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Old 10-22-2018, 07:08 PM
 
Location: The ghetto
17,364 posts, read 8,962,351 times
Reputation: 13276

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Belle, where are you living now? Do you have a new job?
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Old 10-22-2018, 08:11 PM
 
2,916 posts, read 1,507,109 times
Reputation: 3112
Quote:
Originally Posted by codergirl View Post
This person is using you.He's NOT your friend.The fact that oh now he has a gf..what he was saying all that time was he didn't want YOU to be his gf for whatever stupid reason.Also you say now that he has a GF YET he still calls you ??Does the GF know this??Does she know his history with you??
This guy isn't respecting you and you need to step far away from this person.He wants his cake and eat it too.I know that you're hurting BUT you will continue to hurt as long as you're still his 'friend'.He is so disrespecting you and NOW you're allowing it.How rude and hurtful to tell someone that they don't want to be in a relationship YET when you turn around...oh...they're NOW in one...but it's not with you.You don't want any of that in the long run.He is also disrespecting his GF who probably knows NOTHING about his history with you nor him calling you...he's a piece of work.
Yes, the original poster needs to listen to this advice.
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Old 10-22-2018, 08:20 PM
 
Location: Central IL
20,726 posts, read 16,283,321 times
Reputation: 50370
I'm sorry Belle....people will say you "broke the rules" of an fwb by catching feelings. But HE broke them by saying he loved you and that he'd marry you except....bs.

He led you very far down a path - he should never had said those things but he was playing you.

Try to just take this as an experience to learn from. From your earlier posts I think you did get some positive things from it - you got to have some fun when your life was very hard....you got to go out to some different kinds of places you hadn't before, and I think you got a little confidence too. And I don't mean for you to think kindly of him because he treated you very badly, I'm just saying you had some new experiences.

Don't let this turn of events take you backwards. Just move on and keep the positive and get rid of the negative. You're a good person...you may not feel young but you are, and you're still learning.
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Old 10-22-2018, 08:23 PM
 
6,783 posts, read 4,763,740 times
Reputation: 26018
You can do better, even in another FWB. You need to respect yourself. Be glad you are not his girlfriend.
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Old 10-22-2018, 08:32 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,754,614 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63 View Post
I'm sorry Belle....people will say you "broke the rules" of an fwb by catching feelings. But HE broke them by saying he loved you and that he'd marry you except....bs.

He led you very far down a path - he should never had said those things but he was playing you.

Try to just take this as an experience to learn from. From your earlier posts I think you did get some positive things from it - you got to have some fun when your life was very hard....you got to go out to some different kinds of places you hadn't before, and I think you got a little confidence too. And I don't mean for you to think kindly of him because he treated you very badly, I'm just saying you had some new experiences.

Don't let this turn of events take you backwards. Just move on and keep the positive and get rid of the negative. You're a good person...you may not feel young but you are, and you're still learning.
Great advice!
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Old 10-22-2018, 08:40 PM
 
160 posts, read 85,232 times
Reputation: 94
This guy is a jackass! Kick him to the curb and never speak with him again. The more involved you are with him, the more you’ll get hurt. Stop seeing him NOW and find someone that thinks you’re goof enough!
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Old 10-23-2018, 10:43 AM
 
1,619 posts, read 1,095,983 times
Reputation: 3233
Whenever a man says he doesn't want a relationship, that means he doesn't want a relationship with YOU. He wants to keep you around for sex while in a "committed" relationship with his wife. That should make you feel awful.
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Old 10-23-2018, 12:13 PM
 
740 posts, read 451,940 times
Reputation: 1469
You short changed yourself. That old saying: "You can't expect someone to love you when you yourself don't love you". There are things in life you don't compromise. If you do, that is all what you are worth to them. Nothing more. And that is how they will always see you as.


You compromised and you lost. Live and learn.
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Old 10-23-2018, 12:33 PM
 
Location: Bloomington IN
8,590 posts, read 12,288,275 times
Reputation: 24248
Quote:
Originally Posted by belle woods View Post
No so back to being someones secret... it was fine when I knew about other girls and they knew about me it was all out in the open.



i just feel like i’m not good enough and I dont get why. his reasons are stupid. I am just lonely I guess
Belle, glad to see you posting again, but am sorry this is what it's about. It was predictable. I get a strong feeling you are not wired for a FWB situation. Nothing wrong with that at all. It's just not for you.

There is a difference between being good enough and being the right one for a person. Certainly you are "good enough," but it doesn't make you the right person for him (or him for you). His reasons aren't stupid. He has a right to think the way he thinks just as you do. What this says to me is that your values and his values are different enough that it would never work in the long run.

Consider the positive: you learned something about yourself--no FWB or no being someone's secret. You deserve better.
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Old 10-23-2018, 03:04 PM
 
Location: a primitive state
11,379 posts, read 24,385,676 times
Reputation: 17418
Quote:
Originally Posted by belle woods View Post
No so back to being someones secret... it was fine when I knew about other girls and they knew about me it was all out in the open.



i just feel like i’m not good enough and I dont get why. his reasons are stupid. I am just lonely I guess
Well, the good news is you’re older and wiser. You’re better off than you were before. In your next relationship, you will know not to accept being second best.

The sadness will wear off in time. Till then, take very good care of yourself so you’ll be healthy and happier before the next guy rolls in.

Everyone here is rooting for you.
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