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I'm 39 and I have been with my partner for 8 years we've had our ups and downs and about a 2 years ago I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis after which when I was at my lowest he decided to cheat on me with a 19 year old he worked with, we got back together but I'm struggling, im struggling with my health and with my sanity I feel the relationship is empty there's nothing there for me, I do love him (hence why I'm still with him) my libido has totally gone which isn't helping ...... I just feel like I would be much happier on my own and to concentrate on myself than have to worry about his feelings too, I don't know what do anyone have a little advice please?
Just ask yourself,in many years when you are lying on your deathbed, will you wish you had spent more time making yourself unhappy to stay in a relationship ?
Not a lot of information here to go on, but sounds pretty toxic.
Maybe some counselling would help, maybe not.
You already know what to do, you don't need our approval.
I'm 39 and I have been with my partner for 8 years we've had our ups and downs and about a 2 years ago I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis after which when I was at my lowest he decided to cheat on me with a 19 year old he worked with, we got back together but I'm struggling, im struggling with my health and with my sanity I feel the relationship is empty there's nothing there for me, I do love him (hence why I'm still with him) my libido has totally gone which isn't helping ...... I just feel like I would be much happier on my own and to concentrate on myself than have to worry about his feelings too, I don't know what do anyone have a little advice please?
You said you would be happier on your own, not to mention he cheated on you with a 19 year old. The answer seems clear. Don't be afraid to be alone, it might actually be a relief at this point. Sorry you are having health issues.
I know I would be happier on my own it's just letting him go, we have a son together so he will still have to be part of our lives which will make it hard, thanks guys I just needed to talk and have an outside view
My diagnosis of RA when I was around 40 hit me very hard. I could hardly walk and it scared me badly. I already felt very vulnerable, and if DH would have had an affair when I was going through, I don't think I could have forgiven him. Add what feels like an old lady disease, and a 19 year old on TOP of the affair.....
You need someone who will have your back, not kick you while your down.
Best wishes.
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I know your right, it did hit me hard I took him back cause I wanted the pain to stop but I immediately regretted it. It's been a year since his affair and I still regret the decision to this day ��
I'm 39 and I have been with my partner for 8 years we've had our ups and downs and about a 2 years ago I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis after which when I was at my lowest he decided to cheat on me with a 19 year old he worked with, we got back together but I'm struggling, im struggling with my health and with my sanity I feel the relationship is empty there's nothing there for me, I do love him (hence why I'm still with him) my libido has totally gone which isn't helping ...... I just feel like I would be much happier on my own and to concentrate on myself than have to worry about his feelings too, I don't know what do anyone have a little advice please?
Sorry you're in that situation, sad to hear. I hate hearing stories about cheating because unless you are a sociopath it harms both people.
With a 19 years old girl too, god damn some men have no brains in their heads.
I can't say what to do, that is something you need to really sleep on.
Good luck either way and best to you on the medical issues front.
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