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Old 08-25-2018, 12:38 AM
 
748 posts, read 817,924 times
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I think it's cute, as long as they aren't expecting a lot of valuables in the presents. It's the thought that counts.
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Old 08-25-2018, 04:01 AM
 
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I remember posting in an old thread wherein a woman was a bit hurt and surprised that her relatively new boyfriend had completely and totally ignored V Day, no gifts, no mention, nothing. She was confused and had apparently expected or assumed he would go all out.

When asked what she ended up doing with all the candy and whatever lovey dovey stuff she'd gotten for him, she said that she'd gotten nothing for him and the thought of buying him a gift had never occurred to her.
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Old 08-25-2018, 04:20 AM
 
Location: PA
2,113 posts, read 2,400,009 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ View Post
Oh, no. Oh God.

Oh well, I'll play. I'm a woman and I love to *give* presents. I love to pick up little treats for my husband and kids when I'm out. As for holidays, we give and get about equally. Last VD I sent a bonsai to my husband's office and got him good chocolates. He got me pretty flowers in a color he knew I'd love, and chocolates.

I expect love and attention on special days but not a specific type of gift. I guess my love language is being acknowledged.

With that said I'll step back and watch the hysteria about how every single woman demands "perfume," chocolates, jewelry and lobster because we're entitled and hypocritical and so on. In T minus three...two...
Funny you should mention the love languages because I scored equally on acts of service and words of affirmation. I am very independent, but I would rather have my SO do the grocery shopping or the laundry than buy me anything LOL. I have way too much crap in this house and I don't need more. I am the one that buys HIM things, just to see the way his face lights up when he opens the package. I also do not care about the "traditional" gifts for women, like flowers and jewelry. I would not be the least bit mad if I got a gift card to Home Depot or to an art supply store. But that is how we do.

ETA: Funny story: For my 40th birthday my ex fiancé got me a bag of pork rinds. It could always be worse LOL.
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Old 08-25-2018, 07:24 AM
 
2,949 posts, read 1,348,299 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BobCaldwell View Post
I remember posting in an old thread wherein a woman was a bit hurt and surprised that her relatively new boyfriend had completely and totally ignored V Day, no gifts, no mention, nothing. She was confused and had apparently expected or assumed he would go all out.

When asked what she ended up doing with all the candy and whatever lovey dovey stuff she'd gotten for him, she said that she'd gotten nothing for him and the thought of buying him a gift had never occurred to her.


How selfish and one-sided.


I personally prefer acts of kindness and consideration over material gifts or things. And, the door swings both ways. Do nice and kind things for your partner, always and often. Doesn't it feel good to know someone thinks enough about you to want to bring you joy and put a smile in your heart.
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Old 08-25-2018, 07:59 AM
 
7,759 posts, read 3,856,140 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BobCaldwell View Post
I remember posting in an old thread wherein a woman was a bit hurt and surprised that her relatively new boyfriend had completely and totally ignored V Day, no gifts, no mention, nothing. She was confused and had apparently expected or assumed he would go all out.

When asked what she ended up doing with all the candy and whatever lovey dovey stuff she'd gotten for him, she said that she'd gotten nothing for him and the thought of buying him a gift had never occurred to her.
This is why I say Western society is completely dysfunctional and everything is skewed. In Asia they have 2 V-Days. One for Men and one for Women.
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Old 08-25-2018, 08:36 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,125 posts, read 107,362,581 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BobCaldwell View Post
I remember posting in an old thread wherein a woman was a bit hurt and surprised that her relatively new boyfriend had completely and totally ignored V Day, no gifts, no mention, nothing. She was confused and had apparently expected or assumed he would go all out.

When asked what she ended up doing with all the candy and whatever lovey dovey stuff she'd gotten for him, she said that she'd gotten nothing for him and the thought of buying him a gift had never occurred to her.
So if she starts dating someone in December, or meets someone at a New Year's party, and they start dating, by V-day he's on the hook for a romantic gesture? He may not even know if he's that into her, yet. SHE may not know yet, if she's into him. Obviously, she wasn't that into him (yet), because it didn't cross her mind to make a V-day gesture.
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Old 08-25-2018, 09:37 AM
 
Location: Crook County, Hellinois
5,820 posts, read 3,848,399 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ View Post
With that said I'll step back and watch the hysteria about how every single woman demands "perfume," chocolates, jewelry and lobster because we're entitled and hypocritical and so on. In T minus three...two...
one...

Well, think about it. Stereotypically, men in LTR's/marriages are required to provide a laundry list of presents every year. Now, I understand that there some non-mainstream relationships, like Sonic_Spork's. But I'm talking about the LTR "rules" society pushes down on people, to help what I call "the relationship industry". Here they are, in no particular order.
1. Christmas/Hanukkah
2. Birthday
3. Valentine's Day
4. Sweetest Day
6. Wedding anniversary
7. "Just because" (1 or more)
8. "Get out of the dog house" gift (1 or more)

Christmas/Hanukkah and birthday are mutual. But most other occasions are mostly one-sided: from man to woman. And woe be to the man who forgets one! Now, it's not too hard to put in gift reminders on my Outlook calendar at work, and program it to send me a reminder text (which I can promptly delete). But it's not right that I have to do it, while my hypothetical wife/girlfriend doesn't.

Last edited by MillennialUrbanist; 08-25-2018 at 09:49 AM..
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Old 08-25-2018, 09:55 AM
 
Location: Crook County, Hellinois
5,820 posts, read 3,848,399 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tencent View Post
This is why I say Western society is completely dysfunctional and everything is skewed. In Asia they have 2 V-Days. One for Men and one for Women.
Russia too, interestingly. The women's one is International Women's Day (which America is starting to embrace, it seems). The men's one started as a military recognition day; but since Russia has compulsory army service for all young men, it evolved into men's Valentine's Day over time. Very fair and progressive, I'd say. And we consider them to be our enemy, with Cold War 2.0 brewing nowadays.
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Old 08-25-2018, 10:02 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,125 posts, read 107,362,581 times
Reputation: 115942
Quote:
Originally Posted by MillennialUrbanist View Post
one...

Well, think about it. Stereotypically, men in LTR's/marriages are required to provide a laundry list of presents every year. Now, I understand that there some non-mainstream relationships, like Sonic_Spork's. But I'm talking about the LTR "rules" society pushes down on people, to help what I call "the relationship industry". Here they are, in no particular order.
1. Christmas/Hanukkah
2. Birthday
3. Valentine's Day
4. Sweetest Day
6. Wedding anniversary
7. "Just because" (1 or more)
8. "Get out of the dog house" gift (1 or more)

Christmas/Hanukkah and birthday are mutual. But most other occasions are mostly one-sided: from man to woman. And woe be to the man who forgets one! Now, it's not too hard to put in gift reminders on my Outlook calendar at work, and program it to send me a reminder text (which I can promptly delete). But it's not right that I have to do it, while my hypothetical wife/girlfriend doesn't.
This sounds like you got it from a MGTOW blog.

What's "Sweetest Day"?

"Just because"? You object to a couple surprising each other with "just because" gifts? Men love them, too.

Don't get in the doghouse, and you won't have to shovel and grovel your way out. You'll never even have to think about it. The whole man-in-the-doghouse meme went out with the 50's, except for egregious cases, like Billie-boy and the Lewinsky case. He said he was sleeping on the couch for weeks, after that. IDK how he finally made it out of that doghouse. Don't let it happen to you, and you'll be fine.

Men get presents on Winter-Holiday-Of-Choice, and on their birthdays, too. Is that a terrible burden for women? Do women avoid marriage, because of the crushing prospect of having to remember their loved one (to whom they joyfully commit for life) on a few special days out of the year?

Mill-Urb, you really should engage your critical thinking skills, when you read nonsense on the internet. Or better yet, don't even visit sites that you know are full of nonsense.
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Old 08-25-2018, 10:29 AM
 
Location: Crook County, Hellinois
5,820 posts, read 3,848,399 times
Reputation: 8123
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
What's "Sweetest Day"?
It's a regional holiday, observed in the Midwest and western Appalachia, on the third Saturday in October.

It started in 1921, due to the lobby of confectionery companies. It originally wasn't meant to be romantic, and instead was meant to bring simple joys to orphans, elderly, and the poor. But over time, it became Valentine's Day 2.0. It's also an easy excuse for the single and the jaded to buy cheap candy the day after.

Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sweetest_Day
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