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The Swinger Lifestyle is one I have actually thought about getting into (albeit with me being a single guy).
I figured you were asking because you were interested in getting into it (if they are accepting). I, however, am not interested in getting into it. I'm just nosey/curious.
I figured you were asking because you were interested in getting into it (if they are accepting). I, however, am not interested in getting into it. I'm just nosey/curious.
I don't think moving to a particular place that gives you a better chance to participate more frequently in something you enjoy (like a hobby or lifestyle of some sort) is a bad idea, at all.
The first chance I had to move to Southern California at age 27, I went and just did it. I'm really into surfing, but I spent the majority of the first 26 years of my life in North Jersey, where it took at least an hour or more one way to drive to surf. I eventually moved down to South Jersey, really close to the beach for about 20 months, before going out to SoCal with two friends, who were also departing Jersey to enjoy surfing out in California.
I only spent 3 years there, but I only moved due to cost of living and getting a job offer in Jacksonville, Florida. If the job offer was on the Gulf Coast of Florida or pretty much anywhere south of Jupiter on the Atlantic Coast of Florida, or anywhere else that wasn't near the coast (coast meaning ocean), I wouldn't have done it. I would have just stayed out there. The other two guys still live out there and are as happy with it as ever.
I no longer have that job, but I am certainly content where I am right now.
As far swinging goes, that's a lifestyle that I don't participate in or have any experience with, unlike surfing. So I can't be of much help there.
Sounds reasonable....I've just never been in a situation where I had equally good job offers in two locations such that I could decide where I wanted to go based on surfing (or sex) possibilities...and I'd not put either of those ahead of a good job.
Because like I said a Google search will do the trick. This thread is just an an excuse to self-titilate.
I dunno, I think it's just as valid as any other question about "Hey, anybody know about this thing I'm interested in, and where I might move to enjoy it?" on a forum full of advice about various locations. I mean, I don't see people getting into the scurrilous details here.
Though if the OP had particular locations in mind it might make more sense to ask in their respective location subforums. I know my city subforum has had people asking about LGBTQ+ presence and community in this area for instance.
And we certainly get plenty of questions in this subforum about situations and lines of thinking that don't apply to most people, but hold some sort of relevance to the poster. I guess I feel like, if you don't want to talk about, or think about, the subject of a thread...just skip past it, no? Nobody is trying to titillate anybody that I can see. It would probably take more than coming to a forum and saying the word "swinger" to titillate most people who are into it. lol Titillate. Silly word.
Y'know what we say a lot, "Your kink is not my kink and that's ok." Swinging isn't my thing, but...so what?
Quote:
Originally Posted by reneeh63
Yeah....I've never really bought into that much of a relationship between liberalism and alt lifestyles - if anything I'd bet it's an inverse relationship. Too much outward prudery/conservatism ends up getting expressed one way or another...
What I don't get, OP, is crossing the line to the degree that you'd actually move to a particular part of the country to engage in specific sexual activity. To me that's a strong sign that you're way too heavily invested in something...leaning toward a compulsion.
People move here for the skiing. I don't see how that's more ok. Seems a good way to break your neck if you ask me.
*shrug*
To those asking about single men, single women, etc. The parties I'm aware of (mostly because I do have to know policy in my club even if I'm not involved in those specific events) is that they employ strategies to try and keep the parties from becoming a "sausage fest" ...it's one of the things I don't really like about swinger parties to be honest. Like at my club, pricing at the door is $5 for a single women, $45 for a couple, and $50 for a single man. And they have a ratio of 3 single men tops, to each woman or couple. I personally dislike anything that gives me a sense that women are the sexual commodity and men the consumers of it, I always felt like if I'm taking the time to interact intimately with a guy, he'd better be a commodity of some kind himself after all! But I don't make the rules, and I guess they've had enough of a problem trying to keep anything like a gender variety at these things, that it's become necessary. Most of the places I've heard of have some kind of similar policy. Many alt-lifestyle, swinger, fetish, etc venues are far more expensive in other cities, from what I've heard, too.
My wife and I had an interesting adventure. We had a frantic few months several years ago. This was when our kids were all in school and had a zillion activities from Boy Scouts to violin to soccer, volleyball, and everything else. So we barely saw each other, even on weekends.
One Saturday, as a way to get us out of the house and away from the kids, I told my wife, "Let's go to the new wine bar, enjoy a glass, and decide where we're going to eat dinner."
We arrived at this chichi place. The hostess asked if we were with the party. What party? Uh, no, we're not. With that, we were ushered to the opposite side of the place from an area that was partitioned off from the rest of the bar.
As we chitchatted and compared our day, we started noticing the people arriving for the party. The guys were mostly in their 40s and 50s and, almost to a man, were wearing Tommy Bahama shirts. You know, the unflattering aging frat boy stuff no man should ever be caught dead wearing over the age of 25 or more than fifty feet from a beach (This is where some guy inevitably says, "Hey, I look good in Tommy Bahamas." No. No you don't). Meanwhile, the women were all wearing barely-there dresses. "You know, none of those women are wearing panties," my wife drily noted.
The other oddity that happened frequently was that two couples would stroll outside and stand on the sidewalk, talk for a couple of minutes, then stroll back in. And the capper was that people were wearing name tags on a Saturday night event. Professional events? Sure. Church events? Sure. But name tags at an ordinary social occasions on a Saturday night? No.
After being amateur sociologists for twenty minutes or so, we finally asked our waiter what the deal was. His flush took on the same shade as my wife's rioja and he said, "It's a swinger's meetup." Our jaws dropped. All in all, it looked as if the entire contingent had tunneled out of an Assembly of God church retreat and tried to pick out nightclub wear in order to blend in with the locals. Certainly not hip, uber-hot hypersexualized soccer moms and dads that the popular imagination would like us to think they are.
"No way!" my wife said. "We have to meet those people."
So we paid our bill and strolled into the party area. On our name tags, I identified myself as Rod and my wife went as Bambi. We don't exactly look like cast members of Baywatch or anything, but my wife and I aren't shabby from an appearance standpoint. We take good care of ourselves. So five minutes in, we must have had ten different couples introduce themselves. Like guys elbowing their way in with their wives in tow. Nobody actually talked about going out and making the beast with two backs, but we had some dinner invitations thrown our way in no time at all.
After a few minutes of this, we became more and more uncomfortable with it, feeling a little like the new exotic dinner special at the Olive Garden or something. It stopped being an adventure and became really weird instead. I mean, people with whom you've had a thirty-second conversation typically don't invite you to enjoy dinner somewhere nice and cozy. We made our excuses and left.
When we got outside and strolled to the car, my wife said, "You know? I wouldn't have done any of them." I had to agree. So much for the mystique of that lifestyle.
Last edited by MinivanDriver; 12-03-2018 at 10:00 AM..
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