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Sounds like someone is nursing the pain from the lie-becareful of people who like to stay in pain patterns.They won't let the relationship heal. Some people prefer to be in a relationship with pain.
Interesting. Kind of like how some people only like relationships filled with drama.
Interesting. Kind of like how some people only like relationships filled with drama.
And that's the question you need to answer yourself - why do you like this relationship which is filled with drama?
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I'm just a firm believer of working things out especially when they are repairable. I just want him to learn that forgiveness is okay and doesn't get me off the hook (that's how he see's it). His friends even vouch for me. He just thinks negatively all the time about the situation that no longer has any bearing on what we currently have going on.
Based upon the clues you’ve dropped, it sounds like the “offense” was that you were talking to someone online and you were not truthful to him about it. IMO, you guys were just 3 - 4 weeks into a relationship and this offense was so minor, it certainly doesn’t warrant a year and a half of it being thrown in your face. If he was so hurt by it, he should have just ended the relationship.
He can deny it all he wants but he enjoys having this control over you. He also enjoys using this as an excuse for not having to validate your feelings.
Let me guess - he pretty much gets a pass when he behaves badly while you get lambasted for every little thing you do that he deems “wrong”?
I know you probably won’t do it, but the next time he throws it in your face your response should be: “It’s been a year and a half. I’ve done nothing since to cause you to mistrust me. I’m completely transparent about my social media use. This is your one warning - I never want to hear about it again. Let it go or I’m done. I deserve to be heard. I deserve to have feelings. I deserve for you empathize with those feelings. If you can’t do that, I’m done.”
I'm just a firm believer of working things out especially when they are repairable. I just want him to learn that forgiveness is okay and doesn't get me off the hook (that's how he see's it). His friends even vouch for me. He just thinks negatively all the time about the situation that no longer has any bearing on what we currently have going on.
Clearly he is not over whatever it is you did. Since you guys had just started dating, I am not sure why he stayed. You say you want him to learn forgiveness. At this point it is clear he is either incapable of forgiving you or just does not want to. Your hanging on and proving yourself to him means nothing if he is of a different mind. Are you holding on this relationship because you love this guy or is it because you want to prove your worth to him and/or hoping that he would value you in the way you want?
Seems to me he is showing his true colors. He is THAT immature and insecure that he is still holding this over your head after you have done all the right things to gain his trust back. It was the beginning of the relationship after all. If he can't see you are not like that after all this time, he is not going to get over it, ever. Sorry.
You have very good feelings but you are naive to think that you can "teach him" or even show him you are sincere. You already have and he refuses to believe you.
I would tell him right out that he needs to let this go, or you are gone. I am not a big fan of ultimatums but you really need to be serious about this and he seriously needs to let it go.
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