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I am 43, Asian. Divorced but no kids. I dated a man with kids and I didn't like how restricted it was to schedule activities with a man with kids. I was never the priority but I understood.
Now I am back on OLD, I ignored men with kids. One time I was being nice to reply that sorry I am looking for guys without kids. The person responded and said I am naive because most men at my age have kids and I will be alone forever. I do think there are still plenty single men in my age group who don't have kids. Or am I missing out a lot good men? But I really don't want to deal with kids and I don't want to work extra hard to get approval.
Some guy didn't like that your preferences excluded him so he tried to make you feel bad about it in an effort to validate himself. You don't have to justify or defend yourself at all.
Don't let what that guy said bother you, stick to your guns on this. I'm very much like you, 52 yo and I never wanted kids, and I never wanted to deal with someone else's kids. I vowed I'd never be in a relationship with a woman with kids, but I kind of softened a bit (just a little). I did get VERY lucky though in that the woman I have been with for about four years now has a grown daughter who is in her mid twenties and out of the house and is a doctor. In fact, she's on the other side of the country doing her residency now. I've only been with her a few times, but she is great and very independent (like her mom) and her job keeps her very busy. So, based on my experience I'd say maybe give someone with older children a try, and by this I mean in college or preferably out of college and on their own.
I'm hearing complaints from 50+ empty nesters griping about how they are meeting men THEIR age bracket who have kids still in elementary school. They are like "WTF?" Turns out, they married young women, and those women dumped their arses after a single-digit year marriage....after having kids.
So you have a 55 year old AARP card carrying member picking up little Jimmy from school with the rest of the 20/30-something parents from the school pick-up.
Yes, this scenario happens more than people think actually. Guys have a mid-life crisis, so they go out and find some woman 20 to 25 years younger to prove they still "got it", get her pregnant then she realizes what a mistake she made and divorces him. Some of the women I dated a few years ago stated this exact same thing that a lot of the guys they met my age had kids in second and third grade and this was an immediate deal-breaker for them, which I don't blame them at all. That's part of the reason I think why I was inundated with responses when I started OKC.
Last edited by david0966; 10-13-2018 at 09:30 AM..
Why get wrapped up over some rando stranger's thoughts about who you should date? I had men twice and nearly three times my age tell me that I must date older men. Um, no, I 'must' date whoever I want to date.
No one but you gets to decide who you think is a potential fit for you. I wouldn't even waste two brain cells worrying about how others perceive my dating choices.
Guys are always trying to convince you to go out with them. Whatever standard or preference you have, they don't believe it is valid, but you have to do what makes you happy and stay tuned into yourself.
Guys are always trying to convince you to go out with them. Whatever standard or preference you have, they don't believe it is valid, but you have to do what makes you happy and stay tuned into yourself.
Believe it or not, I've known devout Christian men try to convince atheist women to date them. The atheist always reject them, for obvious reasons. lol
Believe it or not, I've known devout Christian men try to convince atheist women to date them. The atheist always reject them, for obvious reasons. lol
formosa, I agree w/ you. I'm exactly your age & if I didn't have my fiance' (who never had kids either as I), I wouldn't want to deal w/ a guy w/ kids either. I guess if they were already grown & out of the house, I guess maybe OK. I'll have to see about that too since I never had to face that before.
However, naive is NOT the word to describe this preference. Yes, many people our age do have kids already & I'll easily say MOST do, but if that's our preference, that's our preference. If it means be ending up alone, well, I guess so be it.
Believe it or not, I've known devout Christian men try to convince atheist women to date them. The atheist always reject them, for obvious reasons. lol
It's not a big deal. I dated an atheist. Just respect each other's choices.
OP wants to enjoy life without the immediate family thing. I get it and she should do whatever she feels is the right fit for her.
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