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What would you do if you went on a date with a woman and she listed every one of her shortcomings and then started crying?
Hyperbole. Nobody is way it "shut up and deal with it" as the general course of action. (BTW, this thread is not exclusively about you and for you.) Rather, "JUST complaining won't do anything" is more to the point of addressing the constant complaining, and definitely the blaming, for those who do (and there are many).
I suspect you vented at "At Arms Length" a few pages back when you might have better aimed at goodheathen, who I think is at best obtuse and perhaps genuinely selfish with his suggestions to solve his, or rather this societal problem. AAL seems to be genuinely searching and entirely willing to take responsibility for his issues. Not selfish. Not blaming. Perhaps a bit soft in his verbal body language, which seems to irritate both men and women here.
AAL, I don't think JerZ was trying to shut you down, though I see how you might feel that way. Like I said in an earlier post, men expressing the wrong emotions is akin to being the wrong type of man. I'm not sure what the right emotions are, though anger and perhaps crying over father issues get an ironic sort of pass. But you might be wise to stay in the game and to revel in going against type. If you think you're perceived as different, own that.
Millions, maybe tens of millions, of people are struggling with dating, including a substantial portion that doesn't make it to the sex or defined pairing stage, but somehow the takeaway is, instead of things need to change, that I (with no history here of complaints of ugliness or repulsion to women) am selfish? Says a lot about the City-Data atmosphere.
Millions, maybe tens of millions, of people are struggling with dating, including a substantial portion that doesn't make it to the sex or defined pairing stage, but somehow the takeaway is, instead of things need to change, that I (with no history here of complaints of ugliness or repulsion to women) am selfish? Says a lot about the City-Data atmosphere.
It's unreasonable to clean up dating sites and tweak marriage/divorce law?
Uh, yeah, when your "solution" is one rooted in entitlement, control, and power imbalances, which encourages relationship dynamics that have nothing to do with interest, connection, chemistry, compatibility, etc., and everything to do with making sure disgruntled, bitter, entitled, faux nice guys have access to sex. Yes, expecting women to change their standards or criteria so that "men" aren't left out, is unreasonable.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,951,955 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by goodheathen
It's unreasonable to clean up dating sites and tweak marriage/divorce law?
Clean up? You mean by that to force women who don't want to communicate with you to be made to see your messages when they choose not to. That's what you mean.
It's unreasonable to clean up dating sites and tweak marriage/divorce law?
Yes it is. We already have too much government, too many laws and regulations, too many government employees, too high taxes, and we don't want more of the same. The government has already proved how badly they can mess things up, ex: healthcare. Website owners have the legal right to have any kind of sites they like as long as they don't break any laws, and I am pretty sure all they are guilty of is manipulation, not a crime.
And also, what Meta said above. She addressed the social and legal side of the issue.
GH, you have to understand the Constitution. The government has no legal right to intervene in our affairs of culture. If any laws were passed they would likely be unconstitutional.
You're asking for society to change because of you and your lofty ideas. That's not the way society changes. It just morphs and you can be part of it. If you get really big you may be able to influence it. Take your ideas there.
Myself, I changed to adapt to society because I don't want to sleep alone for the rest of my life.
Clean up? You mean by that to force women who don't want to communicate with you to be made to see your messages when they choose not to. That's what you mean.
And yes, that is 10000% unreasonable.
1) They didn't choose that. OkCupid imposed that on the users, many of whom have since stopped using the site.
2) That's not what I meant by cleaning up dating sites, but OKCupid should undo that and other changes for not just users but its own survival.
Cleaning up dating sites is about fraud and abuse by the companies and users, and government has the right and in my opinion duty to intervene in that.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,937 posts, read 36,951,955 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by goodheathen
1) They didn't choose that. OkCupid imposed that on the users, many of whom have since stopped using the site.
2) That's not what I meant by cleaning up dating sites, but OKCupid should undo that and other changes for not just users but its own survival.
Cleaning up dating sites is about fraud and abuse by the companies and users, and government has the right and in my opinion duty to intervene in that.
They made the changes in response to feedback from the users. Now, more women are satisfied with their experience there according to their data. Companies, smart one anyways, when they are losing customer due to negative experiences change their practices to better retain the clients that are most valuable to them.
OKC is just fine. There is no fraud. I've never paid them a single penny. What could they be defrauding me of? It's a private company with lots of competitors. You're free to use another, or even start another (people do it all the time) if you don't like it.
Please please please if there is a God, let the government put more effort and money into the opiate/heroin overdose epidemic, healthcare, Medicare, or homelessness before they put effort into matchmaking for incels. 🙏
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