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Ya at first I thought it was a fwb situation, but after reading the op’s reply I realized it’s more like a business transaction. The guy virtually pays her to have sex. She got money from having sex with the guy, so the guy probably feel a clear conscience. It’s naive of the op to even expect anything meaningful from this “relationship”. You’re not equal footed from the get go.
Ok well to be fair it didn’t start out that way. for most of our relationship he did pay for dates but later on he did give me money from time to time. not all the time. People don’t believe me but I have always been super independent paid my own bills, everything all by myself. of course growing up I did eat from food stamps and everything but once I got a job and became an adult I have always paid my own way. this is just a situation that got way in over my head. once I accepted the money the relationship went bad quick bc it made me feel like I had to do certain things. the relationship became cold once I didn’t want to do certain things anymore. Not bc of the money but because of other reasons that I cant talk about. we broke up right after we talked about moving into together and right after i moved to a new motel. Then later he contacted me again he was sorry about his actions but once we saw each other he said he had a girlfriend and only wanted me on the side w/ money involved.
Basically it wasn’t me he likes, it was the physical stuff. which makes me feel like crap. just wish he hadnt of lies about it. I just feel bad about myself and everything.
Ok well to be fair it didn’t start out that way. for most of our relationship he did pay for dates but later on he did give me money from time to time. not all the time. People don’t believe me but I have always been super independent paid my own bills, everything all by myself. of course growing up I did eat from food stamps and everything but once I got a job and became an adult I have always paid my own way. this is just a situation that got way in over my head. once I accepted the money the relationship went bad quick bc it made me feel like I had to do certain things. the relationship became cold once I didn’t want to do certain things anymore. Not bc of the money but because of other reasons that I cant talk about. we broke up right after we talked about moving into together and right after i moved to a new motel. Then later he contacted me again he was sorry about his actions but once we saw each other he said he had a girlfriend and only wanted me on the side w/ money involved.
Pretty sure it was never a "relationship" on his part and his "girlfriend" is probably his wife...and well he's a perv.
Moving in together? Was this before or after he sold you the whole "off to Paris!" BS?
You need to get out of a motel. It's costing you more in the long run.
And no more guys. Zero. None. Until you have your life in order and then...wait another year.
Basically it wasn’t me he likes, it was the physical stuff. which makes me feel like crap. just wish he hadnt of lies about it. I just feel bad about myself and everything.
Don't give him that much control over your head space. You decide what you are worth. No one else.
Don't give him that much control over your head space. You decide what you are worth. No one else.
I agree.
Just use it as a learning experience, please.
You went in KNOWING it wasn't for you. You chose to be a party to this, because so many of us warned you not to do it before it got too involved.
So what you are doing is experiencing the natural consequences of a bad decision.
The best way to feel good about yourself is to remember this feeling and use it to remind yourself that you do not want to feel that way ever again. It will help you make better decisions from now on.
This wasn't an FWB, this was a older man paying a very young, uneducated and naive person to have kinky sex with him. Person was warned by dozens of posters not to let it continue or she would get hurt and end up on the street. Which of course happened. Again.
It's not really fair to characterize her as a hooker. She thought it was a FWB situation with a generous guy. He may have viewed it differently, but she wasn't intending to sell herself.
It's not really fair to characterize her as a hooker. She thought it was a FWB situation with a generous guy. He may have viewed it differently, but she wasn't intending to sell herself.
That's my interpretation anyway.
I wasn't characterizing anything. You put the label on. My statement was purely factual. What's unfair about that? Read back and see how many times she was warned against exactly what happened. This story unfolded like a soap opera, with everyone shouting "stop!" right before the cliffhanger.
This wasn't an FWB, this was a older man paying a very young, uneducated and naive person to have kinky sex with him. Person was warned by dozens of posters not to let it continue or she would get hurt and end up on the street. Which of course happened. Again.
Quote:
Originally Posted by redplum33
It's not really fair to characterize her as a hooker. She thought it was a FWB situation with a generous guy. He may have viewed it differently, but she wasn't intending to sell herself.
That's my interpretation anyway.
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa
I wasn't characterizing anything. You put the label on. My statement was purely factual. What's unfair about that? Read back and see how many times she was warned against exactly what happened. This story unfolded like a soap opera, with everyone shouting "stop!" right before the cliffhanger.
I've read the older discussions, and I agree it unfolded like a soap opera. I was referring to the following statement:
"this was a older man paying a very young, uneducated and naive person to have kinky sex with him"
My understanding is that they were in a relationship (FWB?) and he was helping her with her rent. At some point, he started requesting some sexual stuff she wasn't very comfortable with. She went along with it because she didn't want to upset him and risk losing his financial help.
I'm not going to say your statement is inaccurate, but I think it unfairly paints an inaccurate picture.
Well, the good news is you’re older and wiser. You’re better off than you were before. In your next relationship, you will know not to accept being second best.
The sadness will wear off in time. Till then, take very good care of yourself so you’ll be healthy and happier before the next guy rolls in.
Everyone here is rooting for you.
I read through the entire thread--I think this is the best response.
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