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No, it's not a "numbers game", if you are looking for ONE compatible person. You can meet all the incompatible people in the world if you purposely strive to make your profile as generic and formulaic as possible if you are personally NOT.
What is the point in meeting people who won't be interested in the real you? Why waste your time? Why play with the feelings of others?
I have no room in my life for liars and manipulators. The man in my life is here because he is open, transparent, and REAL about who he is.
Without a foundation in honesty, you have nothing.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,893,331 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ
^ What if she DID hide that she's a stripper? Because that's not who she really is, it doesn't define her, and it isn't at all similar to her hobbies?
I'd be annoyed if they hid they were a stripper because the chances are she worked nights and that wouldn't be compatible with my schedule
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ann Onn
No, it's not a "numbers game", if you are looking for ONE compatible person. You can meet all the incompatible people in the world if you purposely strive to make your profile as generic and formulaic as possible if you are personally NOT.
Correct. The "numbers game" trap is something thrown around here way too much. It's not about connecting with MORE people, it's about narrowing the focus and connecting with YOUR people, which hopefully (if one is monogamous) results in A person. Focus focus focus.
I'd be annoyed if they hid they were a stripper because the chances are she worked nights and that wouldn't be compatible with my schedule
Correct. The "numbers game" trap is something thrown around here way too much. It's not about connecting with MORE people, it's about narrowing the focus and connecting with YOUR people, which hopefully (if one is monogamous) results in A person. Focus focus focus.
Well, it is a numbers game to a certain extent and it depends on how you're going about meeting and dating. If it's online dating, it is a numbers game pretty much...at least these days. The Tinder platform is proof of that.
In person gatherings kind of eliminate all that as it's easier to "focus" on someone in the moment, at that particular venue. Two people sitting across from each other, getting to know each other.
I don't find Tinder or Bumble to be a numbers game at all. Nor OKC.
I didn't use Tinder or Bumble, but I did do online dating and I too didn't find it to be a "numbers game." I had much better luck being selective and careful.
Maybe the numbers game works for some. But to me it's like when you apply for a job. Some people paper the town with resumes and get job offers. I did that in my early years and it never worked--I never got a call back. When I started really looking at places best suited for me and then tailoring my resume to those companies and their job openings, suddenly I always got an interview and a job offer half the time.
Different strategies. It's worth trying both to see what works best for each person, individually.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,893,331 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TMBGBlueCanary
Maybe the numbers game works for some. But to me it's like when you apply for a job. Some people paper the town with resumes and get job offers. I did that in my early years and it never worked--I never got a call back. When I started really looking at places best suited for me and then tailoring my resume to those companies and their job openings, suddenly I always got an interview and a job offer half the time.
.
Good analogy. This is what worked for me as well. Sending resumes / applications off into the void never did squat for me.
OP I looked at your POF profile you posted here and there are a couple of things:
{list of profile improvement ideas}
Thanks 10¢, you have some good ideas in your post! I'm currently rewriting my profile and you gave me some good suggestions.
I have a half body shot which shows I'm not fat, but I really need a full body shot. I like the idea of setting my camera on a tripod and taking a selfie of me standing in front of my house. My house is very nice and that gets a picture of my house into my profile, and proof I'm not fat too!
I have a picture of one of my home cooked meals already plated, and I do get "nice photo" hits on that picture. That's proof enough for me to leave that picture in my profile. It turns out that many of the women I date are foodies like me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ann Onn
If you hate polo shirts, don't wear them in your profile. If you don't own a dog, don't put a dog in your profile. If you don't enjoy cooking, don't put a pic of you cooking in your profile.
Be real...
I agree with your critique. My comments above and in my profile are the absolute truth, anybody who misrepresents themselves in a profile is headed for a first date disaster. I have a picture of MY dog in my profile, he's departed, but the caption makes that clear. I'm looking for a new dog to adopt as soon as I find the right dog. More people than not are animal lovers. A picture of your pet demonstrates you like animals too.
Just to make myself abundantly clear, it is a totally stupid idea to put anything in your profile that is not the truth.
Last edited by Lovehound; 09-19-2018 at 11:03 AM..
^ What if she DID hide that she's a stripper? Because that's not who she really is, it doesn't define her, and it isn't at all similar to her hobbies?
The reason sexwork falls into a different category is because unlike any other career path the woman would basically be getting paid to be someone else's girlfriend for a living, be it for the night as a prostitute or for 3 songs as a lapdancing stripper.
no other field is like that which is why it does not matter whether a woman in a nurse, lawyer, waitress at waffle-house or shift manager at tacobell. My only concern on a woman's employment is whether she has the time off of work to actually BE in a relationship which is why I don't ask about a woman's work except the "whats your schedule like?".
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,893,331 times
Reputation: 40634
Quote:
Originally Posted by cyphorx
no other field is like that which is why it does not matter whether a woman in a nurse, lawyer, waitress at waffle-house or shift manager at tacobell. My only concern on a woman's employment is whether she has the time off of work to actually BE in a relationship which is why I don't ask about a woman's work except the "whats your schedule like?".
If a woman was like this to me, I would get the feeling she wasn't interested in me at all as a person but just interested in what I could do for her entertainment wise.
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