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The concern several women have expressed for the almost certain disappointment older men who may want to date younger women will face is, well, let's say touching. I hope the guys take heed
Ha! Not me, I really don’t notice. Go for it. I need some substance, soul, history, things and experiences to talk about, someone who gets me. I can decide on the first in-person meeting. I feel lucky that age, economics, race, aren’t going to be the deciding factor. Having No Agenda is very freeing. I think that all happens when you know you’re “ok” on your own, so whatever will be will be.
Yeah, my Mom is the opposite. She thinks it's gross that I like old guys. She likes young, pretty men. Nevermind that her boyfriend has been homeless, rescuing his trainwreck family members who are in/out of jail, just not at all a stable person. He's young and hot tho! Psh. Nope. I find her taste gross, she finds my taste gross, and as I've pointed out to her many times, that's fine since I'm not trying to date her men and she isn't trying to date mine. Her father, my Grandpa, has argued with me multiple times that a "good lookin young lady" should be trying to marry a rich man. I forgive him this since he grew up in the Great Depression. He cannot understand why a woman would not trade the commodity of her youthful good looks for material prosperity, as he figures if he could do that, he would in a heartbeat.
My boyfriend is my Mother's age. My Mom is coming to visit me this weekend, and will be meeting him for the first time. That should be...interesting.
Not going to lie, I like good-looking men too, no matter the age, but I like them to be stable as well. So yeah, good looking and stable... and that's probably why I'm still single, lmao.
Anyway, please do entertain us and post about your meeting your mom's boyfriend. lol
Men and women want the other when the other are at their most attractive. Both will settle for less if(when) then can't get what they want. Unless in love with ones partner, either will seek to upgrade when presented with the possibility.
I was out on a date with an early 50s year old single, never been married woman (no kids) and not only here, but a few women I've spoken with, usually 50s and older, have expressed men around their age bracket desiring much younger women. Not for a fling, but an actual relationship.
And not necessarily for the purpose of having kids, just that they want some young thing on their arm.
I've heard complaints how lady empty nesters are finding deal breaking situations when finding divorced 50-something men with very young children. What happens there is that some 50-something year old man marries a 30 year old, they have kids, and she divorces him a few years later. So he's stuck paying for it until he's 6 feet under....unable to enjoy his retirement.
The woman I went out with, very beautiful, young looking, stays healthy by hitting the gym. Apparently "young looking" isn't good enough. She said one of her current guy friends said he didn't want to date her for that reason. I was like "That guy is crazy! lol"
I kind of thought the attraction factor of a 50-something year old woman that keeps a fit body, eats right, etc. would kind of be an equivalent as far as desirability is concerned?
I know a woman that said she has 2 female friends that were forced into "Cougarship" due to many men their age not desiring them. Forced into dating younger men. lol
But, I don't know, you ladies over 50, have you experienced this and if so how frequently?
I find this to be the norm. I will not date a man my age (I am early 50's). He must be several years older for the reasons that you state.
Men and women want the other when the other are at their most attractive. Both will settle for less if(when) then can't get what they want. Unless in love with ones partner, either will seek to upgrade when presented with the possibility.
My dating life pretty much dried up in the mid-40's due to age. The men I was meeting who were in mid-40's to early 50's were seeking 20-30 year olds and made no bones about it. It's not worth it for me to try to compete with that mindset and I'm certainly not going to date a 75 year old.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by smt1111
My dating life pretty much dried up in the mid-40's due to age. The men I was meeting who were in mid-40's to early 50's were seeking 20-30 year olds and made no bones about it. It's not worth it for me to try to compete with that mindset and I'm certainly not going to date a 75 year old.
Being mid 40s I find that completely inconceivable. I meet plenty of 20 somethings over the course of a week, and I just don't understand how the connection necessary needed to enter into a romantic or sexual relationship can be there. It's difficult enough to find with the early to mid 30s women that hit me up on OLD. Sure, they look nice, but they're 10+ years younger and in a very different place in life.
I have recently observed other men who have been swarmed over by younger ladies. So, yes I must say that I am a trophy myself [in comparison to those other men].
The inter-web says: "a young, attractive wife regarded as a status symbol for an older man".
Well, the inter-web isn't always very nice. I have no issue with you wanting a younger and attractive woman, and I won't even be all like, "Oh yeah, well what do YOU bring to the table, huh?" about it, but more significant to me is... Do YOU want a status symbol to impress other people with, or do you want a companion who brightens your environment with her pretty face and arouses you with her youthful body? Do you care what she thinks and how she feels, or would you be satisfied with a moron? Will you treat her kindly and lovingly, or will you consider her goods bought and paid for to be used as you wish?
That's the kind of thinking I ponder when I hear, "trophy wife." Melania doesn't look very happy, like, ever. You know? I wouldn't be if I were her. But then, I dunno, maybe she's just got some Russian version of RBF. But I tell ya something, as unappealing as I find our Prez, I could deal with a man who is his rough equivalent in terms of looks alone and age, but not one with his personality. Nope.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801
DO post details of the visit, if you feel so inclined.
I have a good friend who married a man 35 years her senior. She was very young when she met him, and he was a widower who kept himself in good shape. They once figured out that he turned 40 on the day she started kindergarten. He had a son older than she was.
They were happy until his death at 79. Had two children who were teenagers when he died. It has been nearly ten years, and she dates again, but she loved him and still mourns him.
He was a bit older than her parents, both of whom liked him.
I PRAY that the visit will be pleasant and uneventful...but...I know my Mom. *sigh* If she doesn't bring her cats, if her car doesn't break down, if she has gas money to get home, and if she doesn't try to move in with me in the next 6 months, I will consider this visit a success no matter what she thinks of my boyfriend honestly. lol!
I can nearly guarantee she will disapprove of my boyfriend, but ya know this is the same woman who, when I was a teenager and had a "hot" boy I was having sex with (another teenager, someone also in my high school) I would bring him upstairs to show him off to her and she'd flirt with them and later tell me which ones she thought were hottest. My Mom is weird and our relationship is weird. Always has been.
Me...I need to be able to have deep and complex conversations about philosophy, pop culture and geekery, tech, science, politics, religion, anything and everything, with the one I love. She doesn't even need them to speak a language she speaks, as long as they will do everything she wants them to. It's...squicky to me. At least as much as my "pervy" older guy will no doubt be to her (he and I joke about the "perv" part, as both of us are kinky and all that.)
Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth
Not going to lie, I like good-looking men too, no matter the age, but I like them to be stable as well. So yeah, good looking and stable... and that's probably why I'm still single, lmao.
Anyway, please do entertain us and post about your meeting your mom's boyfriend. lol
Well, so, my boyfriend is not bad looking. I talk about it as though he were I guess, but he isn't an ugly man. He looks great for his age; people guess him around 10 years younger, closer to 50 than 60. But he is very...average? Ordinary looking? Compared to just men in general. As I said to a couple of our guy posters here when I saw their photos, "You're not a bad looking man, but you wouldn't give me whiplash walking down the street or anything." In order to stand out for exceptional good looks, to ME, a man needs to not blend into the crowd. He's got to really stand out.
But it does not mean I want to date or have sex with him if he DOES stand out, in fact I have rejected men I saw as being "too pretty." (My reference for that is a man named Aurelio Voltaire Hernandez, he's my idea of too pretty. Google images of him here. Bear in mind I was a goth chick so...yeah.)
So anyhow. For a man who is almost 60, my guy looks great. For a guy, just...a guy, any guy...he looks like somebody's Dad on vacation. HE LOOKA LIKE A MAN! lol
Actually I think he looks much sexier now that he grew a bit of beard, I find it, along with the silver at his temples, to be very "devilishly handsome."
But yeah, contrast to what my Mom thinks I should want, some dude who looks like he walked off the pages of an International Male underwear catalog or something... Nah, I'll pass. Washboard abs do nothing for me.
In my 50s, I would not date if I found myself single again. I've outgrown the need to be wined and dined.
How do you feel about companionship? You have it now, I assume, would you miss it if you did not have it?
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