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Men have more things that make them unattractive(outside of face which both genders can’t contol ) that
are totally out their control like hair and height(I’m 5’8 and receeding so I’m ****ed) and you say not wanting fat women but not wanting short guys is a wash? Look I know losing weight can be hard for some women but it’s a lot easier then a man trying to grow lol
I’m not knocking anyone for preferences it is what it is..When I get the money I’m gonna get hairplugs and a nose job and hopefully that will get me a few dates at least and my foot in the door
In the mean time, if you are not using finasteride (Propecia) and minoxidil (Rogaine) (generic versions are fine, and all up won't cost you $40 per month) - you are not really trying.
That and hit the gym.
Be careful who you choose to do a hair transplant - and even more careful about the nose job. Done poorly, you could end up much worse off.
Haha, that's not equal! Weight you can change. Height you cannot control!
Most of this reply is aimed at JBT1980, but I want to speak to this though...
"Weight you can change."
Some people can. I know a lot of people who cannot, short of surgery. People who put themselves through torture for decades trying. People who got eating disorders trying. The fact that some ethnicities have different genetic responses to amounts of food that are quite normal for most people in American culture, is well established. Not everyone can afford a gym membership and the higher cost of "healthy" food, and for some, being extremely heavy starts in childhood, which most certainly was not their fault.
I'm well effing aware of how LUCKY I am that I have a metabolism or thyroid or whatever the hell it is, that keeps me small, I do not take this for granted. I have had loved ones close to me who have lived through a hell beyond my imagining trying to combat their weight. Men and women both. But the overweight men I've known have caught less hell for it from women, and often given themselves less hell for it, too.
Frankly when I hear guys so damn determined to make looks out to be this all important thing, and to deny that they have any ability to be appreciated by women for other things, all it starts to sound like to me is,
- Inability to understand that anyone has a different perspective than yours. Total unwillingness to try to contemplate what another person's lived experience might be like, and a need to invalidate it.
- Self pitying, self sabotaging (easier to say "it's not my fault" than to try to connect on another basis with someone)
- A need to be "allowed" to be attracted to women for their looks, and not feel that anyone is considering it shallow, by pointing at women and insisting that we are also shallow.
- The ridiculous sense of competition as though you must prove that your struggles are harder than those of others, when everyone has struggles of some kind. They might not be the same as yours, but they are not diminished because of it. Rich, famous, partnered people, still commit suicide. People have their own struggles. Compassion is not a zero sum game.
- And stomping along through the whole parade, the entitlement to your own preferences while insisting that it is other people's "pickiness" that keeps you single.
JBT1980 let me ask you something... Do you WANT it to be hopeless? Does that serve you somehow?
Most of this reply is aimed at JBT1980, but I want to speak to this though...
JBT1980 let me ask you something... Do you WANT it to be hopeless? Does that serve you somehow?
I’m gonna get hairplugs and a nosejob so it’s not hopeless..I’m trying to increase my odds..
But until then why set myself up for disappointment..I just came off that with my heart crushed so I’m not expecting anything anymore..
Set my expectations low and if anything positive happens it will be a pleasant surprise..But to expect positive results in attracting women for me would just be stupid at this point.
I love big noses. Like Fidel Castro or Adrian Brody big. Other than that, I have no strong preferences. Height weight, hair (or lack thereof): whatevs.
I’m gonna get hairplugs and a nosejob so it’s not hopeless..I’m trying to increase my odds..
But until then why set myself up for disappointment..I just came off that with my heart crushed so I’m not expecting anything anymore..
Set my expectations low and if anything positive happens it will be a pleasant surprise..But to expect positive results in attracting women for me would just be stupid at this point.
I think that working on the attitude and social skills would lead to more happiness than cosmetic procedures will but whatever.
You got your heart crushed because you fastened onto a friend, one with boundary issues and other problems, and wasted a bunch of time pining and hoping and not even trying to build any other connections, even after she shot you down and dated other guys. You didn't get crushed because of your looks, and you know that. You just use it as a stick to beat yourself with, whenever you're feeling down.
I think that working on the attitude and social skills would lead to more happiness than cosmetic procedures will but whatever.
You got your heart crushed because you fastened onto a friend, one with boundary issues and other problems, and wasted a bunch of time pining and hoping and not even trying to build any other connections, even after she shot you down and dated other guys. You didn't get crushed because of your looks, and you know that. You just use it as a stick to beat yourself with, whenever you're feeling down.
How do I know my looks weren’t the reason?
My social skills are fine other then not being able to cold approach women which I’m working on..because without single women in my social circle it’s something I’m gonna have to learn to do since old doesn’t work for me.
My social skills are fine other then not being able to cold approach women which I’m working on..
You said they weren't. We talked about that, in the thread where she had made out with you. You were, for a change, thinking maybe you are not so unforgivable ugly that you could not be found appealing by a woman.
And by "social skills" I mean getting out there, building a network, people-ing where the people are. You connect with enough people and give them a chance to know you, if your personality is alright, then sooner or later someone will see behind the outer layer and get interested in the deeper stuff.
It's compared to my fat sorry 'behind', everyone's a Chad. I honestly don't even know who that actor is or what movie/show that clip is from. (I also live under a rock)
I thought it was Adrien Brody but I had to check. I'm under the rock two rocks down from you. And I had to check on that too.
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