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Women have too many options these days, see? It was better, back when they needed a man in order to survive--a breadwinner.
Right! Some of the guys in here that wish it was 1950's all over again have difficulties buying coffee on a date or putting a couple dollars in a tip jar, Lol.
TTown, and all men reading this topic, and this is from me a man: JUST DO NOT HIT ON CASHIERS!!!
That behavior is just never okay. You are annoying them like some big giant smiling mosquito.
I don't know why we need 93 replies to beat this into your head.
I'm not a big believer in 'hitting' on anyone really, since I have an aversion to obnoxious public displays/behavior in general. But especially not at someone who is paid and thus forced to be nice, such as a cashier.
But I try to smile at everyone, they can take it however they want, either smile back or frown back --because they have 'control' over themselves.
I know this is a relationship forum, and I only say the following because you inevitably get someone who says, "well but do you do it to men too"?
Many young guys in my demographic have been conditioned to put the hard mugshot looking mask on as a means of survival where I'm from. You'd be amazed how quickly it melts if you give a gentle (non-sexual) somewhat cursory smile and ask, "how you doing?" as you walk by.
That's how I approach this. Not as some veiled predatory device. But I am aware (now) that it can be perceived that way, as I was nearly assaulted in the other thread over this.
I'm not a big believer in 'hitting' on anyone really, since I have an aversion to obnoxious public displays/behavior in general. But especially not at someone who is paid and thus forced to be nice, such as a cashier.
But I try to smile at everyone, they can take it however they want, either smile back or frown back --because they have 'control' over themselves.
I know this is a relationship forum, and I only say the following because you inevitably get someone who says, "well but do you do it to men too"?
Many young guys in my demographic have been conditioned to put the hard mugshot looking mask on as a means of survival where I'm from. You'd be amazed how quickly it melts if you give a gentle (non-sexual) somewhat cursory smile and ask, "how you doing?" as you walk by.
That's how I approach this. Not as some veiled predatory device. But I am aware (now) that it can be perceived that way, as I was nearly assaulted in the other thread over this.
We're you assaulted by a predatory smile?
The thing is, "do you behave the same way towards men?" Was asked of someone who talks about the strangeness of women, how we don't respond in a way that he appreciates, how he is a lot of times confused by our behavior. Go check his threads.
It was a legitimate question. If women respond in a way that makes a guy feel unappreciated or insignificant, it's not bc all women are *******, ok?
Also, if one is aware of social cues, like equal attraction signs and genuine interest, there are a few who could successfully meet someone this way. There's no way to teach it. I have a feeling by the posts and threads, that some guys take: "Did you find everything ok?" The wrong way. They need to give it up.
The thing is, "do you behave the same way towards men?" Was asked of someone who talks about the strangeness of women, how we don't respond in a way that he appreciates, how he is a lot of times confused by our behavior. Go check his threads.
Understood; thanks.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL
I have a feeling by the posts and threads, that some guys take: "Did you find everything ok?" The wrong way.
ThisTown, I'm trying to picture the scenario you described and I can't help but think it's creepy -- especially the "nice smile" part.
She saw right through your BS.
+1.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThisTown123
I get a kick out of you, a person who 1. Wasn't there. 2. Doesn't know the woman in question and 3. Can read said woman's mind.
Purely speculative. You just have an axe to grind.
See? That's the issue. Multiple women keep telling you the same thing but you utterly refuse to accept that's it's YOUR actions.
See above and below. Do we all have an axe to grind????
Quote:
Originally Posted by redplum33
Nah, no axe. It just seems pretty clear what your intentions were, and she picked up on that. You probably stopped what you were doing and waited for a response - making for a very awkward situation. She was likely thinking to herself "why can't I just stop at the store and grab a rotisserie chicken and a pomegranate without some greasy haired perv trying to hit on me? I'll just ignore him and hope he doesn't get aggressive" while looking around for Security in case you decided to follow her out to the parking lot.
You really need to get yourself under control. This is predatory behavior that you're attempting to disguise as just being friendly at the grocery store.
Yep.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL
And yet...you don't tell tales of the men you talk to, interview style, once you get your foot in the door. These responses you get here- that you don't agree with, are from women, trying to put themselves in the shoes of the women you view with such wonderment. Trying to give you some insight.
Why would we react with just going about our business when someone strikes up a conversation? It was an attempt to strike up a conversation, or you wouldn't have been waiting for a response. It was the manner in which it was delivered, and to whom, and at what time, and what was she doing? Going grocery shopping is not a social activity for most women. Yes we have all had conversations with strangers, those who talk about it the most aren't especially gregarious and outgoing, it's just not a memorable event for most, where we remember all the words and details.
As I asked, what would you do differently if you found out you were wrong, that it's not the women?
Anything?
Yep.
Quote:
Originally Posted by david0966
I’ve said his many times on here, people who are at a grocery store are there with one thing in mind, getting what they need and getting out as quickly as possible. They are not there to socialize. It really amazes me why people keep thinking a grocery store is a good place to do this.
Yep.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hawaiiancoconut
Right! Some of the guys in here that wish it was 1950's all over again have difficulties buying coffee on a date or putting a couple dollars in a tip jar, Lol.
You'd be amazed how quickly it melts if you give a gentle (non-sexual) somewhat cursory smile and ask, "how you doing?" as you walk by.
That's a pick-up line.
Do you say that to men too?
Quote:
Originally Posted by LLCNYC
Multiple women keep telling the same thing but you utterly refuse to accept that's it's YOUR actions.
Multiple men are telling him the same thing too. I see Coconut has chimed in to not hit on cashiers. Probably a few more men too, I don't know everybody's gender.
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