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For me, I had the opportunity to marry/settle down at age 24 but I didn't feel ready at the time -- I wanted to travel, enjoy my youth and date more people -- so I moved away and ended that relationship.
At the same time, I'm nearly 28 now and still single so I'm heading for marriage and kids in my 30s. I'm OK with it though growing up I always idealized marrying at age 28 and having 2.5 kids in my early 30s.
A friend of mine got married at 24 (met her husband in college). She is 30 now with 1 daughter born at age 26 and very happy.
By comparison, my mother married at age 32. She and my father also were very happy, they had three kids, though all when my mother was in her mid- to late-30s. It seemed to work out for them so I guess it seems like there are several ways to do it.
What do you think? Marriage in 20s or 30s? Kids in 20s or 30s?
For me, I had the opportunity to marry/settle down at age 24 but I didn't feel ready at the time -- I wanted to travel, enjoy my youth and date more people -- so I moved away and ended that relationship.
At the same time, I'm nearly 28 now and still single so I'm heading for marriage and kids in my 30s. I'm OK with it though growing up I always idealized marrying at age 28 and having 2.5 kids in my early 30s.
A friend of mine got married at 24 (met her husband in college). She is 30 now with 1 daughter born at age 26 and very happy.
By comparison, my mother married at age 32. She and my father also were very happy, they had three kids, though all when my mother was in her mid- to late-30s. It seemed to work out for them so I guess it seems like there are several ways to do it.
What do you think? Marriage in 20s or 30s? Kids in 20s or 30s?
Marriage when you find the right person regardless of how old you are. Kids, never. Or if you insist, after you're already married to the right person and when you're both ready to have them.
Marriage when you find the right person regardless of how old you are. Kids, never. Or if you insist, after you're already married to the right person and when you're both ready to have them.
Agreed. I remember talking to a single woman who I mentioned "What if you're not married by 30? (This was when we were in our 20s), and she goes, "WEl, I BETTER be married by that time" as if she had a choice. lol
There is really no right answer for everyone. I got married at 28, was 30 when my first child was born and 33 when the second came along. I am happy with how things turned out. I've been with my wife since I was 23 so we probably could have married sooner than we did. I am glad we didn't have children earlier, I just don't think I was quite ready to take on that level of responsibility before I was 30. I am also glad we didn't wait longer to have children. It's sort of like we were waiting for some grand sign that it was the perfect time to become parents. In reality there never is a perfect moment where all the stars align. If you want children you eventually have to decide to take the leap and accept that there will never be an absolutely perfect time for it.
I met the right person younger than I thought I would and got married right before I turned 20. My first was five weeks old when I turned 21, and I now have six great kiddos The original plan was college and career for a decade but eh.... But aside from not having had time to pursue college and career when I first wanted it, I am VERY happy with how I did things. Being a younger spouse and parent has been great, with comparably few trade offs compared to what I see of my friends who are now just settling down in their early thirties. But I also had an older partner, so I benefitted from his stability, which a couple that were both younger wouldn’t necessarily have.
All that to say - right person and circumstance? It’s great. And seeing what most of my friends did with their twenties? I think I made the right choice - I would not have been nearly as happy in their shoes, if just wasn’t for me.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Not that I ever had the choice but I wouldn’t have settled down in my twenties anyway. I finished undergrad at 24 due to events out of my control. I wanted to go out and have fun and party which marriage would not have been conducive to. I never wanted kids and still don’t want them.
My own parents waited until their mid 30s. I still ended up in a ed up broken home but thankfully my mother being older meant she had a better idea of what she was doing than if she were 25.
For women it's different from men. Women have the issue of fertility and the major decline in their looks coming as they approach 30. So most women I've known tend to want to be married or at least in a serious relationship before that point. Most women in their 30s I've seen are desperate for a serious relationship with the potential for marriage and if they're over 40 it's near hopeless. You simply just do not have as long to wait as a woman if you want marriage and a family.
For men, well we have a very long time to wait. Most men in modern times don't hit our financial stride until our 30s and finances are what makes men most attractive to women. Men's looks also don't really decline much in our 30s (or sometimes even improve).
My parents actually were with each other in high school and got married in their early 20s but times have changed and I know very few couples where this happens with today. Most tend to be in their late 20s at the youngest.
I don't think it's a good idea to get married before 24 either way as people under that age tend to still want to have fun and enjoy the benefits of the single, young life. I've watched countless peers who married young end up divorced or in miserable marriages. I think people who marry under 24 in modern times feel that they've missed on a lot of living and regret it later on.
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The original plan was college and career for a decade but eh.... But aside from not having had time to pursue college and career when I first wanted it, I am VERY happy with how I did things. Being a younger spouse and parent has been great, with comparably few trade offs compared to what I see of my friends who are now just settling down in their early thirties. But I also had an older partner, so I benefitted from his stability, which a couple that were both younger wouldn’t necessarily have.
ed up broken home but thankfully my mother being older meant she had a better idea of what she was doing than if she were 25.
