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And if so, how common is that sort of thing? I have had numerous experiences when women somehow cooled off when I would reveal to them that I am in fact a long time immigrant.
I only have a very slight accent so a lot of people dont realize it right away, but it seems if I reveal my background early on women seem to lose interest just like that. What's up with that?
Sure, some may. I sure as heck would not. I would recommend not letting the thought that some may pass on you get in your way of finding your sweetie. You are just as worthy and valuable as any other man. I support you 100%, dude! Do not, please, let what others think of you get in the way of the life you desire.
I know one case where the problem was a difference in deeply held values.
The man was from France and he was shocked to discover that the American woman he was dating did not accept the fact that "it was expected, allowed, assumed, etc. etc." that ALL married, well educated, professional French men would have mistresses, even long time mistresses. And that they may support those mistresses and may even have children with them. And, that the legal wife was not to be upset or jealous or try to interfere in any way with his right to have sex with other women (and even support them and support any children that he may have with them).
In my friend's case this was a "deal breaker" and she refused to marry him. He never understood why she did not understand that having a long term mistress was perfectly acceptable, even expected, of a married man from his culture. And, she never understood how he could not understand that your husband having a long, term loving relationship with another woman was not acceptable to an American woman.
Last edited by germaine2626; 08-03-2018 at 11:47 AM..
Probably. People have all sorts of must-haves or dealbreakers. Classifying it "discrimination" may be a little dramatic, though. In that case your have to classify every general yes or no as discrimination. So for example, if you won't date older women, you're engaging in age discrimination. Won't date overweight women, weight discrimination. Won't date a different political affiliation due to value differences, or someone who's been to jail, or someone you don't feel is pretty, or someone who will not have sex outside of marriage, etc., are those all discrimination? They're preferences. It is or if ain't, as my mama used to say.
I know one case where the problem was a difference in deeply held values.
The man was from France and he was shocked to discover that the American woman he was dating did not accept the fact that "it was expected, allowed, assumed, etc. etc." that ALL married, well educated, professional French men would have mistresses, even long time mistresses. And that they may support those mistresses and may even have children with them. And, that the legal wife was not to be upset or jealous or try to interfere in any way with his right to have sex with other women (and even support them and support any children that he may have with them).
In my friend's case this was a "deal breaker" and she refused to marry him. He never understood why she did not understand that having a long term mistress was perfectly acceptable, even expected, of a married man from his culture.
The French women I know, living in the US, married to American men, don't believe men have a right to have women on the side. One was caught by surprise and unhappy to learn that her husband was having an affair. She divorced him. The one French man I know, married to an American, does not have affairs, nor does he have any interest in that.
I suspect that having affairs isn't as accepted in France as some French (and their film industry) would have us believe.
I know one case where the problem was a difference in deeply held values.
The man was from France and he was shocked to discover that the American woman he was dating did not accept the fact that "it was expected, allowed, assumed, etc. etc." that ALL married, well educated, professional French men would have mistresses, even long time mistresses. And that they may support those mistresses and may even have children with them. And, that the legal wife was not to be upset or jealous or try to interfere in any way with his right to have sex with other women (and even support them and support any children that he may have with them).
In my friend's case this was a "deal breaker" and she refused to marry him. He never understood why she did not understand that having a long term mistress was perfectly acceptable, even expected, of a married man from his culture.
Wow.. That just sounds.. Medieval? I would definitely not be on board with that either.
Probably. People have all sorts of must-haves or dealbreakers. Classifying it "discrimination" may be a little dramatic, though. In that case your have to classify every general yes or no as discrimination. So for example, if you won't date older women, you're engaging in age discrimination. Won't date overweight women, weight discrimination. Won't date a different political affiliation due to value differences, or someone who's been to jail, or someone you don't feel is pretty, or someone who will not have sex outside of marriage, etc., are those all discrimination? They're preferences. It is or if ain't, as my mama used to say.
I see your point. "Prefer not to date foreigners" is really what I had in mind.
When it comes to looks and weight it probably cant be treated the same way. We like who we like and a lot of times it is sort of "pre-programmed" by our own self-concept as to who is conceivably "in our league".
Indian here, and yes. Some races are discriminated more than others. Being Indian apparently is the worst, I get swiped left on online apps and don't get responses on online dating websites. It's not much different in real life either.
And contrary to popular beliefs, I grew up here since I was 18 and am pretty Americanized(I hate using that word but still), my interests are more American than anything else. Bottom line is that White women exclusively date higher status males and Indian men are considered to be lower status due to stereotypes, negativity shown in the media etc.
The only American women that go after Indian men do so if the Indian person were to be very wealthy, those relationships dont' last long.
I see your point. "Prefer not to date foreigners" is really what I had in mind.
When it comes to looks and weight it probably cant be treated the same way. We like who we like and a lot of times it is sort of "pre-programmed" by our own self-concept as to who is conceivably "in our league".
But don't you think some women are intrigued by foreign men? If you're asking why a particular woman may not want to date you, being foreign may factor into her decision. But if you're asking generally, I'm not sure being foreign is something that greatly changes your general odds of being found attractive.
This thread will be locked down very soon. Before it gets locked I wanted to add in my opinion.
When it comes to race women are 'pickier' when it comes to dating and relationships. Again not all women but some women.
However when it comes to men males are more open-minded to dating foreign born women. Not all men of course but IMO the percentage of men willing to date and marry foreign born women are higher than women. IMO. Have to stress that since there are statistic Nazis on CD.
There is nothing racist about having a preference about not wanting to date foreign born men. Nothing.
It's just that men will date almost anyone he finds physically attractive no matter the ethnicity.
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