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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,951,955 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by moneymkt
It's not a common question if we haven't met face to face yet.
Of course it is. It's common small talk discussion before deciding to meet, along with interests in music and cuisine. It's just trying to find out if you have stuff in common. That's all. No biggie.
Dating for most of us was/is a way to meet someone you may want to spend your life with. But I do realize that not all feel this way in today's much changed society. Some posters are vehemently defending their own notions of what should be proper dating expectations, while others are simply stating the obvious facts with regard to long standing etiquette forms.
All the consternation over dating is a pretty good indicator of it's becoming a sore subject for many. Today our society seems to be a vastly different place from the one I remember from my youth, back then dating was the prelude for a more meaningful relation to develop, whereas now we see dating as a more casual thing, and for many, a whimsical exercise in sexual pursuit. I'm not moralizing, merely observing.
For men, dating means you will ask a woman to accompany you to an event, a dinner out, and yes even a first meeting kind of get together, but it still is pretty normal for men to pay whatever the cost of doing any of that adds up to be. My first post was a personal view of today's men complaining about the cost of dating, my view is that the man shouldn't be dating if he can't foot the bill for a dinner out, or if he can't find the energy to shave shower and comb that pile of bed head hair we see all too often in the public spaces.
The proliferation of foreign women coming here to marry their American man serves to demonstrate the extent that some men have gone to in order to have a woman in their life. Conversely, we don't see many American women looking online for their future significant other, this is a telling fact, and it tells us of a situation in which many men have given up on American woman, for anything. A destitute woman from the third world sees a poor man in America as a real prize, no expensive dating for these men, no getting in shape either, and if you are totally unpleasant--Oh well...
It's not a common question if we haven't met face to face yet.
You're wrong. I often discuss shared interests with women I've met via OLD and travel is very important to some people. (I might even add to my OLD profile that I love to travel and have my passport ready, that could be a plus!) I see absolutely nothing at all odd about being asked if you have a passport, although asking about your travel interests seems a more natural way to find out.
Dating for most of us was/is a way to meet someone you may want to spend your life with. But I do realize that not all feel this way in today's much changed society. Some posters are vehemently defending their own notions of what should be proper dating expectations, while others are simply stating the obvious facts with regard to long standing etiquette forms.
All the consternation over dating is a pretty good indicator of it's becoming a sore subject for many. Today our society seems to be a vastly different place from the one I remember from my youth, back then dating was the prelude for a more meaningful relation to develop, whereas now we see dating as a more casual thing, and for many, a whimsical exercise in sexual pursuit. I'm not moralizing, merely observing.
For men, dating means you will ask a woman to accompany you to an event, a dinner out, and yes even a first meeting kind of get together, but it still is pretty normal for men to pay whatever the cost of doing any of that adds up to be. My first post was a personal view of today's men complaining about the cost of dating, my view is that the man shouldn't be dating if he can't foot the bill for a dinner out, or if he can't find the energy to shave shower and comb that pile of bed head hair we see all too often in the public spaces.
The proliferation of foreign women coming here to marry their American man serves to demonstrate the extent that some men have gone to in order to have a woman in their life. Conversely, we don't see many American women looking online for their future significant other, this is a telling fact, and it tells us of a situation in which many men have given up on American woman, for anything. A destitute woman from the third world sees a poor man in America as a real prize, no expensive dating for these men, no getting in shape either, and if you are totally unpleasant--Oh well...
Interesting, and agreed. I don't see people who are in lifelong relationships or "working on it" as not being ABLE to have what I have: The enjoyment of living alone. This is a new thing for me relatively, as I was "able to keep a man" for 20 years.
When people are unhappy and struggling, that's when they need help and encouragement.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,699 posts, read 41,733,093 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by jertheber
Dating for most of us was/is a way to meet someone you may want to spend your life with. But I do realize that not all feel this way in today's much changed society. Some posters are vehemently defending their own notions of what should be proper dating expectations, while others are simply stating the obvious facts with regard to long standing etiquette forms.
All the consternation over dating is a pretty good indicator of it's becoming a sore subject for many. Today our society seems to be a vastly different place from the one I remember from my youth, back then dating was the prelude for a more meaningful relation to develop, whereas now we see dating as a more casual thing, and for many, a whimsical exercise in sexual pursuit. I'm not moralizing, merely observing.
For men, dating means you will ask a woman to accompany you to an event, a dinner out, and yes even a first meeting kind of get together, but it still is pretty normal for men to pay whatever the cost of doing any of that adds up to be. My first post was a personal view of today's men complaining about the cost of dating, my view is that the man shouldn't be dating if he can't foot the bill for a dinner out, or if he can't find the energy to shave shower and comb that pile of bed head hair we see all too often in the public spaces.
The proliferation of foreign women coming here to marry their American man serves to demonstrate the extent that some men have gone to in order to have a woman in their life. Conversely, we don't see many American women looking online for their future significant other, this is a telling fact, and it tells us of a situation in which many men have given up on American woman, for anything. A destitute woman from the third world sees a poor man in America as a real prize, no expensive dating for these men, no getting in shape either, and if you are totally unpleasant--Oh well...
How many times must this be explained to people?! The ABILITY to pay isn’t the issue, the EXPECTATION to pay is the damn issue just because by default men have to ask women out. Since we are two strangers meeting, I don’t know why we just can’t cover our OWN plates or do Dutch? What right does a woman have to expect me to pay for her damn dinner just because I asked her out?! If she wasn’t interested she could have just said no and not waste my time.
All the consternation over dating is a pretty good indicator of it's becoming a sore subject for many. Today our society seems to be a vastly different place from the one I remember from my youth, back then dating was the prelude for a more meaningful relation to develop, whereas now we see dating as a more casual thing, and for many, a whimsical exercise in sexual pursuit. I'm not moralizing, merely observing.
Does this imply that when you were younger that people dated others who they already knew to some extent? Otherwise, how can dating be anything other than casual in the beginning? Maybe today people are sucked into their work and smartphones that we don't really know anyone and have to use dating just to meet/introduce new people. (just asking)
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damn issue just because by default men have to ask women out. Since we are two strangers meeting, I don’t know why we just can’t cover our OWN plates or do Dutch? What right does a woman have to expect me to pay for her damn dinner just because I asked her out?! If she wasn’t interested she could have just said no and not waste my time. 
