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To me that sounds more like they are not one the same page with someone and that person wants to make it seem like they are the problem.
I don't believe its possible for only one person to be the problem in a relationship. Whatever the so called "fault", it will be someone else's cup off tea.
For instance, some women feel I'm too attentive, while others feel I'm emotionally unavailable. So it seems like its more about personal taste.
So does emotionally unavailable just mean: "We are not on the same page and its YOUR fault"?
No, it has an actual meaning, which has been posted here already.
A person can still be attentive but emotionally unavailable, tending to come on strong at first but then end up being unable to sustain something long term because they cannot connect emotionally.
No, it has an actual meaning, which has been posted here already.
A person can still be attentive but emotionally unavailable, tending to come on strong at first but then end up being unable to sustain something long term because they cannot connect emotionally.
Is there such a thing as people who cannot connect emotionally? Maybe they just connect differently than the other person or in a way the other person doesn't like.
Did you read the link an earlier poster shared? It's quite informative. It is spelled out in pretty comprehensible language.
The link does not provide a clear solid definition. The link basically just defines it as "someone who doesn't treat you right". That can't be the definition.
The link does not provide a clear solid definition. The link basically just defines it as "someone who doesn't treat you right". That can't be the definition.
Perhaps the problem isn't with the linked article.
ETA: Try this resource. See if you recognize yourself in the descriptions.
If I couldn't pick up on any reactions from someone I was romantically interested in: Joy, Anger, Sorrow, Fear, Relief...etc., I would say that he is emotionally unavailable. With me last SO, I labled the attitude he had (not out loud) as Emotionally Constipated. I believe he wasn't allowing himself to fully feel everything. Kind of on guard. I know he had his reasons, but how does one make the other "get over it"? I.E.: If I said I was leaving in the morning. Forever. He would have said: "Well, if that's what you've decided." His emotions didn't seem available for me to react to, examine, share.
Sometimes I'm emotionally unavailable. Especially after I've tried too hard to make something work.
I love my girlfriend. I'm not someone who is going to coddle someone's every whim on their demand. I simply don't care about a lot of the small things in life, and would rather do my own thing. I definitely get the unavailable or distant labels a lot.
If I couldn't pick up on any reactions from someone I was romantically interested in: Joy, Anger, Sorrow, Fear, Relief...etc., I would say that he is emotionally unavailable. With me last SO, I labled the attitude he had (not out loud) as Emotionally Constipated. I believe he wasn't allowing himself to fully feel everything. Kind of on guard. I know he had his reasons, but how does one make the other "get over it"? I.E.: If I said I was leaving in the morning. Forever. He would have said: "Well, if that's what you've decided." His emotions didn't seem available for me to react to, examine, share.
Sometimes I'm emotionally unavailable. Especially after I've tried too hard to make something work.
Its possible that with another woman, his behavior would of been perfectly fine or even sexy. That's why I suspect it might be more about personal taste and less about one person being "wrong" in some way.
I've noticed for some women, your willingness to spend time with them and have sex with them means more than your emotional reactions to various random events or conversations. Maybe people need to be emotionally compatible.
I love my girlfriend. I'm not someone who is going to coddle someone's every whim on their demand. I simply don't care about a lot of the small things in life, and would rather do my own thing. I definitely get the unavailable or distant labels a lot.
Yeah I think most secure women don't have a problem with this. Some women need constant attention and reassurance or else you are "emotionally unavailable". I've never had the energy or inclination for that level of co-dependency. I've always been very independent too.
I'm emotionally unavailable from time to time. It doesn't have to do with my husband, it comes from inside myself.
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