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Yeah, but it would seem they want their mate to be "perfect" before considering a quick meet n greet, sadly.
This is the downside of OLD and why I've never tried it. I don't think it's natural to meet partners by browsing through profiles with your "perfect" person in mind. I think we are supposed to just naturally come across people throughout our lives, develop attraction, and eventually stay with the ones we can make it work with. It's like people are trying to do it backwards and at hyper-speed. And this causes pain to people as they are rejected at a rate that would never normally occur in everyday non-internet life. People become bitter over time, making them even less desirable.
It's an ugly cycle and in my opinion, online dating is bad for society in general. I think I could only ever do it if I was just looking for casual dating and to see if anything happened to click with someone. I couldn't do it as a way to search for my perfect partner/lover.
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Originally Posted by Cillimanili
Seeing the comments so far it looks like I'm way less judgement than the average person unless only those specific people answered.
It's not about being "judgmental" though. It's about having standards that you know you need to be happy. Most people who are older, late 30s or 40s+ have already had plenty of relationships. We know what we need and what we can compromise.
Some people are probably judgmental on top of this, but I don't think anyone who is looking for certain standards is judgmental. And not everyone has the same standards. I wouldn't care if a guy had perfect looks or made a lot of money. I have other standards though.
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Originally Posted by somebodynew
I don't really get these kinds of complaints. What does too picky mean? Or "overdo" the sarcasm? If they don't suit you, they don't owe you. Move along. They can be as picky as they like. Why wouldn't someone want a partner that they are attracted to or they can converse with on the same educational level? Or why wouldn't someone want someone who can take care of themselves financially?
Exactly. I'm a firm believer that you can't be "too picky". Not if you're being honest with yourself about what you need to be happy with someone.
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Originally Posted by timberline742
Agreed. Having criteria other than they are good looking and fun is more a sign of maturity than not.
Yep!
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Originally Posted by MisterShipWreck
When I was first looking at dating website prior to meeting my current girlfriend - I found many women claiming: "Do not contact me if you voted for Trump." Wow....
This is what I mean... Why is that "Wow"? I would not date a Trump supporter. I want to be with someone I'm aligned with. We don't have to agree on stupid small things like our favorite food or television show, but incompatibility over politics would be a huge disagreement, just like other big things like religion. To each their own, but wanting to be aligned on major things is simply wanting to be compatible. That's not being too picky in the slightest.
I've seen that too. I obliged, blocked her. I'd do the same thing if the person named was "Hillary."
I'm not into political activists. I'm negative on both extremes. Anybody who puts a political agenda on their profile is nobody I want to know.
In fairness I would not say, "do not contact me if you voted for Trump" but if I found out that a man was a Trump supporter or saw indications of it in his profile, I would not be interested. I would bet that there would be plenty of other indicators of his political positions.
But I'm not sure I'd be thrilled with a Hillary supporter, either.
Like someone could give me rational reasons for voting either way that I'd accept, but if they are zealous about belonging to one team or the other... Pass. That's why I have been using the word, "supporter" rather than "voted for." Who someone voted for is none of my business really. But their general political leanings are of significance.
When I was first looking at dating website prior to meeting my current girlfriend - I found many women claiming: "Do not contact me if you voted for Trump." Wow....
I've seen similar from guys- or else, "I voted for Trump and if you have a problem with that we're not compatible". I find either point of view a deal-breaker. It tells me they've cut off dialogue with anyone who disagrees with them. I enjoy a spirited discussion with someone on the other side of an issue as long as we respect each other and listen to each other.
I realized in reading some of these posts that my late husband would not have met my criteria. (We met in a Bible study class.) He was 15 years older. He hadn't finished college (ran out of money and got sick trying to work at night and go to school during the day.) He made half what I did and he smoked. (He quit a year later- got tired of the price of cigarettes going up.)
Still, when I think of solving the issue of men wanting younger women by going for guys who are 5-10 years older, I'm reluctant. I saw DH fail in the last few years- partly from a condition that eventually killed him and partly because he was just getting old. (He died at 78.) I took up the slack as his stamina declined- more housecleaning, keeping track of his prescriptions, doing more of the errands, taking over renewing the car registrations after *I* got picked up for driving with an expired tag... but he was a dear man who took over most of the domestic details including cooking since I worked FT and he was retired and he was a spectacular stepfather to my son. I just don't want to increase the chances of that happening again by dating a guy who's a lot older.
I've seen that too. I obliged, blocked her. I'd do the same thing if the person named was "Hillary."
I'm not into political activists. I'm negative on both extremes. Anybody who puts a political agenda on their profile is nobody I want to know.
I agree. Anyone so passionate about their hatred for Trump that they feel the need to mention him on a dating profile and would immediately dismiss anyone who doesn’t share their views about him is not my kind of person.
If you never tried it, how do you know anything about it?
My best girlfriends have been in the OLD scene for years. Girlfriends share EVERYTHING. I was roommates with one of my close friends while she was most active in dating before meeting her boyfriend, so I got to see it all. I also have dude friends who are active on the apps and they tell me a lot too.
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Originally Posted by Lovehound
I don't want to discuss politics with the women I date, at all. That's like taking a bath with several blocks of ice sharing my tub.
If politics aren't a big part of your life, then it makes sense that you wouldn't care. And that's fine. But it's something I care deeply about. The people in this thread who are saying strong political passion is a dealbreaker for them are saying exactly what I'm saying but from the other side. You guys wouldn't like me. And that's okay. That's compatibility and why people look for it.
Same with religion. Prayer and discussions about God/spirituality are part of my everyday life. It wouldn't make sense to partner up with an atheist. I want someone I can share these things with.
It tells me they've cut off dialogue with anyone who disagrees with them. I enjoy a spirited discussion with someone on the other side of an issue as long as we respect each other and listen to each other.
No, it tells you that they're not looking for a partner who disagrees with them. Can you guys really not see the difference?
I know people who are Trump supporters, and I don't hate them. I'm not unwilling to have a discussion with them. There is a difference between friends and the person you choose to be your partner in life.
I guess I just don't get the perspective. I think it's totally natural to want a partner who is aligned with you on major things like politics and religion. You're looking for someone to share your life with. I'm amazed people don't understand this. But to each their own.
Why is that "Wow"? I would not date a Trump supporter. I want to be with someone I'm aligned with. We don't have to agree on stupid small things like our favorite food or television show, but incompatibility over politics would be a huge disagreement, just like other big things like religion. To each their own, but wanting to be aligned on major things is simply wanting to be compatible. That's not being too picky in the slightest.
I am not going to get into my own personal political beliefs. That is not what this section of the site is for.
However, prior to this Trump election, I never saw people posting such thinks on their profiles. Granted, the last time I did dating websites was prior to my 2nd marriage. But, too many people buy into the idiotic stereo types of the other side. They are not always true.
I was definitely not a Hilary fan - but I probably would not have written to anyone that made fun of her in their profile either. I just think that doesn't really belong in a profile. Too many people believe the idiotic media of what people from "the other side" must be like.
That was all I was saying... Of all the things you can put in your profile that people give maybe 10 seconds of looking at before they move on to the next profile....
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I was roommates with one of my close friends while she was most active in dating before meeting her boyfriend, so I got to see it all. I also have dude friends who are active on the apps and they tell me a lot too. 