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There's nothing to be 'Really honest' about. Emily is/was just a friend.
Emily has said again she felt hurt and confused when I stopped contacting her so regularly. We will talk tomorrow but although I get that it may have been difficult for her, I still don't know how to answer that as I can't go back to that level of contact so don't know what to say.
Do you consider yourself still friends, or do you think now that you have a girlfriend there's no need to keep in touch with Emily? Was she just a stopgap until you found someone else to meet your emotional needs?
There's nothing to be 'Really honest' about. Emily is/was just a friend.
Emily has said again she felt hurt and confused when I stopped contacting her so regularly. We will talk tomorrow but although I get that it may have been difficult for her, I still don't know how to answer that as I can't go back to that level of contact so don't know what to say.
I'm glad you have realized this. Good job. You are at her mercy on this, man. I think just about all you can do is not be nasty or defensive and just continue to apologize (really) when she expresses her feelings. Let her know that you are seeing someone and they are taking up most of your time, but you would like to remain friends and keep in touch when you can. It will be up to her whether she wants to or not and you have to accept whatever she decides. If she decides to keep the lines of communication open, at some point later on, you should probably invite her to meet your girlfriend. (and make sure your gf is ok with you being friends with Emily too)
There's nothing to be 'Really honest' about. Emily is/was just a friend.
Emily has said again she felt hurt and confused when I stopped contacting her so regularly. We will talk tomorrow but although I get that it may have been difficult for her, I still don't know how to answer that as I can't go back to that level of contact so don't know what to say.
"I wonder if our BluePlanet has asked this new wonderful woman in his life, what her advise is about Emily? What's her take on this? Have you really been honest with her?"
Try Honesty. At least you won't be out in the public airing dirty laundry that you drug in the mud. No, really, HONESTY!1 Seriously, HONESTY. The Truth.
There's nothing to be 'Really honest' about. Emily is/was just a friend.
Emily has said again she felt hurt and confused when I stopped contacting her so regularly. We will talk tomorrow but although I get that it may have been difficult for her, I still don't know how to answer that as I can't go back to that level of contact so don't know what to say.
Just tell her you can't because you have a girlfriend now and it wouldn't be appropriate, but you still want to be a friend if you can.
You were not wrong for pulling back IMO if that's what you felt was best, you are just wrong for not communicating with her first.
You can’t make Emily feel or do anything she isn’t comfortable with, all you can do is make your actions clear to her so she can understand why you took the actions you did.
She may or may not agree with you, but that’s something you have no real control over.
Don’t try to work things just to save face, it’s just creates even more of a disingenuous feeling. Which is something you do not need right now when trying to deal with someone who feels you have already been disingenuous to them.
This is a “get real” moment, not one to massage truths
If she was only close to you as she wanted to date you then she wasn’t your friend in the first place and nothing has been lost. A friend would be happy that you’re having activity in your dating life.
I also assume it’s not a one way friendship where you use her for things like babysitting. That even “needy” you provided friendship in a reciprocal manner.
But that's not what happened.
He just got quiet and distant on her, until he needed a babysitter. How would she not feel used and cast away?
Do you consider yourself still friends, or do you think now that you have a girlfriend there's no need to keep in touch with Emily? Was she just a stopgap until you found someone else to meet your emotional needs?
Well when I'm "hurt and trying to protect myself by pulling back" it's not because I think my friend has other friends. Who thinks they can be someone's only friend?
OP is giving the impression his thought process is limited...or...is obtuse.
Yep! if I read "I'm sorry you feel this way" that means it's over and there's nothing else to be said.
Yep, that great non-apology. Basically telling her the problem is hers.
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