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I think some people are just self-centered. They worry too much about how someone else’s preferences could potentially inconvenience them. Cry me a river. I’ve dated women who were vegetarian and I never once complained that it meant we couldn’t go certain places like a BBQ joint. I can always go with my non-vegetarian friends. Same with movies. Ok, so she’s not into superhero movies. Again, I can find others to go with.
That’s just how some people are. I personally find it shallow to reject someone over what they choose to eat. But whatever!
As for fasting. Technically, everyone fasts, whether they realize it or not. From dinner to “breakfast” (short for “breaking a fast”) your body is fasting if you go 6-8 hours of not eating. What I assume you’re talking about is basically starving yourself every once in a while., Lol.
I think it’s completely appropriate and within her right and reason to reject you for this. I will not expand on my point other than to answer your question.
I "practice" intermittent fasting all the time....I doubt anyone is even aware of it.
Course I wouldn't go out to dinner with someone while doing so.
When offered food by friends, family etc...I just say "thanks..it looks real good, but I just ate a ton"...that always satisfies them.
Right. I have vegan friends, vegetarian friends, friends who fast and friends who have diet restrictions. I still go out to eat with each of them and when we do we generally go to places that they like. When the faster is fasting, we don't eat together and she usually does as you say. I am probably the closest to the faster. I am extra careful to respect her goal/wishes when she is fasting but I also won't let her force me into not eating. We have worked out great. So far the vegans have been the most aggressive with me, trying to force their beliefs on me and it has almost threatened our friendship (their idea, not mine). One of the two, I'm still not sure where we stand. In the next couple of weeks, I'm supposed to meet up with a vegetarian friend of mine so we can cook together. It should be fun but I can only do that every so often. Lol
This is a concern of mine, too. In order to manage my cholesterol and blood sugar without medication, I've gradually cut back on poultry, beef, pork, potatoes, pasta, refined sugars, etc. and I eat more "slow carbs" such as bulghur and couscous. I love vegetables and anything spicy, so my diet is still enjoyable by my standards. I'm now at a weight I haven't seen since I was in college and I'm very happy. I would hope that any decent guy I date won't scoff at me for eating a lovely dish of asparagus and pita and hummous from the Appetizer menu and I won't criticize his juicy steak. If he's fasting and just wants to have black coffee of sparkling water, that's fine, too. If someone wants to make food a battleground, they're not for me.
In the world of dating, people have all kinds of dealbreakers. Diet is one of them. Maybe you’re a strict vegetarian and can’t see yourself with someone who eats meat. I was on a dating site recently. I started chatting with one woman, we had a had a lot in common and seemed to be hitting it off. Then somehow we got on the topic of health and I mentioned that I do intermittent fasting, which really isn’t a diet, but for the purposes of this post, I’ll treat it as one. She decided she was no longer interested in me. Her reason? I can’t see myself with someone who can’t sit down and eat meals with me due to such self imposed dietary restrictions. Oh and this was before she suggested that intermittent fasting was close to being an eating disorder. I can deal with rejection and I don’t always agree with the other person’s reasons. But this one just made me laugh and made glad things didn’t work out.
Anybody else experience something like this?
I'm sorry this happened to you. What this exchange told you, hopefully, is that she's not a compassionate person. Some people have to do intermittent fasting, due to being pre-diabetic, or worse: full-blown diabetes. The fasting is only "intermittent", there are plenty of meals you can share. But I think, that with the growth in recognition of the role food allergies play in health, and the development of dietary strategies to deal with health issues (a very positive development in the medical field), diet issues like this are increasing. Some people are flexible enough, and caring enough, to be able to work with the situation, when an SO has such a health concern, others aren't.
It introduces yet another factor into the mate search, that requires matching-up, or compatibility-testing. Life is a challenge, OP. Don't let it get you down.
I think her reaction was beyond silly, and definitely over reacting..... but at least you up front.
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I just saw an article posted about this topic. Apparently, it is a thing for some - at least enough of a thing for there to be an article written about it.
To me, it just seemed like a silly reason. If you’re a couple, you’re probably only eating dinner together during the week. M-F, you’re having lunch at work. And in the mornings, you’re probably both in a hurry to get ready for work so you either eat something quick or grab something on the drive in. That really only leaves weekends. A lot of people sleep in on Saturday and Sunday and either end up eating a late breakfast or just wait til lunch. So to expect that you’ll be eating most of your meals together seems unrealistic.
So its a silly reason to you. It isn't to them. Their criteria in a potential mate is as valid as yours.
Show me where I said their criteria isn’t valid to them.
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I can deal with rejection and I don’t always agree with the other person’s reasons. But this one just made me laugh and made glad things didn’t work out.
