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For the record I am 32 and happily married, but not wanting kids had a vasectomy. I know that is quite unusual for a man my age but I am curious, for women that are or around my age if you met an otherwise great guy you liked that had had one would you consider it a deal breaker, full stop?
I was 33 when I met my husband and if he had had a vasectomy it would not have made a difference. I was on the fence about having children. I ended up having a tubal ligation before we got married because of our age difference and his work situation. We are very happy about not having children and hope that it continues (it should, but you never know--I've heard of a few cases where women got their tubes tied and still got pregnant).
My feeling is that a guy who gets a vasectomy has decided he doesn't want kids again- ever. That can be a very good or very bad thing. When I hit 30 and my bio clock started going nuts it would have been a dealbreaker- not just because he was infertile but because (I would assume) he wasn't interested in more kids. When I met my second husband I was 43, divorced with a 12-year old son. He was divorced and had an adult son. When he told me he'd had a vasectomy I was VERY happy.
I wouldn't be interested in him, but I have several friends who had dated guys like this. (i.e. childfree guy who had a vasectomy) It didn't bother them. So you would have options.
I was married, and with 2 other women in my 20's, first one, we had plenty of practice making "Tricycle Motors" but never happened. Second one already had 3 children and had had her tubes tied. I figured it wasn't in the cards for me to be a father, fast forward a few years, got married again and my very fertile wife and I had twin boys. 3 weeks after they were born, I had a Vasectomy. We got divorced several years later. I have had several women that I have dated, and married make the comment, "it would a great child we would make" also "that they would love to have my child" but, it hasn't stopped any dating, never been told at all that it's a dealbreaker. Funny thing is it doesn't come up in general dating. After the relationship has grown for a few months, and if it goes to the intimacy stage, there is the normal,"do you have protection?" questions. But still, no change in our dating. Dating a woman half my age now, she states sometimes, that it would nice if I had it reversed, then other days, it's "I'm so glad that we don't have to worry about another child" (She has a two year old)
END OF THE DAY!
Don't date someone that wants to change you. Obviously you don't want to have children. So, if it's a dealbreaker with them because you do have one, then it should be a Dealbreaker for you, that they want to have children. Every relationship should be about the couple, not what one wants. Everybody is different, that's what makes different couples so good for each other. So, rather than try to find out if the women represented here on City Data would date you because of your Vasectomy, you should be looking inside yourself to decide whether you will change your decision to be a Father or not. This is not about us, or other women, This is about YOUR decision. I do realize you state you are happily married, (which makes it a very odd question for YOU to ask) but there has to be an underlying factor which makes you curious to know.
Bottom Line: Look inside yourself for the answer, not from outside.
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