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You've made some good points but I think this falls under "piling on."
Piling on???
She did that 10 posts ago. You'd think this guy created the original sin and every other disaster in the world based on some of the posts, even called him "sick", I mean come on, if that isn't hyperbole what is??? I busted a little on the guy, but man, people on these interwebs get way out of hand.
You've made some good points but I think this falls under "piling on."
If he would ever say, Yes, I see where I made some mistakes, or take some responsibility, maybe. Definitely not one to kick someone when they're down. This guy REfuses to take one iota of responsibility for causing anything. IMHO, he never has, in any relationship. No dog in this fight, so, like I said before. I'm outta here and will let him believe his own self grandeur and non-responsible self.
I see it as, if a person comes on to a public forum and asks for other's opinions, then he should either be able to take all that is delivered, good as well as bad, or, don't air your personal life online.
As I said, if I had known she had feelings for me, I would have gone about things differently. I messed up in some ways and let her down in some respects but I am not a bad guy. I expected to get some negativity but yes, am surprised at the backlash. Anyone would think I completely discarded Emily and that I no longer talk to her/check in with her which is not the case. I admit I should have been more honest in August and about My partner but I can't turn back time now. Hindsight is a wonderful thing and I should have been aware that she may well have had feelings for me.
My youngest knows my partner as a friend, not as anything romantic at this point although my 17 yr old and 2 other older kids know her as a romantic partner and know she is very special to me. She won't be moving in yet but she and I are getting closer all the time so she will be a part of my kids life eventually.
The birth control question isn't even relevant and of course we are using it.
No, it was wrong whether she has feelings for you or not IMO. This is about you being inconsiderate period, not only because she might have a crush on you.
Pulling way back on any relationship suddenly and wthout honest explanation, even if you still "keep in touch", can still be hurtful to the person on the other end... romantic feelinsg or no.
As I said, if I had known she had feelings for me, I would have gone about things differently. I messed up in some ways and let her down in some respects but I am not a bad guy. I expected to get some negativity but yes, am surprised at the backlash.
Whether or not she has/had feelings for you doesn't change the fact that you should have handled it differently. Even if your friendship was MUTUALLY PLATONIC, you still handled it terribly as a friend.
He's done that, to an extent. He seems to be starting to see the light.
As a man in this world, I would hope he has. THE MOST MISERABLE PEOPLE ARE THOSE WHO CARE ONLY ABOUT THEMSELVES, UNDERSTAND ONLY THEIR OWN TROUBLES, AND SEE ONLY THEIR OWN PERSPECTIVE.
I'm no better than anyone else, Only thing is, I know I don't know a damn thing, and I'll admit my shortcomings. I don't blame my life on other's actions. I'm making my own mistakes, and my own consequences.
THE MOST MISERABLE PEOPLE ARE THOSE WHO CARE ONLY ABOUT THEMSELVES, UNDERSTAND ONLY THEIR OWN TROUBLES, AND SEE ONLY THEIR OWN PERSPECTIVE.
Yes, and most of them only blame their misery on others.
The thing is ... the message can get lost in the delivery, and if that delivery becomes too harsh then people will stop listening to the message.
I get your frustration. I REALLY do. But it sounds like it's time for you to tag someone else in to keep carrying that message to the OP so he can salvage his situation.
I think you knew Emily had feelings for you other than platonic, and that's why you didn't tell her.
If I had two platonic male friends: one equally platonic, one who I knew was romantically interested in me, and suddenly was head over heels with some new partner I met...which one would be easiest to talk about it with?
I think you didn't tell her bc you knew how she felt and didn't want to hurt her feelings. There's no reason to keep the information from one you KNOW is platonic, you'd want to share the excitement with them!
If someone has feelings for you, it's tough to disappoint them, you don't want to feel like you're rubbing it in by talking about how happy you are.
If people are "piling" on you here, it's not bc the event is so evil, it's bc we've come to pick up the signs when someone's being dishonest.
As I said, she would have been confused as to why I was so upset one week then with another woman the next. I know it's for keeps but wanted to keep it under wraps for a few months before telling her and making myself look stupid.
I'm still not convinced she has romantic feelings for me either.
As I said, she would have been confused as to why I was so upset one week then with another woman the next. I know it's for keeps but wanted to keep it under wraps for a few months before telling her and making myself look stupid.
I'm still not convinced she has romantic feelings for me either.
Did you think she might try to talk you out of it?
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