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So in other words, would you rather be physically more attractive than your partner or vise versa?
I feel like I always have to be the better looking individual in a relationship or else i’d let my insecurities ruin the relationship somehow. You’d always feel like your partner has more options than you and can leave anytime they want.
When you’re the more attractive one there’s a sense of more control, and you can “use your powers for good” and actually be loyal and comfort your partner to trust your commitment. (The ones who use their power for bad are the players/heart breakers).
I wish there was someway the mods can double post this in the psychology forum but I rather keep it here because i rather the get relationship thread advice perspective from my thesis. Maybe in 48 hours the mods can move this to the psychology forums so I can gain their perspective aswell without spamming a duplication thread.
To the relationship thread: discuss the advantages and disadvantage of being the highly more attractive one vs vise versa
To the psychology forum: is there any research on experiments like this in humans? And is it normal for me to feel this way of “having” to be the more attractive one in a relationship?
Oh, and i’m 27 years young if that matter. Maybe you wiser ones with experience can somehow foreshadow what to expect in the rest of my twenties and thirties. My theory is that 27 is still too young for the majority to be mature and doesn’t know what they want.
He probably wouldn’t catch my attention in the first place unless I found him attractive, so it doesn’t matter to me which one of us is perceived to be the better looking one. I’m not going to date a person who I don’t find attractive just so that I can feel more secure in the relationship because unattractive people cheat and dump you too.
Hmmm. In my life, I dated ONE guy that I thought was not all that attractive. It was through a dating service. (Before OLD really took off.) It lasted a couple of months, it was a long distance thing, and by the end, I was quite sick and tired of him.
Everyone else, I've always thought they were attractive men. Heck, I like resting my eyes on handsomness. LOL
I’m not going to date a person who I don’t find attractive just so that I can feel more secure in the relationship because unattractive people cheat and dump you too.
Right? Anyone can leave a relationship at any time if they feel like their needs aren't being met. Doesn't matter a whit what they look like.
Serious ones? Then two relationships. But i’v gone on many dates and had short term relationships.
But please, I don’t want to make this thread all about me. I’d also enjoy to read your opinions’ and experiences with this.
I dont get the whole being in control (use your powers) nonsense, just because someone is aesthetically better looking. It screams lack of confidence, and being insecure.
Ive always been the uglier one in most of my relationships, now that i think about it. Its just something i didn't care about or gave much thought while being in a relationship. Anyone can leave at anytime.
Right? Anyone can leave a relationship at any time if they feel like their needs aren't being met. Doesn't matter a whit what they look like.
Yes I agree with you and Hawaiiancoconut, but you can not disagree that the lesser attractive one will feel like they need to put in more effort in maintaining (keeping a hold on to) the relationship than the more attractive one.
In other words, lesser attractive partners are willing to put up with more negative aspects of the relationship. They’ll try to keep the relationship on going for as long as possible.
Yes I agree with you and Hawaiiancoconut, but you can not disagree that the lesser attractive one will feel like they need to put in more effort in maintaining (keeping a hold on to) the relationship than the more attractive one.
In other words, lesser attractive partners are willing to put up with more negative aspects of the relationship. They’ll try to keep the relationship on going for as long as possible.
I think you're completely skewed. Quite honestly, I don't think I ever dated ANYONE that I felt lesser than. You make it sound like the 'uglier' one counts his/her lucky stars to be viewed with a hottie, and will do anything to hold onto the hottie.
I've always worked from an aspect of "I'm attracted to you, you're apparently attracted to me" and with that out of the way, we can move on to other things.
Overall people tend to wind up with people fairly similar in looks per others' perception of them (IOW, we all think we look hot, LOL, this is more of a subjective thing). There have been quite a few studies on this, based on actual resulting relationships.
Extreme imbalances in looks can and do happen but often have another element, i.e. "he made me laugh" or something less sweet, like "I'm old and rich and she makes me look good and makes other dudes jealous of me...I know she'd leave me in 2 seconds if I didn't have money but whatever."
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