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My husband who is 55 years old looks at porn, women for hours on the internet, our sex life sucks, I have talked to him about this, but her laughs at me..and tells women are beautiful . it really bothers me. Why so much?
Make sure you have porn on with some hunky guy in it, when your husband walks into the room and sees you watching it, and tell him "I wish I was with this guy"
I always thought one near at hand is better than a dozen on the screen, but I'm not your husband. He doesn't seem to have become a mature individual. He doesn't seem interested in fixing the problem and seems stuck in fantasy. How did your relationship get this way? This isn't simply about intimacy, but about the currency of exchange in your interactions. There is much left out relative to how the rest of his life is not functional.
I don't think any good direction can be found in making him jealous - that will only stoke the fire and suggest permission to ogle others. This is something slightly more elusive, and should be addressed on a more personal level, when he is not watching porn and when you have his full attention. I think you should add a bit more to this story. This is not about voyeurism but about providing a historical context to his behavior and your being together.
Porn isn't necessarily bad, but if it starts negatively affecting your relationship/sex life it is a problem.
But out of curiosity, which came first, the porn or the lousy sex life? Is he using porn to avoid real intimacy, or as a substitute for intimacy that isn't there?
Yes, and then explain to him how beautiful the men's bodies are who are hired for porn.
Precisely. I would emphasize also their grooming habits.
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