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We get people on here often, mostly guys, complaining about lukewarm women who will text endlessly don't want to meet and just seem to be using them for attention. That's what you're doing here.
Thus the negativity of my earlier comment. I'm online dating to find my soul mate. PPL who are just jerking chains are just annoying and wasting my time.
For women who respond to my messages I try to triage them quickly and lose the ones who are not also looking for just one exclusive relationship. IMO you can find pen pals on forums easier. I have plenty of pen pals here on C-D. Sex ratio is about 50/50. I like having pen pals, particularly international friends. They keep me grounded in what the rest of the world thinks of America. (Not good according to my "sister" in South Africa or my "bro" in Ukraine.) My friend in Australia won't even talk to me because he hates our President, even though I've never discussed politics or DT with him. He holds me guilty because I'm an American. Whatever America does is all my fault.
Having pen pals is fine. I just don't want them to waste my time on OLD sites. Fortunately some OLD sites have check boxes to indicate interest. I skip all profiles that aren't looking for a LTR.
I never initiate the contact, he always does. But it’s all about tidbits in life.... feels like pen pal...
I do that too sometimes to other guys when I’m bored... Im not interested enough to actually meet them in person, but don’t mind texting, it feels like I have someone to talk to more candidly than real life friends.
Sound like he’s doing the exact same thing. He’s texting you when he’s bored and not asking to see you. The only difference is maybe he’s really sick in which case, he’s going to be contagious for 3 week. Just let this unfold naturally. Soon enough you too are going to be bored with the texting and this will probably fizzle out.
Why don’t you break things off now since he’s going to be gone for so many months soon? I think that is pretty reasonable and he would understand. You could tell him that the relationship didn’t have a lot of time to fully solidify before he goes out of town (not his fault, you understand that he was sick). But that you really need to know the guy better and have a more solid foundation before committing to what will soon be a long distance relationship.
You can start seeing him again when he’s back. Or maybe you will have met someone else. It’s too early in this relationship for him to expect you to wait for him.
You said he'll be gone the rest of the year? Girl bye. At least that's my opinion. He's never really acted like a boyfriend. You've been questioning the relationship since it started. Are you really happy with him? Or just emotionally attached? I suspect it's the later. You don't need this guy. His level of interest is lukewarm to cold whereas yours is boiling over. That's setting yourself up to get hurt, over and over again. If you stop texting him and end things today, yes it will suck at first. But give it a week, you will see the light and wonder why you ever wasted so much effort on this. Promise, I've been through this kind of thing before and learned the hard way. Especially if you are young -- late teens or early 20s -- you'll get better at weeding these kind of guys out over time.
It hurts nothing to keep him as Plan B, and keep looking for a different Plan A.
Everybody dating has some sort of backup plan. Even men, it's not a gender thing. Unlike that other guy with the profile help topic I can handle multiple relationships. In fact I like it that way, until I find somebody I wanna go exclusive with.
I tried the one-at-a-time relationship thing and there's something to say for that too, but only if you are seeing them 1+ times/week like I was.
Sound like he’s doing the exact same thing. He’s texting you when he’s bored and not asking to see you. The only difference is maybe he’s really sick in which case, he’s going to be contagious for 3 week. Just let this unfold naturally. Soon enough you too are going to be bored with the texting and this will probably fizzle out.
Why don’t you break things off now since he’s going to be gone for so many months soon? I think that is pretty reasonable and he would understand. You could tell him that the relationship didn’t have a lot of time to fully solidify before he goes out of town (not his fault, you understand that he was sick). But that you really need to know the guy better and have a more solid foundation before committing to what will soon be a long distance relationship.
You can start seeing him again when he’s back. Or maybe you will have met someone else. It’s too early in this relationship for him to expect you to wait for him.
The relationship hasn't been long enough to have been talking "boyfriend/girlfriend" in any case.
He texted me multiple texts this morning to update his work situation. I was beyond annoyed. Like, dude, I’m not your coworker, we don’t even have a slolid foundation to be friends. Why do you need to report your work life to me?
I was pretty short and neutral-toned in my one line reply, and stopped replying after he sent something else.
Should I have a talk with him and end things or just let it fizzle out?
He texted me multiple texts this morning to update his work situation. I was beyond annoyed. Like, dude, I’m not your coworker, we don’t even have a slolid foundation to be friends. Why do you need to report your work life to me?
I was pretty short and neutral-toned in my one line reply, and stopped replying after he sent something else.
Should I have a talk with him and end things or just let it fizzle out?
Did you read the replies since the last time you posted?
He texted me multiple texts this morning to update his work situation. I was beyond annoyed. Like, dude, I’m not your coworker, we don’t even have a slolid foundation to be friends. Why do you need to report your work life to me?
It almost sounds that you might on his "work group messaging" list by mistake.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle
Did you read the replies since the last time you posted?
AND - yes. Please stop asking the same question over and over again. READ our replies.
Your question was already answered on the first page.
He texted me multiple texts this morning to update his work situation. I was beyond annoyed. Like, dude, I’m not your coworker, we don’t even have a slolid foundation to be friends. Why do you need to report your work life to me?
I was pretty short and neutral-toned in my one line reply, and stopped replying after he sent something else.
Should I have a talk with him and end things or just let it fizzle out?
Maybe just ask him if he wants to go get some food. See what kind of response you get. If he has an excuse, you could tell him you're looking for a boyfriend, not a texting pal. That would probably either straighten things out or cause a good end of relationship fight.
And if he tells you he's still sick, you could sarcastically say you're not worried about catching something from someone with a 98.6 fever.
(This may not be the best advice but what's there to lose at this point?)
Did you read the replies since the last time you posted?
Quote:
Originally Posted by elnina
It almost sounds that you might on his "work group messaging" list by mistake.
AND - yes. Please stop asking the same question over and over again. READ our replies.
Your question was already answered on the first page.
If she had been here for advice or even for an ordinary, "can you believe this happened" type of vindication, then this thread would have ended in a page or two.
Really, I think it's amazing that she can still comment with all the suffering she's pretending to have been through. That kind of faux outrage takes a toll.
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