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Um, yeah, you should care that it is obvious you hurt a friend's feelings, heck, it shouldn't even matter who is right or wrong.
But you don't seemed very concerned about her.
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Um, yeah, you should care that it is obvious you hurt a friend's feelings, heck, it shouldn't even matter who is right or wrong.
But you don't seemed very concerned about her.
This. Even with nearly everyone in this thread telling him that Emily has clearly been hurt by his actions, he's still not willing to admit that he wronged her. He's not willing to acknowledge that his actions hurt her. He's only interested in defending himself.
To be honest I thought it was just her illness making her quiet as I just hadn't considered she may have feelings for me. Things do seem clearer now although I do feel some of the replies are unnecessarily harsh.
I do care about Emily and am grateful to her. Our relationship has changed but that in time was always going to happen and I thought she understood that as there are times in life when you depend more on people but the contact eases as life improves. I don't feel guilty for not telling her about the relationship. I stand by the fact that I was allowed to take my time in who I told although I shouldn't have bent the truth, there was a reason behind it. Obviously I regret how she found out but that can't be taken back now unfortunately.
This. Even with nearly everyone in this thread telling him that Emily has clearly been hurt by his actions, he's still not willing to admit that he wronged her. He's not willing to acknowledge that his actions hurt her. He's only interested in defending himself.
Because he deserves happiness.....
I'm sure Emily doesn't?
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The thing is, I didn't think she would see it as exciting news and would perhaps feel a little perplexed as to why I was crying over my wife as late as July and then in a new relationship a few weeks on. I know it seems strange but I just feel an amazing connection to this new partner of mine. We have both been through hard times and we know that we will face any obstacle together in the future. I feel very lucky to have met someone so soon after my separation. Someone who I know I will be with for a very long time.
I guess it wasn't embarrassment on my part, nor was it the fact that Emily would judge me, its just I didn't feel ready to tell her.
OP, you used Emily when she was convenient to you, and, then, you discarded her when she was not. Shame on you. You strike me as self-absorbed, self-centered and selfish. Only concerned about you and your own feelings. I feel bad for Emily.
As to your new boo, that's your rebound. Please be kinder to her than you were to Emily.
Of course I am still reeling from the hurt I went through with my ex wife, I am not over that but I don't feel anything for her anymore in the way of love, I am past that stage now and accepting of it.
I don't feel I have used Emily but accept I could have done things differently. I don't think it is using someone if you still contact them, and ask about their life even if it wasn't as regular as before.
If I dropped her completely I would understand where you are all coming from but this isn't the case.
My new partner, yes, it is quick but she is more to me than a rebound. The group brought us together and we have so much in common. I know we have an amazing future and its a light at the end of a dark tunnel. I know I am fortunate but I also know I need to sort things out with Emily.
It is saddening that you feel I am selfish and self absorbed. I do care about Emily and in hindsight understand that I could have done things differently but I am not a bad guy.
Woah. Remember I was the one who got cheated on? I deserve to be happy and I am not letting a good woman get away. I had months of emotional pain and now I am finally feeling my old self thanks to my partner.
I never ignored Emily. I just haven't been contacting her constantly like I was. I would hope she would understand that now I am in a better place, I am not as needy but she knows she can contact me anytime she needs. I have not abandoned her like it has been suggested and she was the one who offered to babysit.
As I said, I didn't tell her as I thought it would confuse her. I feel like I have cried all my tears over my ex and have got it out of my system. My plan now is to seek new things to forget the past. My partner and I have an understanding and a closeness which has developed from our past hurtful experiences. She makes me feel desirable and needed. The connection is insane and I feel so supported by her.
I would have told Emily in time, it just didn't feel right at this point.
If I wasn't confident about this relationship with my partner, I wouldn't be in it. When something feels right you go for it and at my age, I don't want to waste time. I believe this is my shot at happiness. I have been feeling down for so long but I have turned a corner now and feel very thankful to my partner for bringing me some happiness back. But feeling that doesn't make me a bad friend to Emily.
Translated: "me, me, me, and then again, there's me."
You used Emily and hurt her feelings badly. How about move to make that right instead of searching for sympathy to salve your self-inflicted wounds?
I think the way you treated your friend is terrible. I don't think she has feelings, I think you are a bad friend. You used her when you needed someone, use her for your babysitting needs, but then basically disappear once you find a girlfriend, and don't even tell her about that girlfriend. Not cool at all. A friend is a friend whether you have a partner or not, and you should have treated her as that. I can guarantee if things doing work out with your new woman, you would expect her to be there for you again. And I hope she isn't. She sounds like she has been a good friend. friends don't ditch friends for new boyfriends or girlfriends.
Also, it sounds like you are extremely scared to be alone. That will also lead to disaster. You are rushing things with this new person at lightning speed it seems. Also remember, all relationships seem great in the beginning. It takes years to really know someone and build something, not two months.
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