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Old 08-28-2018, 06:30 AM
 
271 posts, read 156,525 times
Reputation: 74

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Quote:
Originally Posted by turf3 View Post
Well, then, go down to the JP, get married, fully commingle your finances, make wills leaving everything you own to each other, make each other the beneficiaries on all your insurance policies/bank accounts/retirement accounts, and live that way for a couple years, then you will be able to assess whether you are REALLY emotionally and financially ready to make a child.

my boyfriend already has a life insurance policy and i am the one who's name is written on it.
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Old 08-28-2018, 06:32 AM
 
271 posts, read 156,525 times
Reputation: 74
Quote:
Originally Posted by rrah View Post
I don't think you two are ready to have a child together. If you can't talk to him about this, that is a big sign that neither of you should consider being parents together right now.

I also sense some jealousy on your part which isn't a good thing. Will you be jealous when he spends time and gushes over a child?

I also sense some void in your life that you think a baby will fill. While children do bring lots of joy into one's life, filling a void isn't a great reason to want to be a parent. Many days the joy is minimal and the work of being a parent is overwhelming.

Just a guess, but the sister's baby wasn't planned. Your boyfriend is wise enough to understand and want to be in a good place emotionally and financially before he has a child. He's also very young.
i'm not sure if his sisters baby was planned or not, his sister actually got married whilst pregnant which was a bit strange.
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Old 08-28-2018, 06:34 AM
 
Location: Florida
23,155 posts, read 26,081,154 times
Reputation: 27887
Gushing over someone elses baby for a few minutes is a far cry from living with one full time that you're responsible for.
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Old 08-28-2018, 06:37 AM
 
271 posts, read 156,525 times
Reputation: 74
anyway, my boyfriend has 2 years and counting. in august 2020 im going to bring up us having a child, i'm going to plead my case with him and see what he says. im going to tell him its all that i really want.

at this point, we will have been together for 7 years.

he can't keep on putting it off.
but i can wait another 2 years, to really argue my case.
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Old 08-28-2018, 06:38 AM
Status: "Mistress of finance and foods." (set 27 days ago)
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
50,085 posts, read 63,455,214 times
Reputation: 92686
Quote:
Originally Posted by turf3 View Post
Have you maybe, just maybe, considered not having a baby unless you are MARRIED, with a real high degree of confidence that you will stay married?
Thank goodness, somebody finally said it.
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Old 08-28-2018, 06:40 AM
 
271 posts, read 156,525 times
Reputation: 74
Quote:
Originally Posted by old_cold View Post
Gushing over someone elses baby for a few minutes is a far cry from living with one full time that you're responsible for.
yes i know that, but me and my boyfriend have been together for 5 years now. his sister and her boyfriend were only together for less than a year before having a baby.

why do things have to be so difficult for me and my boyfriend? other couples just have a baby at the click of the fingers... i didn't sign up to wait until the end of eternity.

we would be responsible. we are already very responsible in our everyday lifes, our relationship could improve a little, but whats the point if were never going to meet any milestones together... never going to get married or have a child? Why should i make the effort? I've already been making the effort for the past 5 years and nothing will ever change

my boyfriend would make an excellent parent, he would put our child above and beyond everything else. he would be an excellent role model and provider for the child.

i just find it unfair that my boyfriend never even considers us having a child. why is that???

Last edited by palmtrees099; 08-28-2018 at 06:51 AM..
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Old 08-28-2018, 06:41 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,655,659 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by palmtrees099 View Post
anyway, my boyfriend has 2 years and counting. in august 2020 im going to bring up us having a child, i'm going to plead my case with him and see what he says. im going to tell him its all that i really want.

at this point, we will have been together for 7 years.

he can't keep on putting it off.
but i can wait another 2 years, to really argue my case.
This is not how it works.
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Old 08-28-2018, 06:44 AM
 
271 posts, read 156,525 times
Reputation: 74
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
This is not how it works.
well i can't see having a child is ever going to be a consideration in the present time. i might as well build up to asking him 2 years from now, by that time i will have built up a lot of resentment and i will have an even stronger argument to prove my case
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Old 08-28-2018, 06:47 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,655,659 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by palmtrees099 View Post
well i can't see having a child is ever going to be a consideration in the present time. i might as well build up to asking him 2 years from now, by that time i will have built up a lot of resentment and i will have an even stronger argument to prove my case
Ah, yes, the perfect recipe for lasting love and effective parenting ... resentment, arguments and ultimatums.

Do you not want to be with someone who WANTS YOU? And who wants a future with you?

You shouldn't wait 2 years. You shouldn't wait 2 weeks. Your boyfriend is a jerk to you, and you sit there and take it.

What's wrong with you, really?
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Old 08-28-2018, 06:48 AM
 
271 posts, read 156,525 times
Reputation: 74
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
Ah, yes, the perfect recipe for lasting love and effective parenting ... resentment, arguments and ultimatums.

Do you not want to be with someone who WANTS YOU? And who wants a future with you?

You shouldn't wait 2 years. You shouldn't wait 2 weeks. Your boyfriend is a jerk to you, and you sit there and take it.

What's wrong with you, really?
i want a future with him. ive already been waiting 5 years. hes the only one i want a future with.
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