TEXTING WOMEN and DATING [MERGED] (relatives, Los Angeles, mother, age)

[JerZ]

Originally Posted by Levels77

I'm surprised they made it to date #10! By date #3 I'd either not see them again afterwards, or things started getting more serious.

That's why it seems a lot more likely that things were going fine, then something happened. Or didn't but should have. Since OP refuses to speak to this girl, he'll never actually know for sure what that thing was.

[moneymkt]

If they had sex not sure why this question is even being asked

[Levels77]

Originally Posted by JerZ

That's why it seems a lot more likely that things were going fine, then something happened. Or didn't but should have. Since OP refuses to speak to this girl, he'll never actually know for sure what that thing was.

I totally agree. He never said that he asked her if everything was ok. He has growing up to do. I feel bad for both!

[Kevinjames88]

Originally Posted by JerZ

That's why it seems a lot more likely that things were going fine, then something happened. Or didn't but should have. Since OP refuses to speak to this girl, he'll never actually know for sure what that thing was.

I’m not refusing to speak to this girl, I’ve been trying to speak to her and she made up an excuse not to see me. I’m not gonna blab all this stuff out via text so I have to wait until she will see me. As to the previous comments things were going great until about week 5 when I sent a text wishing her a good weekend because I was going camping and she was aware of this but her response was vague. Then I got some service 2 days later sent a picture and her response was vague. Text her when I got back her response was vague and I asked her out and she made an excuse to not be able to. All this happened after a month of solid enthusiastic conversation and communication and about 2 dates per week.

[JerZ]

Originally Posted by Kevinjames88

I’m not refusing to speak to this girl, I’ve been trying to speak to her and she made up an excuse not to see me. I’m not gonna blab all this stuff out via text so I have to wait until she will see me. As to the previous comments things were going great until about week 5 when I sent a text wishing her a good weekend because I was going camping and she was aware of this but her response was vague. Then I got some service 2 days later sent a picture and her response was vague. Text her when I got back her response was vague and I asked her out and she made an excuse to not be able to. All this happened after a month of solid enthusiastic conversation and communication and about 2 dates per week.

And yet you didn't ask her,

"...Hey...you seem distant. Can we talk?"

"How was your week?" is NOT the same. Obviously.

[Kevinjames88]

Originally Posted by JerZ

And yet you didn't ask her,

"...Hey...you seem distant. Can we talk?"

"How was your week?" is NOT the same. Obviously.

I’ve tried, several times and getting the cold treatment! And like I said “ I’m getting excuses” the “yeah I’m sorry, really busy blah blah blah” do I need to post pictures of all the conversation on here or can you just believe me when I said I’ve tried and she’s pulling away. I can %100 percent gurantee if I text all
My emotions and hiughts through a text to her she will %100 ghost me I can gurantee that, women don’t like that ****, especially in the beginning stages. The only way to truly find out is to get face to face with her.

[Levels77]

Originally Posted by JerZ

And yet you didn't ask her,

"...Hey...you seem distant. Can we talk?"

"How was your week?" is NOT the same. Obviously.

I agree with this. Right now you are not being open and honest. It CLEARLY bothers you that she is distant and you have not yet once told her about it!

I'm curious, how have your other relationships gone when there was a problem? Do you just gloss over it, and continue with life as usual? Are you afraid of potential conflicts?

OP if you have any hope of salvaging this, you MUST address how you are feeling with this girl, to her directly, talking, NOT OVER TEXT!

I will copy and paste what I wrote earlier:

If a women has issues or is trying to play games, that is very challenging because these women will fear "looking too eager" and will say no they can't go out with you when they really can and have no other plans. They will deliberately try to sound short in the phone conversation to try to "not appear desperate". These women are too complicated in my opinion to date.

How do you know which type of girl she is? Ask her out, leave her alone and wait till the date. If she can't go out with you and is not playing games she will apologize that she can't make it and suggest another day and be content waiting until that day comes even if you don't call her. Confident women without insecurity issues don't start freaking out if they don't hear from the guy in between dates.

If she is playing games, she won't suggest another day, and then she will start freaking out that by trying to not appear desperate she sent you an "I'm not interested sign" and start calling and chasing after you. Or if she insecure she will start freaking out if she doesn't hear from you in between dates and start chasing you.

Read more: http://www.city-data.com/forum/relat...#ixzz5RhdRDx2q

I don't think she was playing games. She answered and returned your calls. She's agreed to go out with you every time except this once.

Now all the sudden she is busy. I think she genuinely lost interest. WHAT HAPPENED? You MUST ask her if you hope of having a real relationship, where you can talk about things that bother you.

This is why the silent treatment doesn't work. It makes things awkward and no one knows where they stand.

I do think your relationship with her is over. A weekend is coming up and I find it hard to believe she has plans every day and every night this weekend and can't make time for you. If she were out of town she would have said so. Or if she were truly busy she would have said sorry, how about next weekend. She is either confused and doesn't want to address it, or doesn't want to see you again and doesn't have the courage to tell you.

I personally think you should learn from this and move on. But if you do want to give it one more shot, pray to God she answers the phone the next time you call and ask her if everything is ok and tell you miss the way your interactions were with her before, and you would love to see her again. Ask her if she is feeling she wants to keep seeing you, and potentially you two only date each other.

[JerZ]

Originally Posted by Kevinjames88

I’ve tried, several times and getting the cold treatment! And like I said “ I’m getting excuses” the “yeah I’m sorry, really busy blah blah blah” do I need to post pictures of all the conversation on here or can you just believe me when I said I’ve tried and she’s pulling away. I can %100 percent gurantee if I text all
My emotions and hiughts through a text to her she will %100 ghost me I can gurantee that, women don’t like that ****, especially in the beginning stages. The only way to truly find out is to get face to face with her.

Okay.

So then forget it. Move on.

[Levels77]

Originally Posted by Kevinjames88

I’m not refusing to speak to this girl, I’ve been trying to speak to her and she made up an excuse not to see me. I’m not gonna blab all this stuff out via text so I have to wait until she will see me. As to the previous comments things were going great until about week 5 when I sent a text wishing her a good weekend because I was going camping and she was aware of this but her response was vague. Then I got some service 2 days later sent a picture and her response was vague. Text her when I got back her response was vague and I asked her out and she made an excuse to not be able to. All this happened after a month of solid enthusiastic conversation and communication and about 2 dates per week.

Vague responses? What more could she say when you told her you were going camping but "have fun".

When you got back and texted her, her response was vague again? What more could she say but, "did you have a good weekend?"

Were you expecting her to say, "lets meet up this weekend" and were disappointed when she didn't? Did you start questioning how she felt about you since she didn't ask you out and gave you short "vague" replies via text? Was that how this whole thread started?

I had advised you on Tuesday to ask her out and make plans for this weekend then leave her alone, and not call or text her until the night before or the morning of the date to say you are looking forward to seeing her. I think if you had done this, it would have been a different outcome.

[old_cold]

Now wait a minute
Isn't the advice usually given that if you ask someone out and they decline and do not suggest another time, that you should consider that as a lack of interest?

She did not so it would seem that,along with other signs, that Kevin is probably right .