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Old 08-01-2018, 07:24 AM
 
14,492 posts, read 17,463,326 times
Reputation: 11291

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All my kids are over 18 and flown the coop and this is new for me so I'm really enjoying it. I'm also looking for a special guy who is "the one" who I can spend the rest of my life with. I finally see a guy on the dating app who looks good to me but then I lost interest after he told me he had 4 kids who were all minors and living at home. Am I horrible for that?

I just don't feel like dealing with kids right now, I need a break.

(PS - FTR, I'm not interested in casual dating or "sometimes lovers". I'm looking for something serious and that's non-negotiable)

 
Old 08-01-2018, 07:30 AM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
7,711 posts, read 4,936,773 times
Reputation: 12711
No.

Like you said, all your kids are grown and gone. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to date someone who is under similar circumstances as yourself.
 
Old 08-01-2018, 07:34 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea View Post
No.

Like you said, all your kids are grown and gone. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to date someone who is under similar circumstances as yourself.

Thanks. Now this guy is talking to himself because I just don't have the heart to tell him that I'm not interested now because of the kids.
 
Old 08-01-2018, 07:48 AM
 
Location: Nantahala National Forest, NC
27,092 posts, read 6,018,863 times
Reputation: 30347
No, you are not horrible....who wants to parent 4 kids when you just finished up your own kid duty?

Do the adult thing and just politely say I've just finished raising my kids and feel free for the first time in years...and enjoying it.
 
Old 08-01-2018, 07:59 AM
 
14,492 posts, read 17,463,326 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by greatblueheron View Post
No, you are not horrible....who wants to parent 4 kids when you just finished up your own kid duty?

Do the adult thing and just politely say I've just finished raising my kids and feel free for the first time in years...and enjoying it.

Thanks, that's a great line. I will use it.


50/50 chance he'll suggest that we then see each other casually. I'll update if he does.
 
Old 08-01-2018, 08:02 AM
 
Location: St Augustine
309 posts, read 326,125 times
Reputation: 539
No you are not horrible for that. You are in a position where you can do things like travel, go out or whatever and you want a partner that has the same freedom of choices too and you cannot have that with minor children at home.

I think you do owe it to the guy to let him know that though. You can let him know without sounding bad. Just tell him you are at a point in your life that you want that freedom to do things that you cannot do with minor children. Wish him well on his search because you are interested in a long term commitment.


Good luck OP~!
 
Old 08-01-2018, 08:07 AM
 
Location: Nantahala National Forest, NC
27,092 posts, read 6,018,863 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth View Post
Thanks, that's a great line. I will use it.


50/50 chance he'll suggest that we then see each other casually. I'll update if he does.

I'd be wary of dating casually. You might end up really liking him, then where would you be???

Back to parenting... HIS kids!
 
Old 08-01-2018, 08:10 AM
 
14,492 posts, read 17,463,326 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by greatblueheron View Post
I'd be wary of dating casually. You might end up really liking him, then where would you be???

Back to parenting... HIS kids!

Oh, don't worry... I'm not interested in dating anyone casually. As I said in my opening post, it's non-negotiable.
 
Old 08-01-2018, 08:14 AM
 
Location: Nantahala National Forest, NC
27,092 posts, read 6,018,863 times
Reputation: 30347
Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth View Post
Oh, don't worry... I'm not interested in dating anyone casually. As I said in my opening post, it's non-negotiable.

Oops sorry, you did say that...
 
Old 08-01-2018, 08:16 AM
 
14,492 posts, read 17,463,326 times
Reputation: 11291
Quote:
Originally Posted by greatblueheron View Post
Oops sorry, you did say that...

No worries. It's always good to hear men's thoughts anyway.
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