What is your personal threshhold for tolerating infidelity in a relationship? (love, cheat)
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Don't get married if you know you will cheat. At the very least tell your SO that you will cheat on them and let them decide early on if they want to marry a lowlife. Think about how severely you will harm your children for the rest of their life when you consider doing something so selfish and stupid. For the rest of your life you will be cleaning up the mess you made of your children's lives. I am currently witnessing the effects of such stupidity with a friend and a family member.
It's not that easy. People cheat out of circumstance. Stressful career, sick child, chemical imbalance, so on and so on. The mentality to cheat is likely always there; however, in order to cheat, you need a willing participant. Cheating is living out a fantasy in real life for most. The person you're cheating with is getting the best you, while your partner is likely getting the worst you.
Cheating can be as circumstantial as bumping into someone at the grocery store and you two start a conversation that grows from there. I don't think it's always planned, even though for some people they do plan to cheat with a certain somebody.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MinivanDriver
Well, you predictably went to DefCon 5. It's not as if you ever had any trust to begin with. So good luck getting into a relationship in the first place, let alone nurturing or preserving one.
I'm just telling you that infidelity isn't a death sentence to the relationship, and you go all Rambo on us.
I actually think my post was tame compared to my usual musings. Don’t see what is so Rambo about being out if she cheats.
My ability to remain interested, attracted or attached to someone who gives in to weak moments that involve harm to others is extremely low at this point in life.
My current or accumulation of personal involvement with them wouldn’t matter much to my choice to move on from them. At this age you should have had enough life experience to understand yourself, who you are, what you want and how to be honest with yourself and others to avoid ended up in those type of situations.
It goes beyond simple infidelity, infidelity is just the symptom of another cause.
To put it bluntly: I ain’t got time for that type of **** in my life anymore.
I left when I had clear evidence of an emotional affair. Never in 26 years did I have a smoking gun that my ex had ever had a physical affair, but a lot of prior suspicions over the years were suddenly a LOT more plausible.
Ultimately, he was a liar and disloyal and emotionally abusive to me whether or not he ever hit the sack with any other woman he got inappropriately emotionally close to.
I have zero regrets over leaving. My life and mental state is so much better now. Cheating is often just one small part of an overall dysfunctional relationship. It's so much more than just the physical deed.
I honestly don't know what I would tolerate. It's not so black and white in some cases and there are extenuating circumstances such as how long I've been with someone or how much investment you have emotionally or financially or otherwise.
I can't say with 100 percent certainty. I'd like to say I'd be gone if she cheated, in reality, I don't know.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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I don't know. I suspect it would vary greatly with different people and different relationships. One size fits all is not something that works with interpersonal relations.
Infidelity is perhaps the ultimate form of disrespect.
Personally..... One and DONE.
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Don’t see what is so Rambo about being out if she cheats.
