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I don't like the idea that his age and never married status are the issues. Maybe he hasn't met the right one. I sure haven't! Yet... I hope. Lol. The issue is age/ marital status AND all the other issues.
The never been married is not an issue as far as I'm concerned. Being supported and taken care of by Mommy nearly 30 years after one should have become independent is a big issue. Huge. Unless a woman is happy to take over where Mommy left off, she should steer clear.
I'm surprised (not even slightly) that this thread seems designed solely to ridicule a man who defies societal expectations. Because surely had we all said the OP should grab this tall hunk of handsomeness she would have, so it's really about wanting us to vote and all.
My sarcasm is a little out of control today, but this crap gets old. Women don't like guys who live with mom, but apparently they do like pro athletes. The things I learn here.
Societal expectations? A 47 year old who has not yet managed to become a functional adult has issues of some sort. Would you want to partner up with such a person?
Can't you ask the guy these questions? If its on such a personal level that hes asking to spend the night, you sure as heck can ask some personal questions.
Why does he still live with his mom?
Has he thought of moving out?
Why doesn't he own a car?
What else has he done for work?
Does he support himself financially?
And anything else you wonder. I understand you want to survey this public forum to get a sense for this guy but really the best answers is going to come from the guy.
Btw I personally would not be bothered by someone who is lives at home with the mom (very economical and they probably both benefit from the company). Nor someone who plays video games. Like other people mentioned he could be on this forum all day long or watching porn. Plus most people who truly do nothing but play video games and stay home all day tend to put on a lot of weight. But you say he's in good shape. So there could be more to the story.
For all you know this guy could have developed an IT software that he sold for millions and is now working part time for fun and living a low key life with his lonely mother who gets a kick out of cooking. Maybe don't write him off just yet.
But if you don't want him coming over to spend the night, say so.
Not owning a car is a red flag. Can he safely drive a car? He may be very low income and not able to afford car ownership.
Maybe/maybe not.
A relative of mine who has epilepsy had to stop driving in his 30s...seizures. He still doesn't drive and he's in his 50s.
BUT if the guy has never owned a car, might be bad credit or relies on people to take him everywhere and public transportation. But most people who can drive prefer to have a car...even if it's a beater.
Like a few others, I suspect he's unemployed. If you want to see him again, find out when and where he last earned steady paychecks.
I think you need give it some time and find out who he really is. It is easy for everyone to assume something is wrong with a 47 year old living at home. There are legitimate concerns. Is he financially independent? Big question. Maybe Mom does the laundry but what does he do for his mother? How does he treat you? Would he be willing to dump the video games and pay more attention to you and other things? I would be careful and try to get to know him enough to find out if he is a giver or a taker. It appears to me it would be better if he was a little more driven.
I have four children. One of my sons is quiet and reserved. He is 30 and lives with us. I think he would be a great husband for someone but he is not aggressive and is shy. He is educated and does have a really good job. He has his own car and commutes to work. He lives with us to save money and is really saving. He does do his own laundry and helps us out when we need him. We have told him that one day we may downsize and he will need to buy a house. He won't have any problems being financially independent. He is very handsome and sometimes I think women assume they "won't have a chance" with him so they leave him alone. He probably isn't the rough and tough kind of man most women want. Everyone has a unique life.
I think you need give it some time and find out who he really is. It is easy for everyone to assume something is wrong with a 47 year old living at home. There are legitimate concerns. Is he financially independent? Big question. Maybe Mom does the laundry but what does he do for his mother? How does he treat you? Would he be willing to dump the video games and pay more attention to you and other things? I would be careful and try to get to know him enough to find out if he is a giver or a taker. It appears to me it would be better if he was a little more driven.
I have four children. One of my sons is quiet and reserved. He is 30 and lives with us. I think he would be a great husband for someone but he is not aggressive and is shy. He is educated and does have a really good job. He has his own car and commutes to work. He lives with us to save money and is really saving. He does do his own laundry and helps us out when we need him. We have told him that one day we may downsize and he will need to buy a house. He won't have any problems being financially independent. He is very handsome and sometimes I think women assume they "won't have a chance" with him so they leave him alone. He probably isn't the rough and tough kind of man most women want. Everyone has a unique life.
Thank you for sharing this personal story. You son will find someone who loves him for him.
A guy who can't or won't support himself has no business shopping in Whole Foods.
LOL LOL meanie.
Ok well my two cents is that nowadays there are more American guys who live with their parents into adulthood...and beyond!! There are members of my family like this...And surprisingly girls DO NOT SEEM to MIND. Some of these girls married into our family and also sucked at the paternal teat with their spouses.
Point number two is guess who is probably going to inherit the house? IMO it is OK. Get to know him and find out why he is living at home. Again it seems more normal nowadays, and you may enjoy spending some time with his family...I don't know. It seems like a bad reason to just discard someone you like.
He asked if he can cook me dinner at my place this weekend, and stay overnight. Up until this point we haven't had sex. Just some fooling around. As much as I am attracted to him and enjoy his company, and I am also not comfortable with this.
Check in at the local post office, just to see if his photo is somewhere on their wall.
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