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Hi! I have currently been dating my boyfriend for 10 months now and we are pretty serious. Since the beginning, we have been dating long distance and have had little to know problem with that because we were merely 4 hours away and saw each other at least once a month. He got his orders and has to move to the west coast in the near future so we will soon be 3,000 miles away instead of 300. I am the emotional one in the relationship, where as he showcases his emotions to acts or physicalities like cuddling or a hug. So I have been training myself for whats to come; the less time, the distance, and his stoic behavior, but what ways have you guys kept a relationship like this going? I want to not only give myself the support to be strong, but also I want to learn how to be a support system for him.
In what ways have you kept a connect with your SO who is stationed?
And did you and your SO have a plan? And how did this plan go about because personally for me, a plan has been hard for us to establish because he does not know for sure how everything will go, or any dates he knows for sure I could potentially visit.
Hope to hear from someone soon! I would love to heard about people who understand what I am going through!
If you two are not serious enough for you to consider moving with him(and probably marrying him) my advice is to give him one heck of a send off and enjoy the memories. Relationships that are not developed enough to go to the "next level" do not tend to survive new assignments, especially when that much distance is involved.
Hi! I have currently been dating my boyfriend for 10 months now and we are pretty serious. Since the beginning, we have been dating long distance and have had little to know problem with that because we were merely 4 hours away and saw each other at least once a month. He got his orders and has to move to the west coast in the near future so we will soon be 3,000 miles away instead of 300. I am the emotional one in the relationship, where as he showcases his emotions to acts or physicalities like cuddling or a hug. So I have been training myself for whats to come; the less time, the distance, and his stoic behavior, but what ways have you guys kept a relationship like this going? I want to not only give myself the support to be strong, but also I want to learn how to be a support system for him.
In what ways have you kept a connect with your SO who is stationed?
And did you and your SO have a plan? And how did this plan go about because personally for me, a plan has been hard for us to establish because he does not know for sure how everything will go, or any dates he knows for sure I could potentially visit.
Hope to hear from someone soon! I would love to heard about people who understand what I am going through!
XO
You probably will get better advice on a military SO support forum like this:
If you two are not serious enough for you to consider moving with him(and probably marrying him) my advice is to give him one heck of a send off and enjoy the memories. Relationships that are not developed enough to go to the "next level" do not tend to survive new assignments, especially when that much distance is involved.
We have talk about me moving in a year or two, so we would only have to deal with this huge distance till I am stable and find a job.
What is normally done when a serviceman gets long distance transfers is that the very serious girlfriend marries him and goes with him. If he doesn't want to do that, he isn't all that serious about your relationship and you should prepare to say goodbye.
Whatever you do, do not move across the country with him as his shack-up campfollower.
If the two of you are married, the military pays to move both of you and you will get a housing allowance, he will get increased pay, and he can get permission to live off base.
If you just follow him around, you pay for your own move, you pay for your own housing, he might be required to live in the barracks....
Can you understand why guys in the military don't drag girlfriends around with them? They marry the women they want to spend their life with. If he doesn't want to marry you, you aren't the one.
What is normally done when a serviceman gets long distance transfers is that the very serious girlfriend marries him and goes with him. If he doesn't want to do that, he isn't all that serious about your relationship and you should prepare to say goodbye.
Whatever you do, do not move across the country with him as his shack-up campfollower.
If the two of you are married, the military pays to move both of you and you will get a housing allowance, he will get increased pay, and he can get permission to live off base.
If you just follow him around, you pay for your own move, you pay for your own housing, he might be required to live in the barracks....
Can you understand why guys in the military don't drag girlfriends around with them? They marry the women they want to spend their life with. If he doesn't want to marry you, you aren't the one.
I'm sure you know a lot more than I do about the life a military person lives through and what their SO does as well. My boyfriend is the first person I am truly connected to in my life that has been in the military. That being said, most of our decisions have been based on what I've wanted and him thinking not only about himself and his career, but also about the aspects in my life that i've told him are important to me. He knows that my career is important and knows that marriage early in life wasn't something I was planning, so yes we don't plan on getting married, but I don't think that says anything about what he feels about me. I'm not the typical gal looking for a man who is the main caregiver, I've always had my goals clearly geared towards my own future and my career, but life made me meet my boyfriend who I fell in love with without even planning to, and things are changing for me, which is why things are a whirlwind because I am trying to figure out where my life is truly heading...
Thank you for your well meant opinion, but i'm looking for advice on how to deal with it, not whether or not we should be together.
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