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That's the only reason I can think of if someone asked me right after sex how I learned to crush it soo damn good, Lol. I'm just not sure what benefits she would get contacting past sexual partners of mine. But yeah whatever.
I just find it strange and fascinating that some people would want to know such personal questions from your past sexual experiences, especially right after sex. Maybe, its the endorphin/oxytocin rush right after an orgasm/s.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hawaiiancoconut
That's the only reason I can think of if someone asked me right after sex how I learned to crush it soo damn good, Lol. I'm just not sure what benefits she would get contacting past sexual partners of mine. But yeah whatever.
I just find it strange and fascinating that some people would want to know such personal questions from your past sexual experiences, especially right after sex. Maybe, its the endorphin/oxytocin rush aright fter an orgasm/s.
I think there are all sorts of reasons, from just mere curiosity, to getting turned on hearing about it, to wanting to learn what the person is into, etc.
I don't think that there is one right answer for this one. It depends on the people involved.
My ex used to grill me for details, names, dates, number of times, all sorts of dirt, on my sexual history. At first I thought he was open-minded and wanting to know all about me and willing to let me share, and it seemed like a good thing, like we were each an open book to the other. In time, though, I realized he would trot out things I had said, to make points in arguments, and that he was in fact gathering intelligence to use against me, or to shame me or control me with. It became VERY uncomfortable. Even in cases of talking about good memories of cherished former partners, like he wanted to take and taint and sully them. It was...kind of gross and awful.
My present partner, he is willing to hear me if I needed to talk about something, but it's clear to me (not from him saying anything direct but rather from his body language and the fact that mostly he doesn't ask) that he would really rather not hear details for the most part. I did (and do) feel the need to be honest regarding the extent of my experience and any general facts that I think have shaped my mindset. Some of my attitudes and opinions would be pretty weird, if it were not for my life history that formed them. And I can think of at least one case, involving a pair of former partners he actually knows and we are both friends with and he's completely comfortable with the fact that I was with them...where there was a funny story I have shared with him and others, and he doesn't mind hearing it. Because, well...it's funny.
He had very limited experiences before me, and he isn't very comfortable discussing his relative lack of history with women. He did not tell me how inexperienced he was when we met or when we started dating, I sort of had to get it out of him after we'd been together a little while. I am interested in his past, whatever he feels ok talking about, because I love him so much and I guess my mindset is...if every detail of his lived experience were recorded in a film or a book, I'd be the first in line for an autographed copy. I'm his biggest fan. So anything he wishes to share, I'm eager to hear. But then...I'm not the jealous kind, at least not where other actual partners are concerned. Doesn't bug me.
My advice for an adult virgin would be not to offer up the information until a point where you both feel very good and positive toward one another and invested enough for vulnerability to be appropriate.
On the flip side, as an experienced woman, I have felt it more appropriate to let potential partners be aware of at least the general extent of my history before we become sexually involved, really pretty early on. I know it could be a deal breaker for some guys. That's ok, they've got a right to want what they want, I'm not hiding or misrepresenting anything, and I am not ashamed of my life. I won't get all into detail, but they'll know enough to make an informed choice. Now, for some women, an older virgin might be a deal breaker, so...yeah, I dunno. By that token, maybe it would be ethical to disclose.
I don't think that there is one right answer for this one. It depends on the people involved.
My ex used to grill me for details, names, dates, number of times, all sorts of dirt, on my sexual history. At first I thought he was open-minded and wanting to know all about me and willing to let me share, and it seemed like a good thing, like we were each an open book to the other. In time, though, I realized he would trot out things I had said, to make points in arguments, and that he was in fact gathering intelligence to use against me, or to shame me or control me with. It became VERY uncomfortable. Even in cases of talking about good memories of cherished former partners, like he wanted to take and taint and sully them. It was...kind of gross and awful.
My present partner, he is willing to hear me if I needed to talk about something, but it's clear to me (not from him saying anything direct but rather from his body language and the fact that mostly he doesn't ask) that he would really rather not hear details for the most part. I did (and do) feel the need to be honest regarding the extent of my experience and any general facts that I think have shaped my mindset. Some of my attitudes and opinions would be pretty weird, if it were not for my life history that formed them. And I can think of at least one case, involving a pair of former partners he actually knows and we are both friends with and he's completely comfortable with the fact that I was with them...where there was a funny story I have shared with him and others, and he doesn't mind hearing it. Because, well...it's funny.
He had very limited experiences before me, and he isn't very comfortable discussing his relative lack of history with women. He did not tell me how inexperienced he was when we met or when we started dating, I sort of had to get it out of him after we'd been together a little while. I am interested in his past, whatever he feels ok talking about, because I love him so much and I guess my mindset is...if every detail of his lived experience were recorded in a film or a book, I'd be the first in line for an autographed copy. I'm his biggest fan. So anything he wishes to share, I'm eager to hear. But then...I'm not the jealous kind, at least not where other actual partners are concerned. Doesn't bug me.
My advice for an adult virgin would be not to offer up the information until a point where you both feel very good and positive toward one another and invested enough for vulnerability to be appropriate.
On the flip side, as an experienced woman, I have felt it more appropriate to let potential partners be aware of at least the general extent of my history before we become sexually involved, really pretty early on. I know it could be a deal breaker for some guys. That's ok, they've got a right to want what they want, I'm not hiding or misrepresenting anything, and I am not ashamed of my life. I won't get all into detail, but they'll know enough to make an informed choice. Now, for some women, an older virgin might be a deal breaker, so...yeah, I dunno. By that token, maybe it would be ethical to disclose.
I agree with the bolded statement.
A relationship, and its boundaries, are defined and set by the two (or more) people in it. It in no one else's business.
Rarely. A new girlfriend usually doesn't want to know specifics of an ex. I may say "I like this," when I really liked doing it with that specific person, but I never say "I like this because of.."
For me, It would suffice to say you don't have much experience...and I'd be OK with that. Lack of experience is usually something that can be improved upon.
Otherwise, I might think you're just selfish, or uptight, or something like that.
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