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Old 10-24-2018, 02:11 PM
 
212 posts, read 147,828 times
Reputation: 83

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I’ve been having emotional break since yesterday, I cried today for first time in months.

Basically this week my ex has been contacting me, just checking in, telling me he misses, He wants to see me.
He said he wants us reconnect.

I told him out right that we are done and just goodbye to me, he said why do you want me to say goodbye I am not going anywhere. I said I thought we understood we are over. He says “yes but we can still talk” I said “what is there to talk about”
. He said in sulking way “fine, I see you don’t want that, it’s clear to me now, we don’t have to talk anymore, take care”

Although, I stayed firm in insisting we were over, my heart was breaking.
I’ve missed him so much.
I know I’ve been distracting myself with the new guy, but when I am with the new guy all I think about is him, even when he kisses, I imagine and wishes it was him.
Even when are watching a movie together, I wish it was him and let’s not even mention the bedroom.

I cried so much today, knowing it was the last time he will try to contact me. I told him I never want to talk to him and there is no point. But I do want to talk him, I know what he did was wrong and horrible (but he doesn’t know I know he was going behind my back.

He even had the audacity to say to me, he wasn’t seeing anyone else while we were together when I didn’t even mention him seeing anyone else. I think that was his guilty conscious talking out loud.

Sometime, I feel just seeing him just one last time.

I know me reaching out to him would be Self-destructive but I am scared I will end up reaching out to him.
Talk some sense into me people
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Old 10-24-2018, 02:25 PM
 
Location: The ghetto
17,392 posts, read 8,969,883 times
Reputation: 13278
Gemma, keep reminding yourself that he's a liar and a cheater.
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Old 10-24-2018, 02:26 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,761,388 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gemma25 View Post

I know me reaching out to him would be Self-destructive...
You're doing good talking to yourself

If there was ever a time to block someone's number, it's now. He was cruel to call you like that.

You DON'T want to got there again. You miss the romanticized version of him that you thought you were dating. But you KNOW he was actively trying to cheat on you.

And if you really aren't into this new guy, don't stay with him.
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Old 10-24-2018, 02:40 PM
 
212 posts, read 147,828 times
Reputation: 83
Quote:
Originally Posted by redplum33 View Post
Gemma, keep reminding yourself that he's a liar and a cheater.
There is times I forget the bad things he did.
And I just remember the good things.
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Old 10-24-2018, 02:44 PM
 
212 posts, read 147,828 times
Reputation: 83
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle View Post
You're doing good talking to yourself

If there was ever a time to block someone's number, it's now. He was cruel to call you like that.

You DON'T want to got there again. You miss the romanticized version of him that you thought you were dating. But you KNOW he was actively trying to cheat on you.

And if you really aren't into this new guy, don't stay with him.
I’ve tried deleting his number today but I stop.
I don’t know but it just feel cruel thing to do to someone and the thought of never hearing from him it’s just too hard to bear.


The new guy, he is sweet but I don’t see it going anywhere and I think it will just fizzle out soon.
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Old 10-24-2018, 02:57 PM
 
553 posts, read 301,076 times
Reputation: 781
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gemma25 View Post
I’ve tried deleting his number today but I stop.
I don’t know but it just feel cruel thing to do to someone and the thought of never hearing from him it’s just too hard to bear.


The new guy, he is sweet but I don’t see it going anywhere and I think it will just fizzle out soon.
You are going through the normal grieving process.

Whether you never contact him again, or drag it out by calling him, you will cry, feel sad but more importantly you WILL eventually get over him.

We’ve all been there, contacting an ex after it’s over, and it leads to prolonging the pain. That’s why we are saying not to contact him again. But even if the pain is prolonged, you will eventually get over him.

The important thing is to take care of yourself, and don’t beat yourself up whatever you decide to do. I definitely get the urge to call him up. It took me experiencing what it’s like to keep calling up an ex before I got the strength to totally go no contact after a failed relationship.

It will take some time to feel better.
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Old 10-24-2018, 03:34 PM
 
13,262 posts, read 7,980,529 times
Reputation: 30753
Do you have a girlfriend you can call, come over, drink wine and trash talk the ex?


Sometimes, it's really helpful to just have a ***** session, you know?


I've been where you are. It hurts. It REALLY hurts. I'm sorry Gemma.
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Old 10-24-2018, 09:10 PM
 
Location: Middle of the valley
48,436 posts, read 34,636,835 times
Reputation: 73585
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gemma25 View Post
There is times I forget the bad things he did.
And I just remember the good things.
Go over all those bad things, and pretend it is your GF saying those things about a guy she is dating. What would YOUR advice be?
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Old 10-24-2018, 10:15 PM
 
15,013 posts, read 21,608,099 times
Reputation: 12334
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gemma25 View Post
I’ve been having emotional break since yesterday, I cried today for first time in months.

Basically this week my ex has been contacting me, just checking in, telling me he misses, He wants to see me.
He said he wants us reconnect.

I told him out right that we are done and just goodbye to me, he said why do you want me to say goodbye I am not going anywhere. I said I thought we understood we are over. He says “yes but we can still talk” I said “what is there to talk about”
. He said in sulking way “fine, I see you don’t want that, it’s clear to me now, we don’t have to talk anymore, take care”

Although, I stayed firm in insisting we were over, my heart was breaking.
I’ve missed him so much.
I know I’ve been distracting myself with the new guy, but when I am with the new guy all I think about is him, even when he kisses, I imagine and wishes it was him.
Even when are watching a movie together, I wish it was him and let’s not even mention the bedroom.

I cried so much today, knowing it was the last time he will try to contact me. I told him I never want to talk to him and there is no point. But I do want to talk him, I know what he did was wrong and horrible (but he doesn’t know I know he was going behind my back.

He even had the audacity to say to me, he wasn’t seeing anyone else while we were together when I didn’t even mention him seeing anyone else. I think that was his guilty conscious talking out loud.

Sometime, I feel just seeing him just one last time.

I know me reaching out to him would be Self-destructive but I am scared I will end up reaching out to him.
Talk some sense into me people
Gemma, gemma, gemma... poor girl.

I know how you are feeling. I went through this with my ex a couple of months ago. It takes me a long time to get over relationships when they end and it took me a year to get over him where I was starting to not feel any pain or longing for him anymore. Then out of the blue, he started calling me again wanting to get back together or be friends and it just re-opened the wound again and restarted the healing process all over again, although it is going a lot faster now. I have determined that I really can't have contact with him again and I think this is true for you, as well. And yes, you need to keep dating and looking for someone that you can have that connection with again. You will find him. It just takes time. For me (and I'm a lot older than you) it only comes around once every 5 years or so. So I have a while to go. Lol I hope it comes sooner for you.

Last edited by srjth; 10-24-2018 at 10:56 PM..
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Old 10-25-2018, 04:31 AM
 
12,585 posts, read 16,914,439 times
Reputation: 15256
When guys sense you are head over heels for them many take advantage of that.

You have to show him you are no longer going to put up with his garbage.

Never, NEVER contact him!
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