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l'm slightly stuck right now and so trying to figure all this out , so if you've ever been through similar or just have any thoughts or advice l'd love to hear about it.
l went through divorce 6yrs ago, spent 3 yrs alone and just meeting a few people but then l met gf 1 and well it was love day one,
But it was also a rocky and on off thing andddd, it was also long distance until someone could move and eventually we broke up with just too many obstacles.
That was only 8mths ago .
lt was hard and l'll never forget her rocky or not and l still have trouble..
But ,,,, out of the blue l met gf 2, just over 2mths ago.
l wasn't looking and still needed time, l really only expected a bit of company really.
3 weeks later she came to stay a just week and she's been here ever since 6wks now.
She lives interstate but we met her while she was visiting anddd she's still here .
She's a great girl , 49 , heart of gold and we get along surprisingly well and just exist here together hassle free like two peas in a pod.
She loves me to bits butttt, l just can't for the life of me figure out what l feel and l'm at a total loss.
Really , l am so blessed to have just stumbled over her after everything else . She knows about the ex gf and me getting over all that and she's patient and understands.
l'd be a mad man to lose her or throw it away , this strange second chance that just fell in front of me.
But my feelings are everywhere and too often on ex gf too.
l never in a million years thought l'd ever be asking this question but l just can't tell how l feel or know how to figure it all out .
You're still not over you previous gf. And it's not fair to the new girlfriend that you're feeling this way.
I been where you're at once, and its an emotional roller-coaster. I vowed, I would never jump from one committed relatioship to the next without giving myself time to heal. You might not realize it, but you're using her as an emotional crutch (rebound). The problem with doing this is that she might not be the woman you want to be with after you heal.
Since she moved in without giving you time to grow strong feelings, you probably haven’t developed the kind of desire based on missing someone.
Maybe she needs to go home for awhile and let you have some alone time. It’ll be hard, but it’s for the best. Then you can decide how much companionship you want.
No matter how perfect someone is in the moment or in general, it doesn't matter if your heart is not in it. I haven't been interested in anyone for years, and I have had some good suitors in my circle but I'm not interested. But I know the reason why. Op, you need to get to the root of this "block."
God , can't believe how spot on you guys are , so obvious, NOW, when it's pointed out like this, thanks very muchly for sayin it how you see it.
Yaknow , so many people just go play round at times like this, well l wasn't looking to just play around l know that won't work for me. But we got along and had a lot in common , and l certainly liked her a lot at that stage , so she come up for the wkend , that's kinda still going.
But , sadly you all spot on , l'm blocked and conflicted and too messed up to know wth !!!!
l honestly can't believe though that with everything that she is , it hasn't all just over powered this ex thing.
l must be crazy .
But Aurallea you met them buttt, it just wasn't there for you either.
If you drop back just wondering, have you since ever looked back and regretted not following things through with someone in particular ?
Maybe one was perfect for you do you think you did the right thing walking away ?
Anyway yeah , l get the time and usual process needed to grow and miss and figure out and l've wondered if she was coming and going with time in between the way something would usually start off, how l would feel then.
She does have to go back to her city in 2 weeks for a few days for business, l haven't known wth to do. Make that a few weeks, months.
l'm gonna miss the hell out of her now but , l guess that has to be for the right reasons , right.
Sounds like l better go with that and sort myself out.
I don't mean this as an insult or attack but have you considered that you may not be ready or wanting a full-time normal relationship? I think sometimes that's the case with people who get into long-distance relationships or get with unavailable people (i.e. married, etc). And if you find yourself gravitating towards these types of relationships repeatedly, then that's a sure sign that this is the case. So what I'm saying is that you thought you were happier with the long-distance girl but that really wasn't a real relationship. It was mostly just in both your heads, and when it came time to make it real, the "fantasy" of it became apparent. Do you think that maybe you enjoy the idea of something more than the real thing?
Ehya sr .
No probs but nope l'm def' not attracted to LDR .
Ex was pure torture for us both surviving or 4 mths a year together and this one l had no idea she lived in another state l met her here while she was visiting and she's been living with me ever since.
l want real life , l just can't figure all this out because of ex, time, stuff.
l do know though in another life l would def' be in love with gf now l think , right now though, l just can't feel wth is going on with me.
But Aurallea you met them buttt, it just wasn't there for you either.
If you drop back just wondering, have you since ever looked back and regretted not following things through with someone in particular ?
Maybe one was perfect for you do you think you did the right thing walking away ?
No. I never regretted walking away. I've thought about it in the long run but deep down inside I know I didn't truly want those men. I only regretted not telling one person how I felt, but that's only because he was the only one I "thought" I cared for.
When you meet someone new and they dont immediately make you forget about the ex, then it likely wont hit you. When youre not ready youre not ready. Otherwise you will continue this same way with the current lady and never get over the ex, and new lady doesnt get a chance. You also need more time (in your heart) to realize that the ex was a bad match in the first place. That will help you move on better.
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