen a guy have been a member of almost 300 Meetup groups. lol Usually the more Meetups someone join, the less likely they attend. I asked this one woman , who was a member of about 70, how long she'd been a member, and how many events she'd been to.

Member a year, only 1 event. lol
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Old 07-25-2018, 09:31 PM
 
3,855 posts, read 1,618,590 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lovehound View Post
I couldn't give you +rep because must spread it around...

Exactly! I'd like to go to meet-up events single or otherwise but they never have any interesting events that are within my reasonable travel range, and I'm in Los Angeles! Granted LA is a big city and I'm not going to drive to South LA or East LA for an event, but the event has to have at least some interest for me beyond being a flesh market.
Should be plenty of activity/hobby-based Meetups to choose from, yes? No?

Quote:
And right again, who needs that? OLD is working fine for me. Don't fix what ain't broke.
FUnny, I dumped online dating a year ago only because I wasn't getting any results, Meetup is by far the better option, because at least the women can't ignore you. LOL Face-to-face interaction is the best.

Quote:
I'm thinking of starting a meet-up group of my own, just because I have an interest that I would like to find other people interested too. I don't care if men or women show up, and if some attractive single women show I wouldn't mind.

But nah, not as a way to specifically meet women.
But you would use OLD to specifically meet women? Not sure if that makes any sense. Sounds like you're regressing from face-time to face-less time these days.

Quote:
Yeah I'm specifically talking about meetup events geared towards singles for them to just get together and hang out. My belief is that men don't really go to these, but they would go to events centered around a specific activity that they are interested in. For meeting women, they go for online dating sites above all else.
I still don't get this. I specifically kicked online dating to the curb to meet women at Meetups. Typically theyare social clubs, but they are like 99% single people anyway.
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Old 07-25-2018, 09:34 PM
 
3,855 posts, read 1,618,590 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by picardlx View Post
Logistically, how are these singles group events suppose to play out? Do you pair off or play musical chairs or something? I'm being a bit sarcastic but genuinely unsure.
They are typically dining Mixers. Sometimes the organizer plans ice breaking games. It's basically hanging out at a dining/drinking venue, making introductions, and chatting each other up.

Quote:
That sounds dreadful. Hanging out with random people you don't know at all, haven't conversed with, and the only thing you have in common is being single? No thanks.
As if ONLINE dating is any better? lol Funny

Some Meetups have singles groups, but they die off or go inactive after a time. There's this one that completely died for 2 years, but people keep joining. If a pretty ladies signs up, I send her a note to chat her up. Make note that "Hey, this group was abandoned, but let's get to know each other anyway" lol
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Old 07-25-2018, 09:40 PM
 
Location: SoCal
14,530 posts, read 18,534,716 times
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ThisTown, OLD is working fine for me. The last time I looked at MeetUp I didn't find any meets that appeared interesting.

I would think that the admission/RSVP fee would dissuade no-shows. Most meets in my area are $$$ to reserve your spot. Perhaps that doesn't apply in other areas.

Actually OLD is working fantastic for me.
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Old 07-25-2018, 09:44 PM
 
3,855 posts, read 1,618,590 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lovehound View Post
ThisTown, OLD is working fine for me. The last time I looked at MeetUp I didn't find any meets that appeared interesting.

I would think that the admission/RSVP fee would dissuade no-shows.
I would hope so, it makes sense.

Quote:
Most meets in my area are $$$ to reserve your spot. Perhaps that doesn't apply in other areas.
This is to pay to offset the subscription costs for the organizer. I'm sure there are tons of those that don't cost anything. Some charge yearly dues, like 10 bucks a year. No biggie.

Quote:
Actually OLD is working fantastic for me.
Must be your area, where I live it's mostly people of Wal-Mart look-a-likes, or the finite # of women I had already emailed, I'd come around full circle again to email them again because they ignored me. lol

Eventually, I got sick of the same faces of these online dating spinsters. lol
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Old 07-25-2018, 09:50 PM
 
Location: Fairfax, VA
1,020 posts, read 931,241 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lovehound View Post
That's way too calculating. If men don't go it's probably they aren't interested in that mode of meeting women.
But why then, did they join the group?
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Old 07-25-2018, 09:51 PM
 
Location: SoCal
14,530 posts, read 18,534,716 times
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Yes I know the reason for RSVP charges, it's (1) to ensure they show, and (2) offset MeetUp fees for the organizer. I have been thinking of starting my own MeetUp group, but for general purpose not specifically to meet women. I analyzed the cost model.

I'm in greater LA area. There are an infinite amount of people OLD within reasonable distance from me. I live near the ocean in more ways than one.

Ech, dating a la Wally World. How cheerful.

In OLD my site(s) show last message date, and if I see them again and they didn't answer my last message I block them.

Living in a metro area you get an infinite ocean of matches.
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Old 07-26-2018, 02:04 AM
 
10,081 posts, read 4,980,606 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by picardlx View Post
Logistically, how are these singles group events suppose to play out? Do you pair off or play musical chairs or something? I'm being a bit sarcastic but genuinely unsure.
The only way I'd go to a singles meet-up is if it was Musical Chairs Meet-Up, and even then it would depend on the music.

You might be on to something.
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Old 07-26-2018, 06:27 AM
 
2,626 posts, read 5,068,895 times
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The meet up groups that I've seen in my area are not all listed as singles groups. There are book clubs, walking, running, cycling, wine tasting, etc. There seems to be something for everyone. As a female that has not been in the dating game for over 25 years, my thought was if I ever wanted to attempt to begin dating again, a meet up group would be ideal because the sole purpose of the meet is not to be interviewed as a potential partner.

If you were engaging in an activity-- mini golf or wine tasting or whatever-- with a group of people with no pressure because it's just a friendly, social gathering, you can scope people out and get a good glimpse of their personality. Who gets competitive? Who dominates the conversation? Who has the whole win at all costs attitude and gets upset if they are not the star of the group. It's kind of like the way you learn a lot about people at work. Who is a hothead? A know it all, etc.

Maybe for guys, it's a lot easier to meet someone online that they find pretty, take them for a drink and see what happens rather than invest the time in going to a group, getting to know the people there, and then maybe trying to take it to the next level. Understandable, but to me, these groups seem like a good way for those of us out of the "scene" or the shy, introverted to get out there and participate in something with zero pressure and no obligation to stay or ever show up again if it's not your thing.
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