Leave "relationship" or stay? (man, jealous, friends, conversation)
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You really have no right to be possessive or jealous since your relationship started with her "leaving another man for you." You damn sure don't have the right to snoop. Its text book. You knew what kind of person she was when she got with you. Play the role you were given. I don't understand why people have no problem getting with people who cheat or are "fresh out of a relationship," then act all paranoid and insecure. It makes no sense. And you wonder why you've been "burned" in the past. You probably have a history of going after unavailable women. That's your fault.
A lot of people can't just disconnect and leave a part of their life behind. This is a necessary life skill because everybody is going to get butt hurt from time to time, that's part of life. Don't well on it. Move on with your life, and end up in a better place.
So many relationship problems I see in real life are people who don't belong together, they're incompatible, but because of insecurity they won't move on. If they just move on they'll have a chance to meet a better match.
You put relationship in quotes. That means you don't think its a relationship.
If a relationship is what you want, I would ask her directly. Her answer will be yes, no or maybe.... After 5 months, maybe means no.
If she says yes, then you should change your FB to include her. If she balks at that, I think that means she wants to keep you on stand by.
I would not mention the snooping. You do not owe that to her at this point. Remember that if you want to snoop is because you want to find out something you are already find suspicious. I don't blame you for wanting for find out. What you are finding out is she doesn't consider you her bf. Act accordingly.
So to clarify she pursued me as soon as she broke up with her ex. I knew she liked me before they split. I didnt give her any guarantees that i would take her. I understand she was fresh out of a serious relationship but she said it was over for good.
So at the 2 and a half month mark she told me she loved me, so i assumed we were bf and gf even though we never had "the talk". I asked if shed like to make us official on fb and she said not yet as she didnt want to hurt her ex. So i just changed mine to "in relationship" but not specifically with her. She did the same but hid it so only she could see it. I understand this is just facebook but she was more than happy to display her relationship with her ex.
So at 3 months in he contacted her and she replied instantly to him. There was about 100 messages. He told her he still loved her and she said she still loved him. She told him if she worked out what she wanted she would tell him. He said she was going to hurt me if she went back to him and she replied saying she knew that. But he also said he was dating others and she wished him luck. But she denied we were in a relationship. Even though my fb was showing i was. He also asked were they over for good or something and her reply was "im not sure"
Also about 2 months in we met her ex at a bar. I put my arm around her at one point and i could feel her trying to get away as he was close by.
So yeah maybe i should not have snooped but she is clearly keeping him interested or she is still interested. But that was 2 months ago so maybe now she is completely over him.
I have some advice. Quit focusing on FB. Realize that she is torn between the two of you. If you want to be the winner, just let it slide whatever she has with him. Keep a cool head and keep up the affection. Don't snoop her phone. Just let nature take its course.
This is true for men and women: when your lover starts going emo and drama they drive you away.
Don't go emo and skip the drama (and skip the FB too). Her "in a relationship" privately is plain stupid. She did that just to appease you. Don't ask for appeasement from your lover.
Just be the best lover you can be, be the man she wants. Any mistake at this point may cause you to lose her. Remember she's with you, not him. Your job is to keep things that way. Just stay calm and cool.
I know this type. She is not a one man type of woman, imho. She's on the lookout for someone better and will probably be always. Or to put it another way, right now, its your turn, but next week, it could be someone elses. Dont invest a lot of money or trouble with this one.
I have some advice. Quit focusing on FB. Realize that she is torn between the two of you. If you want to be the winner, just let it slide whatever she has with him. Keep a cool head and keep up the affection. Don't snoop her phone. Just let nature take its course.
This is true for men and women: when your lover starts going emo and drama they drive you away.
Don't go emo and skip the drama (and skip the FB too). Her "in a relationship" privately is plain stupid. She did that just to appease you. Don't ask for appeasement from your lover.
Just be the best lover you can be, be the man she wants. Any mistake at this point may cause you to lose her. Remember she's with you, not him. Your job is to keep things that way. Just stay calm and cool.
Okay, suppose I stay, what is the likelihood of her going back to her ex?
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