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What on earth did my answer have to do with being a SJW??? Not quite sure I understand the tie-in. Explain?
Excuse me for letting my history with you taint my view of you or your intentions if your intentions in making the comment you chose to make where of an actual curiosity and true.
If you actually wanted an explanation and not just to make a bait post to pick a personal nit, it was supplied.
Otherwise go suck an egg
No hate intended, I would just rather not do this with you.
Bran, why are you still there? It sounds insufferable.
Well, that is something I ask myself a lot. There are many reasons. Right now, believe it or not, the positives outweigh the negatives. He is not a bad guy. He just has no concept that he's not the center of the universe. Over time I have learned to deal with it, I guess.
They know how to shower you in love, attention and praise. The only problem is this tends to go stale once they think they've "got you", and their nastier traits will start to emerge. They need constant attention and validation, and if you cannot give it, they are very likely to get it somewhere else.
The biggest issue with narcissism is a lack of empathy. They cannot understand or grasp the fact that their behaviour is unfair to other people, because they see themselves as number one always.
I wonder if any of you have lived with it? Are there any patterns that we can link up or compare. I know it's next to impossible to change or even help a narcissist, because they are so set in their ways...usually their problems come from serious insecurity, an insatiable hunger for attention and a deep-seated competitive mind.
Is a pattern that links to narcissist also is cycle of abuse? What is the duration between "showers with love" and "lack of empathy" - 2 weeks, 4 weeks, 1 week, 1 year?
You describe "showers with love" and "lack of empathy" and interpret this as "narcissism". It sounds more like abuse and sociopathy. You may think that you can change the narcissist, but you cannot.
You need to identify the duration of the cycle of abuse between "showers with love" and "lack of empathy" to be on your best behavior at those times. When you figure out the duration of the cycle (2 weeks. 4 weeks), leave when he is in the remorse stage - day 2 after "lack of empathy".
Well, that is something I ask myself a lot. There are many reasons. Right now, believe it or not, the positives outweigh the negatives. He is not a bad guy. He just has no concept that he's not the center of the universe. Over time I have learned to deal with it, I guess.
If that is true he is more likely simply self-absorbed than an actual narcissist.
My mother has been diagnosed by a psychiatrist with Narcissistic Personality disorder.
She grew up with bipolar mom and alcoholic dad. Extended family members reached out and lavished her with attention to make up for it. She got used to being in a constant state of anxiety. She noticed when she is perceived as a victim she gets out of being responsible for her own life. I think the difference between her and someone who is just self absorbed is that she is willing to manipulate any and every situation to suit herself without even realizing she is doing it. Her lack of self awareness is staggering.
So, how can you tell? When you find yourself going above and beyond to please this person against all reason and logic. And it is never enough.
Well, that is something I ask myself a lot. There are many reasons. Right now, believe it or not, the positives outweigh the negatives. He is not a bad guy. He just has no concept that he's not the center of the universe. Over time I have learned to deal with it, I guess.
I’m in the same boat as you.
I have learned to channel her foolishness. Well, that’s what I call it.
One thing I noticed is if I purchase something then she needs something to make it fair. This has happened a ton of times and once I called her out she went on to character bash me.
When I said I’m going to watch the game with a friend I would hear, “You’re going to leave me hear alone.. by myself?”
If I return from a store with a bag, “What did you by me?”
“I spent some money to buy a few things that we needed at the house.” Me
“I spent ALL my money to pay this bill and that bill.”
Yeah, I have been with this for quite a while.
I have become numb and say stuff like, “Aww, poor you.”
My mother has been diagnosed by a psychiatrist with Narcissistic Personality disorder.
She grew up with bipolar mom and alcoholic dad. Extended family members reached out and lavished her with attention to make up for it. She got used to being in a constant state of anxiety. She noticed when she is perceived as a victim she gets out of being responsible for her own life. I think the difference between her and someone who is just self absorbed is that she is willing to manipulate any and every situation to suit herself without even realizing she is doing it. Her lack of self awareness is staggering.
So, how can you tell? When you find yourself going above and beyond to please this person against all reason and logic. And it is never enough.
This sounds right on point. Their entire life is a big manipulation and they don't think a thing of it. They like to play victim AND hero somehow and it is crazymaking for anyone in their close sphere. The way the Ns in my family dealt is to surround themselves with people who are quite damaged and who won't make waves with them.
I have learned to channel her foolishness. Well, that’s what I call it.
One thing I noticed is if I purchase something then she needs something to make it fair. This has happened a ton of times and once I called her out she went on to character bash me.
When I said I’m going to watch the game with a friend I would hear, “You’re going to leave me hear alone.. by myself?”
If I return from a store with a bag, “What did you by me?”
“I spent some money to buy a few things that we needed at the house.” Me
“I spent ALL my money to pay this bill and that bill.”
Yeah, I have been with this for quite a while.
I have become numb and say stuff like, “Aww, poor you.”
Is this narcissism, or an adult who never matured past age 6? Have you ever said, "You're a big girl. You can handle being alone"?
Unbelievable, except I'm sure you're not making it up. OP, it seems, that she needs a nanny. You could suggest she hire one.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 11-21-2018 at 11:10 AM..
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