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It's a study done with approximately 200k men and women using a dating app. Take note of #6 below.
Conclusions:
1.Women receive more messages than men.
2.Most of the messages sent on the service go to only a small fraction of users.
3.For men, desirability peaked at around 50 years old.
4.For women, desirability peaked at 18 and dropped steadily with age.
5.When trying their luck with more attractive people, men were more successful in getting a response if they sent less enthusiastic messages.
6. Both men and women send most of their messages to people at least 25% more desirable than themselves.
Not applicable to real dating experience/resulting dates/relationships overall as THOROUGHLY debunked previously, so...this doesn't really serve as an example for how the general population ultimately operates.
Also, the "desirability" thing was very very debunked as far as functionally correct (in real-world situations).
I think you're completely skewed. Quite honestly, I don't think I ever dated ANYONE that I felt lesser than. You make it sound like the 'uglier' one counts his/her lucky stars to be viewed with a hottie, and will do anything to hold onto the hottie.
And when one thinks this way, that's often the person who doesn't have many, if any, relationships, and keeps wondering why.
We see this sort of thing on here all the time, so that's the observation I take the above comment ^ from.
It's also most common. And not because we have to, but because we want to, at least according to currently psychology, which holds that we rate people who look like ourselves as more attractive whether they're subjectively (to other people) attractive or not.
So since this was IMMEDIATELY taken out of the realm of personal experience and turned into an observation of studies (not by you, srjth), there you go. How most people actually feel about a hierarchy of looks/attractiveness, in a functional, real-world, relationships choice way.
Yeah...it's like he thinks it's a social caste or something. Very high school like.
Well yeah, a ranking hierarchy of attractiveness. The good thing is you can climb the latter with simply just losing abit of weight and dressing better. The rest is genetics.
So in other words, would you rather be physically more attractive than your partner or vise versa?
I feel like I always have to be the better looking individual in a relationship or else i’d let my insecurities ruin the relationship somehow. You’d always feel like your partner has more options than you and can leave anytime they want.
When you’re the more attractive one there’s a sense of more control, and you can “use your powers for good” and actually be loyal and comfort your partner to trust your commitment. (The ones who use their power for bad are the players/heart breakers).
I wish there was someway the mods can double post this in the psychology forum but I rather keep it here because i rather the get relationship thread advice perspective from my thesis. Maybe in 48 hours the mods can move this to the psychology forums so I can gain their perspective aswell without spamming a duplication thread.
To the relationship thread: discuss the advantages and disadvantage of being the highly more attractive one vs vise versa
To the psychology forum: is there any research on experiments like this in humans? And is it normal for me to feel this way of “having” to be the more attractive one in a relationship?
Oh, and i’m 27 years young if that matter. Maybe you wiser ones with experience can somehow foreshadow what to expect in the rest of my twenties and thirties. My theory is that 27 is still too young for the majority to be mature and doesn’t know what they want.
Who thinks about relationships in terms of comparative looks, and power dynamics? I mean, besides you and a bunch of teenage and college-age guys? Anyone?
Well yeah, a ranking hierarchy of attractiveness. The good thing is you can climb the latter with simply just losing abit of weight and dressing better. The rest is genetics.
I think it's easy to forget the science behind choosing a mate. Evolutionary biology has shown that most mammalian species choose their mate based upon; fertility-for the females and ability to provide-for the males. The reason that younger females garner the most attention is because they are the most fertile and, what we perceive as beauty is what alerts us to this fertility. It's the same reason males garner attention for being the best groomed and strongest.
Who thinks about relationships in terms of comparative looks, and power dynamics? I mean, besides you and a bunch of teenage and college-age guys? Anyone?
I sense the OP is quite young (I'm guessing in his late teens) and haven't really gotten much real life dating experience
If I was dating, I would prefer to date someone who's company I enjoyed.
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so...this doesn't really serve as an example for how the general population ultimately operates.
