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Old 09-10-2018, 02:11 PM
 
5 posts, read 4,946 times
Reputation: 10

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Harpaint View Post
Before even considering more dates, I'd find out if he has an arrest record. He just seems weird.

Thats seems like a good idea but not sure how to do that. I know I asked if he drank, and he said he drinks socially, and smokes pot "some times". The last guy I dated was a drunk.

 
Old 09-10-2018, 02:14 PM
 
2,483 posts, read 2,466,334 times
Reputation: 3353
Quote:
Originally Posted by Petunia 100 View Post
Maybe his mom is busy and can't drive them on their next date.


I know its unusual setup and most of the time you'd be advised not to pursue.

I'm just thinking of my own experience. My career is flexible enough that I can work from home (probably at reduced pay) if I did consulting too. And if a dear family member had lived longer, I absolutely would have asked him to move-in with me or moved-in with him. In the final years of his life, he was always the 'nominal' head of his household but I lived nearly 1/3 of time at his home -- cleaning, cooking meals, doctors appointments, balancing checkbook, etc anyway.

Also, at first I thought about OP's date playing video games for long periods of time at 47 is a red flag too. But then I thought about it.... In the past year and half, (on average) how many hours a week have I spent on CD/CDr? I then quickly humbled myself.
 
Old 09-10-2018, 02:15 PM
 
Location: Northern California
128,997 posts, read 11,938,836 times
Reputation: 38775
follow your gut.
 
Old 09-10-2018, 02:20 PM
 
1,278 posts, read 1,111,706 times
Reputation: 4004
You said he doesn't own a car. I would be curious about whether that's because he just uses his mom's car and therefore doesn't think he needs his own car or whether there was some other reason why he doesn't have a car. Like for example, did he get too many DUIs and decided to sell his car at some point in the past?

Also I would find out exactly how he helps his mom. Like does he do yard work and take out the trash and fix stuff when it breaks? Because if he doesn't do any of that stuff and his mom basically just does it all then that's just wrong on so many levels.

I'm pretty curious by nature so I'd probably want to ask him about that stuff before totally writing him off.
 
Old 09-10-2018, 02:22 PM
 
Location: California side of the Sierras
11,162 posts, read 7,613,291 times
Reputation: 12523
Quote:
Originally Posted by picardlx View Post


I know its unusual setup and most of the time you'd be advised not to pursue.

I'm just thinking of my own experience. My career is flexible enough that I can work from home (probably at reduced pay) if I did consulting too. And if a dear family member had lived longer, I absolutely would have asked him to move-in with me or moved-in with him. In the final years of his life, he was always the 'nominal' head of his household but I lived nearly 1/3 of time at his home -- cleaning, cooking meals, doctors appointments, balancing checkbook, etc anyway.

Also, at first I thought about OP's date playing video games for long periods of time at 47 is a red flag too. But then I thought about it.... In the past year and half, (on average) how many hours a week have I spent on CD/CDr? I then quickly humbled myself.
It's true that we all have some leisure time and should be able to spend it as we please. However, if we can't manage to do our own laundry, what with the demands of our part-time job with zero commute, then a bit too much time is being spent at leisure.
 
Old 09-10-2018, 02:22 PM
 
Location: SoCal again
20,707 posts, read 19,883,738 times
Reputation: 43041
Quote:
Originally Posted by vamfury1 View Post
Yes, I know. Thats another thing that I would say is a red flag. 47yo and never married.
Quote:
Originally Posted by self-made View Post
My friend is in his 50s and never been married. He also has not been living with his mommy since he was 15. He works full-time in a stable, well-paying profession, owns his own home (has since a young age) and does his own laundry and takes care of himself, all by himself. He's just ardently independent, never wanted kids or marriage and has no trouble finding female company. He's a catch who does not want to be caught.
yup, you proved OPs point. Red flag.


Besides video games and living with mommy.


Run, OP, run!
 
Old 09-10-2018, 02:22 PM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
8,920 posts, read 7,693,227 times
Reputation: 16655
You have all the information you need to make a decision, just take your reproductive organs out of the equation.
 
Old 09-10-2018, 02:25 PM
 
Location: Florida
23,165 posts, read 26,122,269 times
Reputation: 27898
Just realize that even if you get him to leave mommy, he'll probably expect you to replace her
 
Old 09-10-2018, 02:25 PM
 
Location: southern california
61,289 posts, read 87,260,493 times
Reputation: 55556
Beware the self employed consultant IT or otherwise
It’s a code phrase for long time no job
Many a worthless wasted relationship based on good chemistry and good looks
 
Old 09-10-2018, 02:29 PM
 
9,446 posts, read 6,550,299 times
Reputation: 18898
Quote:
Originally Posted by vamfury1 View Post
Thats seems like a good idea but not sure how to do that. I know I asked if he drank, and he said he drinks socially, and smokes pot "some times". The last guy I dated was a drunk.

In my county you can look it up online. "Arrest records, XXX county".
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