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I know all you ladies will want to jump in here and start screaming at me (lol) but this question is for the guys.
I am starting to see this more and more on the dating site.... single guys who are saying that relationships are fine but that they want to be friends first. What the hell does that mean? I want to hear this from the guys perspective. Explain exactly what they mean since I am seeing this more?
Friends first is a normal approach in most countries. Obviously not in the US.
People are friends first, and then gradually become exclusive. The reality is that when friends become lovers the shift in their emotions is usually gradual. In fact, it's so subtle they don't even notice it's happening until the moment a kindly hug becomes loaded with intention.
Just think of it like foreplay. Of course not every close friendship will develop into romance, but the time you're being friends, you're learning about each other. Subconsciously you're deciding whether you can take it further, from a friendship on to a more emotional and sexual level.
There are like 200+questions. It took me 2 hours to initially set up my profile.
Yikes!
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eharmony...But it is much more interesting to view profiles of people who answer these questions. You get a lot more information, and not quite as many games.
You may want to look into that site. It is uncanny how good my girlfriend and I get along.
Interesting. I might check it out (when I feel up to answering 200 questions).
I don't want casual sex, I want to fall in love too but specifically saying "friends first" makes me think of all sorts of things that I don't like, like FWB or maybe they are asexual and trying to hide it, or maybe they don't want to take me out on dates and just want to chill at the house like brother and sister...and more that I won't go on with.
I think adding 'friends first' is a poor tactic. IMO stating 'interested in LTR' is fully sufficient. 'LTR' implies sex at a future date. Meet the person and ask them about their intentions. Leave if you don't like the answer.
That is a possibility but they make it a point to say the "relationships are fine" part. I've encountered around 3 guys so far who've said it like this so far.
Yeah, it's still confusing really.
What we're dealing with here is a lack of firing synapses in between the ears. Not you, your confusion is understandable, from this "friends first stuff. Women do it a lot to. Most folks on dating sites aren't looking for friends .From my experience with that online dating felgercarb (as a man of course) the response I got revolved around hookup sex the greatest percentage of the time. This "friends first" stuff seems to be some kind of code for f*** buddy or fast satisfaction and then never to be seen or heard from again. That's why I gave up with online dating. The old fashioned way of meeting someone has worked better for me.
It's been a LONG time since I used any online dating site. Back around 2012. I gave it a shot for ...oh...maybe 2 or 3 months or so. Every connection I made that said "friends first" worked out as I described above. I don't think men advertising thus are any different. Just my opinion though.
It is impossible not to, from a guy's standpoint. He will be checking you out.
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The old fashioned way of meeting someone has worked better for me. 
