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It's a great way to get clarity. And when she's not standing in the way (metaphorically) you may open your eyes to other options around you.
I hope so..If I could meet someone who actually wants to be with me I think it would help me out a lot in getting over her..it would also probably help me realize how many awful dangerous flaws she really has if I meet someone more sane and less selfish.
I just have to snap out of the negative mindset that somethings wrong with me that’s why she didn’t want to be with me..
I had been friends with this girl for years and developed feelings for her. I told her about those feelings and things just became awkward. We eventually starting fighting about pointless stuff and couldn't really be close friends after that. So I just blocked her number and moved on. Yes, I am petty. But that is how I get over people. Cut them out completely.
I had been friends with this girl for years and developed feelings for her. I told her about those feelings and things just became awkward. We eventually starting fighting about pointless stuff and couldn't really be close friends after that. So I just blocked her number and moved on. Yes, I am petty. But that is how I get over people. Cut them out completely.
I can relate. I told her something similar, and while we are still friends, there are times when things are just awkward for less of a better word.
Yeah, you have to do what you got to do. It is possible that sense you told her how you felt, she kept getting images about you and her together, and it made her uneasy. So she wanted to push you away.
I hope so..If I could meet someone who actually wants to be with me I think it would help me out a lot in getting over her..it would also probably help me realize how many awful dangerous flaws she really has if I meet someone more sane and less selfish.
I just have to snap out of the negative mindset that somethings wrong with me that’s why she didn’t want to be with me..
You keep putting the onus on things exterior to you. You HAVE to look inward to solve your struggles, not hope to meet another woman and use her to get over this one.
I hope so..If I could meet someone who actually wants to be with me I think it would help me out a lot in getting over her..it would also probably help me realize how many awful dangerous flaws she really has if I meet someone more sane and less selfish.
I just have to snap out of the negative mindset that somethings wrong with me that’s why she didn’t want to be with me..
Or perhaps, rather than meeting someone who wants to be with you, you build a network of people that you enjoy spending time with, who enjoy your company, and work on becoming your best self during this time as well. Let go the idea that you need a relationship to validate your being. It would be nice to have one, but it is not necessary to complete you, or to finally be proof that you are a worthwhile and lovable person. Letting go of outcomes is a big, big deal.
Find, and learn to truly appreciate, the people who love you even when they don't need or demand anything other than your presence, for who you truly are, and be able to return that favor, demanding nothing, appreciating everything. It re-writes the script.
I recently told a story in the CD-R Chat thread about randomly meeting and having this ridiculously enthusiastic conversation with three complete strangers at the grocery store, about apples. This seems so irrelevant but it's an illustration of something about my mindset. I didn't know those men enough to "love" them but I loved their humanity. I garnered great joy in just smiling and talking for half an hour. It was silly and fantastic. Those people, have become part of my proof of a world of abundance. That I can share some few moments of positive energy with three strangers just like that.
Because here's the thing...if you were to make a promising connection, and to embark upon a relationship, while still bearing the psychological burden of incompleteness, scarcity, and low self worth, the relationship will not in fact have the effect you hope for. It will be a dysfunctional endeavor that is more likely to result in further damage to you and to the other person. It takes two whole people to form a healthy relationship. A whole person has a healthy relationship with himself, and with the world around him, first. Those who believe that this is only possible with a romantic relationship in their lives, usually are not in a place to build a good, honest, fulfilling one. You really do have to get right with yourself first.
Maybe that takes exercise, therapy, self-improvement or just good self-care, journaling, philosophy, spirituality...there are many possible paths to the desired outcome. You've got to find (and believe in) yours.
I have tried in the past and have been in situations both catching and receiving.
once that cats out it’s not very easy to lure back inside. It’s next to impossible to ignore when there is more involved to your involvement with someone...even if you manage to convince yourself otherwise.
Choosing to ignore or not think about the feelings involved is just trying to fool yourself in to something that is not representative of the truth. by extention the whole relation mutates in to something else entirely outside of an honestly driven respect for one another. It’s becomes a foundation of half truth and secrets that is designed to fool everyone in to believing things are something they are not just to preserve your own personally held importance in it all.
Or perhaps, rather than meeting someone who wants to be with you, you build a network of people that you enjoy spending time with, who enjoy your company, and work on becoming your best self during this time as well. Let go the idea that you need a relationship to validate your being. It would be nice to have one, but it is not necessary to complete you, or to finally be proof that you are a worthwhile and lovable person. Letting go of outcomes is a big, big deal.
Find, and learn to truly appreciate, the people who love you even when they don't need or demand anything other than your presence, for who you truly are, and be able to return that favor, demanding nothing, appreciating everything. It re-writes the script.
I recently told a story in the CD-R Chat thread about randomly meeting and having this ridiculously enthusiastic conversation with three complete strangers at the grocery store, about apples. This seems so irrelevant but it's an illustration of something about my mindset. I didn't know those men enough to "love" them but I loved their humanity. I garnered great joy in just smiling and talking for half an hour. It was silly and fantastic. Those people, have become part of my proof of a world of abundance. That I can share some few moments of positive energy with three strangers just like that.
Because here's the thing...if you were to make a promising connection, and to embark upon a relationship, while still bearing the psychological burden of incompleteness, scarcity, and low self worth, the relationship will not in fact have the effect you hope for. It will be a dysfunctional endeavor that is more likely to result in further damage to you and to the other person. It takes two whole people to form a healthy relationship. A whole person has a healthy relationship with himself, and with the world around him, first. Those who believe that this is only possible with a romantic relationship in their lives, usually are not in a place to build a good, honest, fulfilling one. You really do have to get right with yourself first.
Maybe that takes exercise, therapy, self-improvement or just good self-care, journaling, philosophy, spirituality...there are many possible paths to the desired outcome. You've got to find (and believe in) yours.
I have tried in the past and have been in situations both catching and receiving.
once that cats out it’s not very easy to lure back inside. It’s next to impossible to ignore when there is more involved to your involvement with someone...even if you manage to convince yourself otherwise.
Choosing to ignore or not think about the feelings involved is just trying to fool yourself in to something that is not representative of the truth. by extention the whole relation mutates in to something else entirely outside of an honestly driven respect for one another. It’s becomes a foundation of half truth and secrets that is designed to fool everyone in to believing things are something they are not just to preserve your own personally held importance in it all.
Or perhaps, rather than meeting someone who wants to be with you, you build a network of people that you enjoy spending time with, who enjoy your company, and work on becoming your best self during this time as well. Let go the idea that you need a relationship to validate your being. It would be nice to have one, but it is not necessary to complete you, or to finally be proof that you are a worthwhile and lovable person. Letting go of outcomes is a big, big deal.
Find, and learn to truly appreciate, the people who love you even when they don't need or demand anything other than your presence, for who you truly are, and be able to return that favor, demanding nothing, appreciating everything. It re-writes the script.
I recently told a story in the CD-R Chat thread about randomly meeting and having this ridiculously enthusiastic conversation with three complete strangers at the grocery store, about apples. This seems so irrelevant but it's an illustration of something about my mindset. I didn't know those men enough to "love" them but I loved their humanity. I garnered great joy in just smiling and talking for half an hour. It was silly and fantastic. Those people, have become part of my proof of a world of abundance. That I can share some few moments of positive energy with three strangers just like that.
Because here's the thing...if you were to make a promising connection, and to embark upon a relationship, while still bearing the psychological burden of incompleteness, scarcity, and low self worth, the relationship will not in fact have the effect you hope for. It will be a dysfunctional endeavor that is more likely to result in further damage to you and to the other person. It takes two whole people to form a healthy relationship. A whole person has a healthy relationship with himself, and with the world around him, first. Those who believe that this is only possible with a romantic relationship in their lives, usually are not in a place to build a good, honest, fulfilling one. You really do have to get right with yourself first.
Maybe that takes exercise, therapy, self-improvement or just good self-care, journaling, philosophy, spirituality...there are many possible paths to the desired outcome. You've got to find (and believe in) yours.
You’re right I do have to get better first..
You’re also right that I have to enjoy the people in my life who do love me and I truly do..That I’m
Extremely grateful for..
It’s also one of the reasons why aside from the crush part that it’s hard for me to kick this person out of my life..
She is one of the people who does truly love and care for me and I don’t want to totally throw that away just because it’s not in a romantic way..
But I realize I have to get over my feelings for her first and get myself right before I can try to even go back to normal with her or she’s just gonna drag me down into that pit again..
Or perhaps, rather than meeting someone who wants to be with you, you build a network of people that you enjoy spending time with, who enjoy your company, and work on becoming your best self during this time as well. Let go the idea that you need a relationship to validate your being. It would be nice to have one, but it is not necessary to complete you, or to finally be proof that you are a worthwhile and lovable person. Letting go of outcomes is a big, big deal.
Find, and learn to truly appreciate, the people who love you even when they don't need or demand anything other than your presence, for who you truly are, and be able to return that favor, demanding nothing, appreciating everything. It re-writes the script.
I recently told a story in the CD-R Chat thread about randomly meeting and having this ridiculously enthusiastic conversation with three complete strangers at the grocery store, about apples. This seems so irrelevant but it's an illustration of something about my mindset. I didn't know those men enough to "love" them but I loved their humanity. I garnered great joy in just smiling and talking for half an hour. It was silly and fantastic. Those people, have become part of my proof of a world of abundance. That I can share some few moments of positive energy with three strangers just like that.
Because here's the thing...if you were to make a promising connection, and to embark upon a relationship, while still bearing the psychological burden of incompleteness, scarcity, and low self worth, the relationship will not in fact have the effect you hope for. It will be a dysfunctional endeavor that is more likely to result in further damage to you and to the other person. It takes two whole people to form a healthy relationship. A whole person has a healthy relationship with himself, and with the world around him, first. Those who believe that this is only possible with a romantic relationship in their lives, usually are not in a place to build a good, honest, fulfilling one. You really do have to get right with yourself first.
Maybe that takes exercise, therapy, self-improvement or just good self-care, journaling, philosophy, spirituality...there are many possible paths to the desired outcome. You've got to find (and believe in) yours.
I applaud you for being able to tell the users this. It was hard for me to understand for the longest time as well, because when people tell you you're a really cool guy, but it doesn't translate into the monogamy you feel you deserve, it can end up being a blow to your ego.
In order to enjoy the journey of life, you have to figure out how to love yourself. Then, even if a long-term relationship takes longer than you planned to materialize, you don't sit around feeling like a failure. It could always be worse too. You could be in a relationship that's physically and/or emotionally abusive and you feel stuck. I rather love myself alone than be miserable sharing my life with another person. As the Tyler Perry movie states, I can do bad all by myself.
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