The dating age "line" ??? (marriage, guys, love, college)

[picardlx]

Didn't read whole thread, so I'm sorry if discussion has already evolved from title.

But why even tread the 'line' at all?

Personally, I feel disgusted when I see 18-19 year-old in sexy clothes because in mind they are still kids (probably dumb kids). If after a micro glance, my brain estimates 24 or under, I look away.

[Rocko20]

Originally Posted by chicagodude.1984

I'm 34 single,


Last weekend at a coworker's party, I was approached by a young woman I thought was in her 20's turns out she JUST turned 18 she wanted to "hook up" and "See where it goes".......


I politely turned her down, Cause I'm not one of "those" guys who's into younger women/teens


Yes, she was legal blah blah blah, But I get creeped out just by the idea of it. To me anyone under "25ish" is just a kid and have NOTHING in common with my interests or my current stage in life.


Is this normal or am I just a picky prude ?? lol

Sorry I’m not buying it my friend. Random 18 year old women don’t approach random men to ask if they want to hook up. In all my life I’ve never seen this happen.

[cell jin]

Originally Posted by picardlx

Didn't read whole thread, so I'm sorry if discussion has already evolved from title.

But why even tread the 'line' at all?

Personally, I feel disgusted when I see 18-19 year-old in sexy clothes because in mind they are still kids (probably dumb kids). If after a micro glance, my brain estimates 24 or under, I look away.

A lot of women even in their 30s look younger than 24 at first glance. If men over 30 started following this rule, all these women would have to date younger men.

[TaoistDude]

Once I graduated college, I wouldn't date anyone who hadn't reached the age at which they did, too - or would have.

The old dating age rule of thumb still seems pretty good: youngest = half your age, plus 7. Well, at least until they're 30 or more, and then they should be able to make their own decisions about who they date.

[ComeCloser]

There is no right or wrong answer, OP. You are entitled to a preference.

A younger partner is a lot of work. They don't have your life experience. Some lessons we must all learn for ourselves, no matter how much we are told 'the fire is hot' some of us need to put our hand in the fire at least once to see what everyone is talking about.

When I was 18 an older man approached me. I didn't know he was as old as he was because he wouldn't tell me exactly, and his answers ranged from 24 to 36, lol. 24 seemed acceptable to me, while 36 wouldn't be. By the time I learned he was 32, I was smitten. It didn't matter. He had taken me places I had never been, and shown me things I had never seen, and never would see with someone my own age.

He had to put up with the pitfalls of waiting for me to catch up to him. I can certainly understand someone thinking, "No way!"

[greenvillebuckeye]

Age is just a number (make sure its a legal number). Have had relationships that were positive with women 10 years younger than I, some 10 years or older than I and some my own age. Depends on where they are in life. I'm 37, there are some bizarre 37 year olds out there just as there are some totally sane 24 year olds. What are you looking for plus what are they looking for and be happy.

[grad_student200]

Originally Posted by chicagodude.1984

I'm 34 single,


Last weekend at a coworker's party, I was approached by a young woman I thought was in her 20's turns out she JUST turned 18 she wanted to "hook up" and "See where it goes".......


I politely turned her down, Cause I'm not one of "those" guys who's into younger women/teens


Yes, she was legal blah blah blah, But I get creeped out just by the idea of it. To me anyone under "25ish" is just a kid and have NOTHING in common with my interests or my current stage in life.


Is this normal or am I just a picky prude ?? lol

Agreed. This is how I felt in Tallahassee. I was in my mid 30s one year just driving out of a parking lot near the college campus. These four drunk FSU college girls saw me and tried to jump into my truck. They were wasted and lost all their inhibitions - like 'girls gone wild'. It would most likely be a dream come true for the average undergraduate guy at a mostly male school (e.g. Georgia Tech, a military academy, Cal Tech, etc). But I just drove off. I saw it as a huge mismatch and a recipe for trouble. The same thing happened at a college basketball game a few years ago - these college girls sitting right next to me were drunk and getting flirty with beer all over their breath. I just left the game at halftime.

[Sassybluesy]

Originally Posted by cell jin

Again, if you found men 30 and up so unattractive when you were 19, then why do you find them attractive now? Are you just trying to be obtuse? We grow up. That's why.
Did your taste in men just conveniently change as you gor older to suit what society sees as age appropriate? I think a few things happened. As I got older, I got more mature, at least in some aspects. I can still think a guy is hot, handsome, etc., but I don't think we'd necessarily make a good couple. Plus...I don't think a 30 something guy would be sexually interested in a 60 yr. old woman.


Or do you still find men over 30 unattractive but feel obligated to date them because of your age? I'm double the age of a 30 yr. old now. So...no, I don't find 30 yr. olds unattractive now. Some...quite the opposite.

The idea that women's tastes in men just magically change to suit their age just doesn't make sense to me. I would actually be more likely to believe that all women at all ages find men over 30 unattractive and that older women are just more likely to date someone they aren't attracted to tbh.

Haha ha! Well, I'm over 60 now, and a good looking guy is a good looking guy. Yes, most of those good looking guys are younger than me at this point in life. But I think Sam Elliott is hot.

[Sonic_Spork]

I'm trying to wrap my head around your position, cell jin, it's honestly a bit of a struggle. But I wonder if I'm getting any closer to "getting it"...

So at one point I made some remark about men finding teen women (hopefully legal age ones) very attractive, I think we'd just watched Lolita and we were discussing it, and he responded to something in that flavor of talk, with, "I think that is ALL men." Implying that for all or most or at least some very significant number of men, if they could wave a magic wand and have a partner who looks peak hotness to their eyeballs, she'd be probably looking like a 16-19 year old.

And frankly from a ton of guys I've heard from, looks are the first and most significant factor of attraction, though we do have men who are exceptions to that and who will say that intellect and charisma and other things matter a lot.

My boyfriend was implying that even if men don't want to admit it (and likely wouldn't act on it, for practical reasons), at any age they'd like to be poinking a kid. That really put me off, to be honest, but I won't get all into it.

You seem to be implying that it's odd, that as a woman grows older, the age range she finds attractive could shift. You appear to be saying that no, in fact, she's just settling for who she is "supposed to" like but really each of us has a fixed ideal (as men do?) of what we consider attractive. No?

Are you trying to make it less unacceptable for a man to admire 18 year old girls at 30, by saying that women's attraction probably operates the same way, only we are conditioned to lie about it? Or am I completely misreading your line of questioning?

Maybe if you spelled out your theory instead of tiptoeing around it with inquiries and implications, that might help?

But I can only speak for myself, I find it pointless to speak for other people since (as you said) we are not mind readers. For one thing, as I have grown older, my concept of what the world "old" means has changed. And it has shifted upwards at a pace faster than my own aging, I think. At age 14-18 which was the first span of time that I was sexually active, a man was too old if he was out of his 20's. Under 30 was acceptable. I mostly was with other teenagers, but there were a few 20-somethings in there, too during that time of my life. Then at 18 I got locked into a relationship with a then-29 year old. It was hell, but I hung in there for 18 years with him. So then at 36 I popped back into the dating world when we broke up, and put myself out there online, on OKC. The most common age of man trying to reach me there, was 27. It was to the point where I was like, "Oh. Another 27 year old." Guys in their 20's were very, very into me for some reason, I assumed they were just trying to get laid though. The age range that seemed to attract me the most was mid-40's to early 60's.

At 18, I would not have even considered a man who was 50 years old...and 60? Ew, that's like grandpa age, gross! At 36, I dated a 62 year old briefly and found him very attractive, and the man I ended up partnered to was 20 years older than me at age 56 then... Now, at age 39, "old" is like in one's 80's. End of life stages old. That's what "old" looks like to me.

And I remember when I was in my 20's the celebrities I was noticing were all around 40, and I was thinking then that 40 year old guys are in their absolute prime, just sexy as all get out.

I have not been into younger guys much ever. I have had a strong preference for men who were older, increasingly older, as I've gotten older. I do not have a static model in my brain of what a hot guy looks like, that hasn't changed.

But then my interest isn't all about looks either. Though I do really like silvering hair. Boyfriend has full dark hair going silver at the temples and I think that's very sexy. At 18 though, he would have looked too old for me.

So I'm saying that men (all/most/many/some/a few/whatever) MIGHT fixate on the 18 year old gal as being the hottest possible specimen and carry that notion with them all their days, but women are not likely to do that.

But I do think that younger guys hooking up with women in their 30's is a thing, because young guys can be pretty horny and I think that most women who get divorced, do so in our 30's, and newly divorced women are more likely than usual to be down for a good time. We've just been locked in what probably became a miserable, boring, and unloving situation, so for a little bit once we get free, some of us go kinda wild. That's why one of the more prolific players I've ever known, chases women who put in their OLD profile that they are barely divorced.

Also though there's a difference between who one finds "hot" and who one might want a bit of fun with, and who one is willing to actually PARTNER with...at least if one is halfway intelligent. My boyfriend might find 18 year old girls hot to look at, but he would not try to share life with someone who in many ways is still a child (mentally.)

[CGab]

At 34, would you even have anything in common with an 18 yr old? I don't think I would.